What's brown and sticky?

A stick...

What's grey and hides in trees?

Ninja elephants...

Have you ever seen an elephant in a tree?

No?

Because they are ninjas...

The shannara chronicles by Terry Brooks

The Elric Saga by Michael Moorcock

When I was a baby, my mum used to bathe me in a mix of hot water and cheap Australian lager....

I was 18 before I realised I'd been fostered.