just spent many many hours over the years watching them and they turned sour, and somewhat turned against their viewers at one point. that's being as vague as possible because anytime something is mentioned their remaining parasocial audience attacks.

i did that for a while and now i'm just like... fuck it. they all know literally nothing about me because i go to work, do my job, go home. so the difference will be fun!

so I can't wait to see how this plays out

this just shot me back to a moment in time i had long since forgot

i'm bringing the "i think i'm gonna dine in this house stuffing"

it also keeps the blood off of the organizers hands if they say "hey, yall didn't support your fave" or "you didn't stand up for yourself" enough.

like no, maybe these awards were never for smaller, more marginalized streamers.

or worse, they'll feign support on social media or in bigger events and then get clipped on some smaller stream about how "left out" or "othered" THEY feel.

its wild.

so bottom line, the platform and its highest performers who "represent" the "community" will never represent the people who watch - never fully.

it's a nepotistic collaborative venture to further their own agendas, which often come out to being anti-most of their viewers. but sunk-cost fallacy.

arguably leading to more vitriol from outside their audience rather than good faith new viewers.

but these massive streamers are also to blame. "scandals" of homophobic remarks or transphobia, and they've perfectly trained their parasocial fans to pick up a mod sword to defend them.

this is an insular award show made my a streamer and all her streamer friends often get nominated because they all collaborate.

but also, the platform rarely shines the light on queer creators unless its a brand deal that needs to tokenize them or pride month, which puts them on the front page -