Find NSFW artist reference photos so you'll know that the position you're imagining will actually work.

Must be a day ending in Y

Ugh yeah that's definitely the lesser of two evils

Penis. Marriage. Homo sex.

Two out of three ain't bad.

My banker tried to push me to download the bank's app and I said nah I'm good, and while they were selling it they accidentally mentioned that theirs doesn't work bc they need to upgrade their phone.
Yeah now I'm REALLY good, thanks. 😂😂

The only time I question my decision to get another dog is every morning that I wake up to the sound of licking.

All the good ones are either taken or gay I fear, so I'm just going to chill with my toy collection and my porn bc life is too short and my blood pressure is too high.

Sure Bentley is a demanding hot mess but he actually loves to go out and touch grass so it's already an improvement.

I would give someone's right arm to know how many of them are undiagnosed and don't understand why they take any joking about autism EXTREMELY. PERSONALLY.

I used to watch that stop motion Paddington as a kid. I have no idea how my parents found it but I remember seeing it.

RUDE 🫂🫂🫂

Yup that was the look 😂😂😂