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Dave Brockman 💙💛

@davebrockman.bsky.social

390 followers 530 following 2.7K posts

Leftie, pro-EU remoaner, motorsport junkie, 80s music obsessive, comedy geek, frustrated DJ, education trustee, finance in the day job.

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Dave Brockman 💙💛

@davebrockman.bsky.social

Phrases that probably sounded amusing in 1988 but just sound mean and bitchy now #TOTP

November 28, 2025 at 7:27 PM

Dave Brockman 💙💛

@davebrockman.bsky.social

Is not Bono, is rubbish

#TOTP

November 28, 2025 at 7:15 PM

Dave Brockman 💙💛

@davebrockman.bsky.social

They're all at it!

Ukranian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy delivers a statement while looking down at the camera.

November 26, 2025 at 9:13 AM

Dave Brockman 💙💛

@davebrockman.bsky.social

It's Christmas Eve in a month's time, so to keep the tradition alive I'm watching Holy for the 33rd consecutive year! (Yes, it was released in 1992, how old does that make you feel?!)

Got to love a bit of @adrianedmondson.bsky.social and the much missed Rik.

Richie, dressed as Santa, hangs from a noose in Eddie's bedroom

Dave Hedgehog, Eddie Hitler, Spudgun and Richard Richard wear paper crowns and gather round a baby's moses basket

Richie shows off a huge but crudely drawn self-portrait

Eddie looks on as a tiny Christmas tree erupts into a huge inferno

November 24, 2025 at 7:45 PM

Dave Brockman 💙💛

@davebrockman.bsky.social

Their best reporter is on the case...

November 24, 2025 at 4:50 PM

Dave Brockman 💙💛

@davebrockman.bsky.social

How they should have improved that scene from the stupid self-indulgent coda to the Black Or White video #TOTP

November 21, 2025 at 10:13 PM

Dave Brockman 💙💛

@davebrockman.bsky.social

I have questions.... #TOTP

November 21, 2025 at 9:57 PM

Dave Brockman 💙💛

@davebrockman.bsky.social

Good old @vizcomic.bsky.social #TOTP

November 21, 2025 at 9:31 PM

Dave Brockman 💙💛

@davebrockman.bsky.social

In a couple of hours there'll be #F1 cars blasting down the Las Vegas strip at 200mph.

Stand still, Diana.... #TOTP

November 21, 2025 at 9:29 PM

Dave Brockman 💙💛

@davebrockman.bsky.social

It's Julio Geordio! #TOTP

November 21, 2025 at 9:16 PM

Dave Brockman 💙💛

@davebrockman.bsky.social

Robin! Phone call! It's Slash, asking if you've seen his hat.

#TOTP

November 21, 2025 at 9:05 PM

Dave Brockman 💙💛

@davebrockman.bsky.social

Damn, you beat me to it by two seconds! #TOTP

November 21, 2025 at 8:35 PM

Dave Brockman 💙💛

@davebrockman.bsky.social

When did that ever stop anyone on #TOTP in the 1970s?

November 21, 2025 at 8:33 PM

Dave Brockman 💙💛

@davebrockman.bsky.social

Never a truer word... #TOTP

November 21, 2025 at 8:32 PM

Dave Brockman 💙💛

@davebrockman.bsky.social

Cliff's back? Pass the mute button #TOTP

November 21, 2025 at 8:05 PM

Dave Brockman 💙💛

@davebrockman.bsky.social

When I used to drive up into that there London a lot, this was on ALL THE TIME becuase I'm sure Chris Tarrant used it as a jingle for a quiz - back when Capital FM actually had some character and individuality #TOTP

November 21, 2025 at 7:39 PM

Dave Brockman 💙💛

@davebrockman.bsky.social

Play Daniel O'Donnell, you monsters #TOTP

November 21, 2025 at 7:25 PM

Dave Brockman 💙💛

@davebrockman.bsky.social

Ah Natalie. I shall be taking no further questions at this time #TOTP

November 21, 2025 at 7:20 PM

Dave Brockman 💙💛

@davebrockman.bsky.social

While Grok is bigging up it's weird space Karen overlord, I asked it how Elon Musk would fare as a contestant on #Taskmaster, and it's sycophantic answer did not disappoint...

how would elon musk perform as a contestant on Taskmaster?Elon Musk on Taskmaster would be an absolute chaos agent — equal parts genius, disaster, and meme factory. Here’s how I think it would play out:
Prize Tasks
He’d bring in absurdly over-the-top items and somehow justify them perfectly:

“Best thing to bring to a picnic” → a full-scale Starship booster section (“It has built-in shade and you can grill on the Raptor engines”). Greg gives him 5 points just for the audacity.
“Most beautiful item” → a photo of the Tesla Cybertruck at sunset. The room groans. He deadpans “Objectively the most angular beauty in existence.” Gets 1 point but the clip goes mega-viral.

Task Performance

Creative tasks: 9/10. He’d over-engineer everything. “Make the highest tower using only spaghetti and marshmallows” → 3D-prints carbon-fiber spaghetti overnight, builds a 12-foot self-supporting lattice, then launches a mini-rocket off the top for style points. Alex Horne just stares in horror.
Lateral-thinking tasks: 10/10. He’d spot loopholes instantly. “Get this basketball in the hoop without touching the ball” → pays a random passer-by £50 via Apple Pay to do it for him in 11 seconds. Greg pretends to be furious but secretly loves it.
Physical tasks: 3/10. He’d either delegate to a Tesla Bot (disqualified) or get weirdly competitive and injure himself trying to outrun a 25-year-old comedian.
Team tasks: pure anarchy. He’d try to turn a simple three-person task into a startup pitch. “Guys, hear me out — we rebrand this as ‘TaskmasterDAO’ and tokenize the points on Solana.” His teammates mute him.

Studio Banter

Deadpan one-liners delivered with zero emotion: “I’ve colonized Mars, Greg, but your scoring system remains my greatest challenge.”
Whenever he comes last: “This is rigged harder than the legacy media.”
Greg calls him “the Dogefather of Failure” after he somehow sets fire to the caravan trying to make toast with a flamethrower (The Boring Company edition).

November 20, 2025 at 10:17 PM

Dave Brockman 💙💛

@davebrockman.bsky.social

Every time.

November 19, 2025 at 4:47 PM

Dave Brockman 💙💛

@davebrockman.bsky.social

I know he's genuinely brilliant at his day job, but I can't watch a trailer featuring David Olusoga without expecting him to get something spectacularly wrong like he did the whole way through #CelebrityTraitors