DAG The Dastardly
@dastarddoright.bsky.social
Writer, educator, administrator, tiller-of-the-earth, keeper-of-the-hearth, half-wit (only some think I'm funny), dogs lick me, kids like me, dim-wits hate me, knower-of-much (some of value), father of four and lover of one.
Anybody ever notice that there's always an odd number of sheets left at the end of a toilet paper roll? If elected president I'll fix that on Day One.
February 2, 2026 at 3:50 PM
Anybody ever notice that there's always an odd number of sheets left at the end of a toilet paper roll? If elected president I'll fix that on Day One.
I had a stream of unconsciousness once... turns out I'd over-partaken in the Irish elixir of life and passed out... got a new mattress out of it though. They call me Mellow Yellow.
January 25, 2026 at 6:22 PM
I had a stream of unconsciousness once... turns out I'd over-partaken in the Irish elixir of life and passed out... got a new mattress out of it though. They call me Mellow Yellow.
The average American reads at an 8th grade level. For god sakes reporters, call a "lie" a "lie", don't try to impress fishwrap readers with "untruth". They'll think you're trying to sell them a Plymouth.
January 23, 2026 at 4:57 PM
The average American reads at an 8th grade level. For god sakes reporters, call a "lie" a "lie", don't try to impress fishwrap readers with "untruth". They'll think you're trying to sell them a Plymouth.
You want to keep Trump and his minions out of Greenland?
Store the Epstein files there.
Store the Epstein files there.
January 17, 2026 at 12:29 AM
You want to keep Trump and his minions out of Greenland?
Store the Epstein files there.
Store the Epstein files there.
Took the Cognitive Test on the back of the Wheaties box. Aced it. Gonna invade Bikini Atoll next week. Nobody else can do that.
January 4, 2026 at 3:09 PM
Took the Cognitive Test on the back of the Wheaties box. Aced it. Gonna invade Bikini Atoll next week. Nobody else can do that.
I like that Mamdani chose to be sworn in an abandoned subway station. Something symbolic about that. We used to break into a closed park shelter to take a pee when we were kids. The four of us eventually became a cop, a dentist, a mayor and a school superintendent. We got a grip on things.
January 2, 2026 at 1:12 AM
I like that Mamdani chose to be sworn in an abandoned subway station. Something symbolic about that. We used to break into a closed park shelter to take a pee when we were kids. The four of us eventually became a cop, a dentist, a mayor and a school superintendent. We got a grip on things.
I'm Dunning. Kruger couldn't make it. Misplaced his keys...
December 18, 2025 at 1:25 AM
I'm Dunning. Kruger couldn't make it. Misplaced his keys...
This Bozo at Day Care gave me a sure-fire tip on an AI stock, went all in, but the damn thing crashed a few days later. Just about crapped my pants... whoops, hold on...
December 11, 2025 at 7:02 PM
This Bozo at Day Care gave me a sure-fire tip on an AI stock, went all in, but the damn thing crashed a few days later. Just about crapped my pants... whoops, hold on...
Fencing Out The Ice
December 7, 2025 at 2:34 PM
Fencing Out The Ice
How come I didn't get a program?
December 7, 2025 at 2:30 PM
How come I didn't get a program?
Goddamit, Mikey! You told me this was going to be an informal session!
December 6, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Goddamit, Mikey! You told me this was going to be an informal session!
I confess, it was me. It's those damn foreign bananas. Nothing a good tariff wouldn't fix. We should be growing 'em right here in Minnesota but you think Trump would listen? Noooo! He thinks North Dakota would be better! Geography just isn't one of his stronger suits...
December 6, 2025 at 5:01 PM
I confess, it was me. It's those damn foreign bananas. Nothing a good tariff wouldn't fix. We should be growing 'em right here in Minnesota but you think Trump would listen? Noooo! He thinks North Dakota would be better! Geography just isn't one of his stronger suits...
Seriously, I tell you the crazy old bastard was snoring during the cabinet meeting and Hegseth was trying to stick one of his hands in warm water. Vance was just about peeing in his own pants laughing about it. Bunch of fun-loving guys. Catch it all on Fox if you don't believe me.
December 6, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Seriously, I tell you the crazy old bastard was snoring during the cabinet meeting and Hegseth was trying to stick one of his hands in warm water. Vance was just about peeing in his own pants laughing about it. Bunch of fun-loving guys. Catch it all on Fox if you don't believe me.
An IQ test should be required of all voters.
December 5, 2025 at 4:11 PM
An IQ test should be required of all voters.
It's been noted the back of the Orange One's hands are badly bruised. Donald, I've been telling you, you have to take care of your entire hand, you just can't only grease your palms.
December 3, 2025 at 1:57 AM
It's been noted the back of the Orange One's hands are badly bruised. Donald, I've been telling you, you have to take care of your entire hand, you just can't only grease your palms.
We can predict how much snow is coming by the number of male cardinals at the feeder. Four males means 4" to 6". 8 means 10-12 inches. We counted a dozen Cards a few times and got 20". The birds did a mass suicide back in 2017 and we packed up and headed south. Took to July to dig out the house.
November 29, 2025 at 6:45 PM
We can predict how much snow is coming by the number of male cardinals at the feeder. Four males means 4" to 6". 8 means 10-12 inches. We counted a dozen Cards a few times and got 20". The birds did a mass suicide back in 2017 and we packed up and headed south. Took to July to dig out the house.
Batshit Crazy is now on sale at a mall near you, but get there fast as the Trumpsters are trying to corner the market.
November 29, 2025 at 2:18 PM
Batshit Crazy is now on sale at a mall near you, but get there fast as the Trumpsters are trying to corner the market.
Let's see if I can figure this Trumpian thread out: The Orange One sent the Guard into DC to help fight crime, but now the police, who are trained to fight crime, are being used to protect the Guard, who have been busy picking up trash and raking leaves because they're not trained to fight crime.
November 29, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Let's see if I can figure this Trumpian thread out: The Orange One sent the Guard into DC to help fight crime, but now the police, who are trained to fight crime, are being used to protect the Guard, who have been busy picking up trash and raking leaves because they're not trained to fight crime.
A Golden Fall
October 21, 2025 at 11:30 PM
A Golden Fall
The wife and I had this flu bug, mixed up our body signals, were never sure if we were going to pass gas or drop a live one. Sort of a gamble. Got me wondering what the protocol was if you woke up in the morning and found a turd in bed with you. Anyone got Melania’s number?
September 29, 2025 at 11:13 AM
The wife and I had this flu bug, mixed up our body signals, were never sure if we were going to pass gas or drop a live one. Sort of a gamble. Got me wondering what the protocol was if you woke up in the morning and found a turd in bed with you. Anyone got Melania’s number?
What's all this talk about ruptures? I knew a man who sneezed while sitting on the pot, cracked two ribs and sprung a hernia. It just don't pay to be full of shit, Donald.
September 23, 2025 at 11:34 PM
What's all this talk about ruptures? I knew a man who sneezed while sitting on the pot, cracked two ribs and sprung a hernia. It just don't pay to be full of shit, Donald.
Pre-Morning Coffee, Anything out there?
August 22, 2025 at 7:16 PM
Pre-Morning Coffee, Anything out there?
Went photo-hunting in the fog this morning. Kind of a post-battle shot. The deer have been eating the bottom branches off the trumpet vine. Don't ask my why.
August 22, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Went photo-hunting in the fog this morning. Kind of a post-battle shot. The deer have been eating the bottom branches off the trumpet vine. Don't ask my why.
It's a good thing that DOJ employee only threw a sub sandwich at that Fed cop. If he'd thrown a Big Mac the cholesterol might've killed him.
August 14, 2025 at 8:46 PM
It's a good thing that DOJ employee only threw a sub sandwich at that Fed cop. If he'd thrown a Big Mac the cholesterol might've killed him.