Darren Elmore
@darrenelmore.bsky.social
A comedian. A nap enthusiast. A gay. A metal nerd. Probably a bunch of other stuff too…I’m a lot.
Kaffee: Colonel Jessop did you order the code Red?
Jessop: you want answers?!
Kaffee: I want the truth!!
Jessop: THE DOW IS OVER 50,000…
Jessop: you want answers?!
Kaffee: I want the truth!!
Jessop: THE DOW IS OVER 50,000…
February 12, 2026 at 12:39 PM
Kaffee: Colonel Jessop did you order the code Red?
Jessop: you want answers?!
Kaffee: I want the truth!!
Jessop: THE DOW IS OVER 50,000…
Jessop: you want answers?!
Kaffee: I want the truth!!
Jessop: THE DOW IS OVER 50,000…
Reposted by Darren Elmore
1. It was not an accident.
2. It was not a staffer.
3. While the president may have dementia his racism is not due to dementia.
4. He isn’t sorry. He means every racist thought he shares.
5. His base agrees with him.
6. He will do it again.
7. No one in power will hold him accountable.
2. It was not a staffer.
3. While the president may have dementia his racism is not due to dementia.
4. He isn’t sorry. He means every racist thought he shares.
5. His base agrees with him.
6. He will do it again.
7. No one in power will hold him accountable.
February 6, 2026 at 5:42 PM
1. It was not an accident.
2. It was not a staffer.
3. While the president may have dementia his racism is not due to dementia.
4. He isn’t sorry. He means every racist thought he shares.
5. His base agrees with him.
6. He will do it again.
7. No one in power will hold him accountable.
2. It was not a staffer.
3. While the president may have dementia his racism is not due to dementia.
4. He isn’t sorry. He means every racist thought he shares.
5. His base agrees with him.
6. He will do it again.
7. No one in power will hold him accountable.
So that’s why everything is so sticky or crunchy here.
December 4, 2025 at 5:34 AM
So that’s why everything is so sticky or crunchy here.
Settle a bet for me…
Give my bookie $50,000
Give my bookie $50,000
December 4, 2025 at 5:12 AM
Settle a bet for me…
Give my bookie $50,000
Give my bookie $50,000
Stranger Things season 5, IT: Welcome to Derry, The Trump administration…strong year for demons terrorizing children.
December 2, 2025 at 2:49 AM
Stranger Things season 5, IT: Welcome to Derry, The Trump administration…strong year for demons terrorizing children.
Hell is empty and all the devils are here
December 2, 2025 at 2:20 AM
Hell is empty and all the devils are here
That’s a no for me dawg.
November 14, 2025 at 2:14 AM
That’s a no for me dawg.
Anyone who is threatening or harassing Isiah Kiner-Falefa, Trevor Hoffman or Shane Bieber, or their families for not winning the World Series should be forced to take part in an MLB skills competition against current All-Stars, broadcast for free all over the world for everyone to laugh at.
November 4, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Anyone who is threatening or harassing Isiah Kiner-Falefa, Trevor Hoffman or Shane Bieber, or their families for not winning the World Series should be forced to take part in an MLB skills competition against current All-Stars, broadcast for free all over the world for everyone to laugh at.
What’s it like inside your head?
October 24, 2025 at 12:18 AM
What’s it like inside your head?
To be fair, Trump destroying the White House saves us Canadians the trouble of having to do it for a second time.
October 21, 2025 at 9:52 PM
To be fair, Trump destroying the White House saves us Canadians the trouble of having to do it for a second time.
I would have attended a No Kings rally here in Sussex, New Brunswick but it would have just been me walking around town yelling at people.
And that’s our Pride parade.
And that’s our Pride parade.
October 18, 2025 at 11:20 PM
I would have attended a No Kings rally here in Sussex, New Brunswick but it would have just been me walking around town yelling at people.
And that’s our Pride parade.
And that’s our Pride parade.
If I'm being brutally honest, 90% of the reason I'm taking Norwegian on Duolingo has been for this precise moment.
The other 10% is so I can find out if black metal bands are writing songs about me.
The other 10% is so I can find out if black metal bands are writing songs about me.
October 15, 2025 at 11:20 PM
If I'm being brutally honest, 90% of the reason I'm taking Norwegian on Duolingo has been for this precise moment.
The other 10% is so I can find out if black metal bands are writing songs about me.
The other 10% is so I can find out if black metal bands are writing songs about me.
I’m watching the scariest horror movie I’ve seen in a long time- no, wait…it’s still on the Jays game
October 14, 2025 at 12:04 AM
I’m watching the scariest horror movie I’ve seen in a long time- no, wait…it’s still on the Jays game
Last night I had a dream in which I kneed Kathy Griffin in the box and she shit her pants.
Your move, Dr. Freud.
Your move, Dr. Freud.
October 13, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Last night I had a dream in which I kneed Kathy Griffin in the box and she shit her pants.
Your move, Dr. Freud.
Your move, Dr. Freud.
Cool…I could use a new 69 friend
October 11, 2025 at 5:12 AM
Cool…I could use a new 69 friend
Circumcisions might cause autism but they severely reduce the rates of freaky looking cranks so it’s a fair trade.
October 11, 2025 at 2:27 AM
Circumcisions might cause autism but they severely reduce the rates of freaky looking cranks so it’s a fair trade.
@wendymolyneux.bsky.social I just heard about the Great North ending and I want to thank you for creating such a wonderful show. I’ll be rewatching it forever!
October 5, 2025 at 9:53 PM
@wendymolyneux.bsky.social I just heard about the Great North ending and I want to thank you for creating such a wonderful show. I’ll be rewatching it forever!
A guy on Grindr sent me a dick pic that I call Ari Aster. It was weirdly scary, there was some head trauma and it leaned to the right.
September 17, 2025 at 2:09 AM
A guy on Grindr sent me a dick pic that I call Ari Aster. It was weirdly scary, there was some head trauma and it leaned to the right.
Hey America, you’re terrifying the neighbours again. Please stop.
September 10, 2025 at 10:20 PM
Hey America, you’re terrifying the neighbours again. Please stop.
I still feel like, in light of recent trends, Jello Biafra and the Dead Kennedys owe an apology to Jerry Brown.
September 2, 2025 at 11:16 PM
I still feel like, in light of recent trends, Jello Biafra and the Dead Kennedys owe an apology to Jerry Brown.
*unzips pants^ well alright then…
July 25, 2025 at 10:56 PM
*unzips pants^ well alright then…
The Melania Trump Opera House sounds like one of those Halloween haunted houses where the players are allowed to slap the guests.
July 25, 2025 at 10:54 PM
The Melania Trump Opera House sounds like one of those Halloween haunted houses where the players are allowed to slap the guests.
New drinking game: Watch or read a bunch of Trump speeches and chug every time he says "like never before" or "like you've never seen". You win when alcohol poisoning frees you from this cursed timeline.
July 25, 2025 at 6:21 PM
New drinking game: Watch or read a bunch of Trump speeches and chug every time he says "like never before" or "like you've never seen". You win when alcohol poisoning frees you from this cursed timeline.
Donald Trump is on Jeffrey Epstein's list and JD Vance is on Ethan Allen's list.
July 23, 2025 at 10:44 PM
Donald Trump is on Jeffrey Epstein's list and JD Vance is on Ethan Allen's list.
I give great space
July 22, 2025 at 10:01 PM
I give great space