The Daily Davester (satire)
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Snap elections would be great.
Just imagining Elon trying to quickly get $300 million out of an ATM.
Just imagining Elon trying to quickly get $300 million out of an ATM.
April 28, 2025 at 6:56 PM
Snap elections would be great.
Just imagining Elon trying to quickly get $300 million out of an ATM.
Just imagining Elon trying to quickly get $300 million out of an ATM.
"Strategic Uncertainty" is the new way to call someone a "Complete Moron."
April 27, 2025 at 9:43 PM
"Strategic Uncertainty" is the new way to call someone a "Complete Moron."
Facilitate? Trump couldn't facilitate the ordering of a Big Mac with no pickles.
April 24, 2025 at 1:48 PM
Facilitate? Trump couldn't facilitate the ordering of a Big Mac with no pickles.
It's kinda sad when your thumb doesn't go up as high as it used to.
April 18, 2025 at 12:02 PM
It's kinda sad when your thumb doesn't go up as high as it used to.
If panic attacks were always deductible, I could've paid a total of $0 in federal taxes every year since the 90s. Like Trump.
April 15, 2025 at 11:14 AM
If panic attacks were always deductible, I could've paid a total of $0 in federal taxes every year since the 90s. Like Trump.
I'm sorry, but we're so far gone that Jon lightly poking fun at this evil is just not funny. There's no comedy in this anymore; it's moved into the tragedy category. And is getting worse by the day.
April 15, 2025 at 6:27 AM
I'm sorry, but we're so far gone that Jon lightly poking fun at this evil is just not funny. There's no comedy in this anymore; it's moved into the tragedy category. And is getting worse by the day.
What Trump hates 2nd most: people with morals.
April 9, 2025 at 10:32 AM
What Trump hates 2nd most: people with morals.
By the end of today, my retirement account will have enough money for 12 wonderful days of retirement. So I've got that goin' for me.
April 7, 2025 at 12:57 PM
By the end of today, my retirement account will have enough money for 12 wonderful days of retirement. So I've got that goin' for me.
The best financial advice he could've given his clients is, don't vote for Trump.
April 7, 2025 at 12:23 PM
The best financial advice he could've given his clients is, don't vote for Trump.
It was hard enough going to school when my worst fear was the thorny hall monitor.
April 7, 2025 at 12:19 PM
It was hard enough going to school when my worst fear was the thorny hall monitor.
This doesn't include the voices already in his head.
April 7, 2025 at 12:14 PM
This doesn't include the voices already in his head.
If he could also talk to a good therapist, that'd be fantastic.
April 7, 2025 at 12:03 PM
If he could also talk to a good therapist, that'd be fantastic.
If you have a phobia about seeing dark red arrows pointing downwards, today might be a good day to turn off everything and read a good book.
April 7, 2025 at 12:02 PM
If you have a phobia about seeing dark red arrows pointing downwards, today might be a good day to turn off everything and read a good book.
If you have a phobia about seeing dark red arrows pointing downwards, today might be a good day to turn off everything and read a good book.
April 7, 2025 at 11:59 AM
If you have a phobia about seeing dark red arrows pointing downwards, today might be a good day to turn off everything and read a good book.
If you have a phobia about seeing dark red arrows pointing downwards, today would be a good day to turn off everything and read a good book.
April 7, 2025 at 11:57 AM
If you have a phobia about seeing dark red arrows pointing downwards, today would be a good day to turn off everything and read a good book.
Elon will soon be wearing an item of clothing that reads, "I laid off a million federal workers and all I got was a bankrupt car company and this t-shirt."
April 3, 2025 at 8:26 AM
Elon will soon be wearing an item of clothing that reads, "I laid off a million federal workers and all I got was a bankrupt car company and this t-shirt."
Would love to see Elon duct taped to one of his SpaceX rockets and sent to Mars. Then he can buy elections there.
April 1, 2025 at 2:41 PM
Would love to see Elon duct taped to one of his SpaceX rockets and sent to Mars. Then he can buy elections there.
Wondering how many 5-Hour Energy bottles he managed to cram into his suit coat.
April 1, 2025 at 2:30 PM
Wondering how many 5-Hour Energy bottles he managed to cram into his suit coat.
I wouldn't trust JD Vance to give me honest directions to the end of the block.
April 1, 2025 at 6:07 AM
I wouldn't trust JD Vance to give me honest directions to the end of the block.
I love it. And it just made me realize why I suddenly stopped buying oranges in 2016.
March 31, 2025 at 11:14 PM
I love it. And it just made me realize why I suddenly stopped buying oranges in 2016.
That said, those ex-wives are not fans of his "trick shots."
March 30, 2025 at 6:20 PM
That said, those ex-wives are not fans of his "trick shots."
He doesn't have anywhere near the lure that Trump has with MAGAs, and a lot of 'em don't trust him. If Trump keeled over from a heart attack from all that fast food, those conspiracy nuts would blame JD Vance -- because, of course -- so it would be easier for R's in Congress to go against him.
March 30, 2025 at 5:47 PM
He doesn't have anywhere near the lure that Trump has with MAGAs, and a lot of 'em don't trust him. If Trump keeled over from a heart attack from all that fast food, those conspiracy nuts would blame JD Vance -- because, of course -- so it would be easier for R's in Congress to go against him.