6/6 - i hope you guys are all taking care of yourselves. remember there is always a healthier way to make a change. please don't put yourself in danger. its not worth it— it sounds dramatic and glamorous but i promise its not worth it. see you around ♡

5/6 - so... ill keep this account for a while but i might repurpose it later. turn it into something else. a vent account or something, maybe. i just cant keep hurting myself.
this week ive been sicker than ive ever been in my life and i cant do this anymore. i have to make a change.

4/6 - maybe when i have my degree, once ive moved out of this awful house, when im settled somewhere safe... maybe ill want to come back. i dont think ill ever stop wanting that body. but i cannot keep doing this to myself. getting out of here is more important. my future is more important.

3/6 - next semester is going to be busy for a lot of reasons. i cant keep getting sick, failing classes, and for what? to look skinnier? in front of a hundred other 20-something nerdy guys at college? they don't care. and i don't care about them. i care about me, my friends, my life, my health.

2/6 - im at a nice, low weight, but it's not dangerously low. i like my body to a degree, and i think if i built up more muscle i would actually be happy. but the thing is, you need energy in order to work out. and starving saps that out of me. it saps my body, my brain. i cant afford that anymore.

1/6 - i might abandon this account for a while. ive realized that every time i starve myself for an extended period of time, i end up getting really sick and my body starts just shutting down and i dont think i can afford to keep it up right now.

hello long time no see guys. i went to visit friends and then got incredibly sick lol

its been a c&s day which is cool but i rly wish it wasnt cold so i could go outside. i say that like i havent been doing homework at my desk all day

the struggle of "number will go down if i shit i just know it" vs cant shit bc not eating enough

i WAS getting back into skating but its so cold and i am not good with cold :( i wish there was ice skating nearby bc i rly rly wanna learn it too

last winter i spent all my free time working on a project to the point where i wasnt sleeping or eating and godddd i need that again. i was con crunching and there's no con this year so. idk what to do over winter break :/

basically being skinny isnt enough i need you to gasp when i take off my hoodie

i hate being at a weight where my friends call me skinny but to tell them theyre wrong would sound stupid and mean

fast day letsgooooo

cannot even think about recovery until im skinnyyy !

umm anyway if youre one of the first ppl ive followed, i promise im not a bot 😭 i finally decided to put this side acct to use and i gotta find ppl to follow 🙏

hoo i was going to use this as an alt later but errrmm. is there an edtwt equivalent here...? not that i was rly on edtwt but i would like to be able to talk & joke abt this stuff without triggering my friends LOL