Damn it. I wasn't planning to buy this jersey but...I think I'm going to have to.

At least we get to keep Ned and Phil, right? We’re so screwed…

Yeah—can’t wait to spend money reliving the wildcard game experience from last season. Only this time WITHOUT an MVP-caliber player on the pitch.

Fuck. That’s all I can say about that.

This is where I shout “Rose City Till I Die!” while patiently waiting for my Timbers to, like, do something.

Ran into a guy in Tokyo wearing a goddamned Seattle Sounders jersey. This trip is already ruined!

Your use of “all agree” is hilarious.

We look really, really bad. Against a really, really, really bad team no less.

Realtors are coming out of the woodwork, huh?

Half time and not a single fucking shot? Jesus.