Commander Quinoa
@commanderquinoa.bsky.social
Keith, bird law enthusiast, inclined toward misanthropy, recovering pedant, frequent football watcher. Recently moved to Tavira, Portugal. Was @goongrief at the old place. Huskers, Pitt, Steelers
The escape vehicle had a giant “S” on each door, the hood, and the trunk. It fled the scene with overwhelming haste. Eye witnesses said of the scene “wow, look at that S car go”
November 27, 2025 at 9:46 PM
The escape vehicle had a giant “S” on each door, the hood, and the trunk. It fled the scene with overwhelming haste. Eye witnesses said of the scene “wow, look at that S car go”
Just bring a few ziplocks with you to the school dinner. No one is going to have the heart to stop you if you just start filling your pocket baggies with stuffing.
November 27, 2025 at 3:12 PM
Just bring a few ziplocks with you to the school dinner. No one is going to have the heart to stop you if you just start filling your pocket baggies with stuffing.
I'm not sure my wife will be inclined to give me more turkey after you and I break up in front of her.... but it's worth a shot.
November 27, 2025 at 9:37 AM
I'm not sure my wife will be inclined to give me more turkey after you and I break up in front of her.... but it's worth a shot.
My pitch is to lean into the situation and name the new show "After the Horn Blows"
November 26, 2025 at 2:39 PM
My pitch is to lean into the situation and name the new show "After the Horn Blows"
We're doing thanksgiving small this year so I am only making sweet potato casserole, mashed potatoes, and pecan pie.
November 26, 2025 at 1:41 PM
We're doing thanksgiving small this year so I am only making sweet potato casserole, mashed potatoes, and pecan pie.
It’s been a decade now of him “developing a plan” for health care. Yet the closest he’s come up with thus far is angry tweets about Cracker Barrel’s logo.
November 25, 2025 at 9:34 AM
It’s been a decade now of him “developing a plan” for health care. Yet the closest he’s come up with thus far is angry tweets about Cracker Barrel’s logo.
I spent too long wondering "what does he mean by 'goon then?'"
November 22, 2025 at 10:06 AM
I spent too long wondering "what does he mean by 'goon then?'"
You know there was one creep at the NHTSA who’s been desperately hoping for years they would put some boobs on the crash test dummies. Well, today’s your day Glenn. Please use some disinfectant wipes when you’re done.
November 21, 2025 at 10:14 AM
You know there was one creep at the NHTSA who’s been desperately hoping for years they would put some boobs on the crash test dummies. Well, today’s your day Glenn. Please use some disinfectant wipes when you’re done.
The dude threatened federal prosecutions for weeks because an escalator stopped and he had to go up a flight of stairs manually.
November 20, 2025 at 12:15 AM
The dude threatened federal prosecutions for weeks because an escalator stopped and he had to go up a flight of stairs manually.
Being told I’m a menace worthy of a warning from this federal government is absolutely the highlight of my month. Thank you.
November 19, 2025 at 8:43 PM
Being told I’m a menace worthy of a warning from this federal government is absolutely the highlight of my month. Thank you.
My advice: If you take it straight from the freezer and toss it into the fryer there’s no opportunity for bacteria to grow on the turkey. Safer and faster!
November 19, 2025 at 8:33 PM
My advice: If you take it straight from the freezer and toss it into the fryer there’s no opportunity for bacteria to grow on the turkey. Safer and faster!
Nah. Lawyers get way more billables when their clients are digging holes for them than when they are just quietly drinking coffee at home.
November 18, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Nah. Lawyers get way more billables when their clients are digging holes for them than when they are just quietly drinking coffee at home.
“Turns out the one on the back of the toll house bag has it dead to rights. Absolute perfection. Probably should have started there”
November 16, 2025 at 10:07 PM
“Turns out the one on the back of the toll house bag has it dead to rights. Absolute perfection. Probably should have started there”
You’re going to have to hear that awful “now I’m a believer” cover an awful lot
November 16, 2025 at 9:54 PM
You’re going to have to hear that awful “now I’m a believer” cover an awful lot
I actually get to chat with John soon as I’m going to be maximum funs member of the month. I’m very excited to chat with the deranged man who has named so many of America’s top hobos over the years.
November 16, 2025 at 9:50 PM
I actually get to chat with John soon as I’m going to be maximum funs member of the month. I’m very excited to chat with the deranged man who has named so many of America’s top hobos over the years.
Hoegies and ice wader
November 15, 2025 at 12:12 AM
Hoegies and ice wader
Nah, I’m not giving him that praise. To be a great dick sucker you need to care about making someone else feel good
November 15, 2025 at 12:09 AM
Nah, I’m not giving him that praise. To be a great dick sucker you need to care about making someone else feel good
Ah man. It’s too bad he didn’t hit 3000 hours right as the sand ran out on the Taskmaster Podcast
November 15, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Ah man. It’s too bad he didn’t hit 3000 hours right as the sand ran out on the Taskmaster Podcast
President Short Eyes will have a few of his followers feign frustration and disappointment but they'll get over it. They have already made a mockery of the moral code they once followed, they aren't about to leave the team just cause he's a child rapist. He's THEIR child rapist
November 14, 2025 at 6:43 PM
President Short Eyes will have a few of his followers feign frustration and disappointment but they'll get over it. They have already made a mockery of the moral code they once followed, they aren't about to leave the team just cause he's a child rapist. He's THEIR child rapist
They will send some emails soliciting donations. Does that count?
November 13, 2025 at 12:28 AM
They will send some emails soliciting donations. Does that count?
