Were you using your glasses as some kind of makeshift fork?
February 10, 2026 at 11:22 PM
Were you using your glasses as some kind of makeshift fork?
Also take your outdoor shoes off at the front door when entering a house. 😂
February 3, 2026 at 10:13 PM
Also take your outdoor shoes off at the front door when entering a house. 😂
So even Smarties don’t have the answer.
January 23, 2026 at 10:59 PM
So even Smarties don’t have the answer.
I remember when background images were first supported in a browser (Netscape) people went wild with the possibilities. There were some hideous tiled image efforts around the web which made it almost impossible to read the text.
January 23, 2026 at 10:47 PM
I remember when background images were first supported in a browser (Netscape) people went wild with the possibilities. There were some hideous tiled image efforts around the web which made it almost impossible to read the text.
Why put a bakery product in a bedside drawer in the first place?
January 20, 2026 at 10:05 PM
Why put a bakery product in a bedside drawer in the first place?
It would cost you about the same for the train from Stansted into London if you flew.
January 14, 2026 at 9:27 PM
It would cost you about the same for the train from Stansted into London if you flew.
Also a law against squeezing wrapped chocolates to work out which are the soft centres.
January 12, 2026 at 6:13 AM
Also a law against squeezing wrapped chocolates to work out which are the soft centres.
Huskerdu could be the name of a lamp in Ikea.
January 12, 2026 at 6:11 AM
Huskerdu could be the name of a lamp in Ikea.
Back in the ‘90s I had to install some hardware in the office of the CEO of a big UK tech company. He had a huge yearly planner on the wall and the only entry was “Wimbledon men’s final”.
January 11, 2026 at 5:12 AM
Back in the ‘90s I had to install some hardware in the office of the CEO of a big UK tech company. He had a huge yearly planner on the wall and the only entry was “Wimbledon men’s final”.
The reason they put them in the bath is to clean out their guts as in the wild they eat all the shit at the bottom of the river.
January 10, 2026 at 2:29 PM
The reason they put them in the bath is to clean out their guts as in the wild they eat all the shit at the bottom of the river.
This makes zero sense.
January 10, 2026 at 12:07 PM
This makes zero sense.
Jesus of course famous for having been nailed with his chin to the cross.
January 6, 2026 at 2:01 PM
Jesus of course famous for having been nailed with his chin to the cross.
In Germany the wave is a rarity, only received if you let the other driver through in a 50-50 situation. Although they are also likely not to wave and just glare at you in disdain for your weakness.
December 30, 2025 at 4:02 AM
In Germany the wave is a rarity, only received if you let the other driver through in a 50-50 situation. Although they are also likely not to wave and just glare at you in disdain for your weakness.
Taxi for Fesshole.
December 5, 2025 at 9:56 PM
Taxi for Fesshole.
Barras Market in Glasgow for me. Although one time they refused to serve me as I had shiny new DM boots on and they thought I was an undercover cop.
December 2, 2025 at 5:28 PM
Barras Market in Glasgow for me. Although one time they refused to serve me as I had shiny new DM boots on and they thought I was an undercover cop.
A crispy sweet potato fry is rarer than hens’ teeth.
December 2, 2025 at 5:14 PM
A crispy sweet potato fry is rarer than hens’ teeth.
Get out of it by pretending to have a terminal disease.
November 25, 2025 at 5:31 PM
Get out of it by pretending to have a terminal disease.
Probably should pop down to the docs yourself.
November 25, 2025 at 8:21 AM
Probably should pop down to the docs yourself.
Is he watching VHS tapes? Porn hasn’t had music for decades. So I’ve been told.
November 22, 2025 at 10:25 PM
Is he watching VHS tapes? Porn hasn’t had music for decades. So I’ve been told.
Giving all village idiots the ability to easily network was never going to end well.
November 18, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Giving all village idiots the ability to easily network was never going to end well.
What about cock and balls?
November 16, 2025 at 10:12 PM
What about cock and balls?
Thought Bez had had a sex change for a minute.
November 6, 2025 at 10:19 PM
Thought Bez had had a sex change for a minute.
Bound to be raining.
November 3, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Bound to be raining.