Blackmail is such a dirty word. I prefer extortion.

Alpine dairy maid with the hair, Florida meth with the finger tattoos.

I'll be first to say it: fuck VANOS.

I have two sons. Can I write off $300,000 in losses since they both have penises that were created in my wife's uterus?

I balk at $2 for guac at Chipotle, but this does seem worth it.

I'm sorta glad they also live rent free in your brain because they have been doing that in my brain since about 2004.

I 3d printed ones few years ago and am still currently dead.

Wow, those are so amazing! The shading and lighting and the grain all make me feel like I'm a kid in the 80s looking at a comic or graphic novel.

She's supplanting Baghdad Bob as well.

This looks weirdly like me at that date. I'd be 20 and still had hair and a bit of a goatee but no mustache.

I quite enjoyed giving overly condescending information about how "sexual dimorphism in many mammals doesn't start to become noticeable until sexual maturity, but if this is your first time around humans, I understand."

Seriously though, this is the only thing I'm replying with when people ask me what I want.

I kinda hope I end up with five legs.

Let's all do some laps around the airport so our shoes get covered in sour grass, our socks are soaked with sweat, and the rest of us is pretty musty. Then we all cram in to close spaces for two hours.

It'd be just like middle school classes after PE!

Last time I inquired, my insurance wouldn't cover it as entirely preventative screening before age 45; only if I showed some early signs (bleeding, constipation, etc.) or if it was a first degree relative (parent, sibling, child).

I turn 45 in about eight months!