@ciciiiiish.bsky.social
Pinned
hi i am cici, i like to play video games and write stuff
today, i decide to share my life (not entirely) because i have been a lurker and private person which is a good thing as most people say and i could just talk to someone about whats been going on but i dont have that person anymore and -
today, i decide to share my life (not entirely) because i have been a lurker and private person which is a good thing as most people say and i could just talk to someone about whats been going on but i dont have that person anymore and -
i gotta be positive for my friends, they're going through in depressed state again
January 29, 2026 at 5:12 AM
i gotta be positive for my friends, they're going through in depressed state again
my body hurts
January 29, 2026 at 4:58 AM
my body hurts
I cried to sleep, woke up for class, realized my classes switched up, might sleep again
January 29, 2026 at 1:50 AM
I cried to sleep, woke up for class, realized my classes switched up, might sleep again
FUCKING VALENTINES DAY IS LIKE 2 WEEKS AND 2 DAYS AWAY TOO, WHAT IF HE ASKS HER OUT, OR ANY GIRL, FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFCUKF THIS JEALOUSY AND INSECURITY IS DRIVING ME FUCKING INSANE, HE CONFIDENTLY EVEN SAYS "WE ARE NOT TOGETHER ANYWAY" SO BASICALLY HE HAS SOMEONE NOW- SHAHAHAHAWHZJAN
i am fckin cryinh
i am fckin cryinh
January 28, 2026 at 9:36 PM
FUCKING VALENTINES DAY IS LIKE 2 WEEKS AND 2 DAYS AWAY TOO, WHAT IF HE ASKS HER OUT, OR ANY GIRL, FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFCUKF THIS JEALOUSY AND INSECURITY IS DRIVING ME FUCKING INSANE, HE CONFIDENTLY EVEN SAYS "WE ARE NOT TOGETHER ANYWAY" SO BASICALLY HE HAS SOMEONE NOW- SHAHAHAHAWHZJAN
i am fckin cryinh
i am fckin cryinh
like the girl he followed on instagram before deactivating it was ticking off all of the boxes on the ideal girl he likes, like, i already fucking lost dude, i dont know how to do make up, i don't know how to dress right, i am not pretty, i am fucking average and messed up
January 28, 2026 at 9:32 PM
like the girl he followed on instagram before deactivating it was ticking off all of the boxes on the ideal girl he likes, like, i already fucking lost dude, i dont know how to do make up, i don't know how to dress right, i am not pretty, i am fucking average and messed up
i hate overthinking dude, it sends me to a panic attack
January 28, 2026 at 9:26 PM
i hate overthinking dude, it sends me to a panic attack
why do i expect him to send me a message or anything at all, he chose to block me which means he doesnt want to interact with me ever again
January 28, 2026 at 8:36 PM
why do i expect him to send me a message or anything at all, he chose to block me which means he doesnt want to interact with me ever again
though I have been offline for days, it will continue on with how off my schedule is
January 28, 2026 at 12:27 PM
though I have been offline for days, it will continue on with how off my schedule is
I would be fine if my friends find out this account and smack my head several times then get an earful yelling and reality check, but if he is the one who finds out? kms
January 28, 2026 at 12:20 PM
I would be fine if my friends find out this account and smack my head several times then get an earful yelling and reality check, but if he is the one who finds out? kms
i am starting to think the coincidences are not coincidences
first time, i was yapping i miss him and worry about him then he reacted to my messages with a thumbs up
second time, feeling like an idiot on checking his profile often knowing i am blocked but an hour later i figured out i am unblocked
first time, i was yapping i miss him and worry about him then he reacted to my messages with a thumbs up
second time, feeling like an idiot on checking his profile often knowing i am blocked but an hour later i figured out i am unblocked
January 28, 2026 at 12:18 PM
i am starting to think the coincidences are not coincidences
first time, i was yapping i miss him and worry about him then he reacted to my messages with a thumbs up
second time, feeling like an idiot on checking his profile often knowing i am blocked but an hour later i figured out i am unblocked
first time, i was yapping i miss him and worry about him then he reacted to my messages with a thumbs up
second time, feeling like an idiot on checking his profile often knowing i am blocked but an hour later i figured out i am unblocked
told my friend about it,, they said whwt if he plans to message me as for closure and farewell?
i said if the first to three sentences makes me cry, i am not reading it
i said if the first to three sentences makes me cry, i am not reading it
January 28, 2026 at 12:14 PM
told my friend about it,, they said whwt if he plans to message me as for closure and farewell?
i said if the first to three sentences makes me cry, i am not reading it
i said if the first to three sentences makes me cry, i am not reading it
cant get my hopes up, what if he is just checking my profile? because he's lazy to unblock it every time to look?
January 28, 2026 at 4:42 AM
cant get my hopes up, what if he is just checking my profile? because he's lazy to unblock it every time to look?
he unblocked me?
January 28, 2026 at 4:41 AM
he unblocked me?
I feel such a fool on checking our dms every so often, expecting him to say something, but it's been 3 days, soon enough it will be a week
January 28, 2026 at 3:55 AM
I feel such a fool on checking our dms every so often, expecting him to say something, but it's been 3 days, soon enough it will be a week
i imagined today on what if he returned, talked about how we, WE will repair the relationship and it made me extremely happy but a sudden urge to be aggressive like biting him came up
it made me tear up a bit because I am starting to feed into my own delusions
it made me tear up a bit because I am starting to feed into my own delusions
January 27, 2026 at 8:59 PM
i imagined today on what if he returned, talked about how we, WE will repair the relationship and it made me extremely happy but a sudden urge to be aggressive like biting him came up
it made me tear up a bit because I am starting to feed into my own delusions
it made me tear up a bit because I am starting to feed into my own delusions
at least he is happy now right?
January 27, 2026 at 9:59 AM
at least he is happy now right?
i want to be around his warmth again, i wanted to keep fighting for us, i really wanted to, but i cant take the constant punishment loop
January 27, 2026 at 8:18 AM
i want to be around his warmth again, i wanted to keep fighting for us, i really wanted to, but i cant take the constant punishment loop
this emptiness in my heart its fucking driving me crazy that I just want to disappear from everything
January 27, 2026 at 8:09 AM
this emptiness in my heart its fucking driving me crazy that I just want to disappear from everything
I dont think he is, why would he, I am nothing to him now
January 27, 2026 at 8:08 AM
I dont think he is, why would he, I am nothing to him now
watching him go online on messenger, makes it questionable that if he is checking if I am online or not
January 27, 2026 at 1:14 AM
watching him go online on messenger, makes it questionable that if he is checking if I am online or not
i fucking miss him
January 26, 2026 at 4:55 PM
i fucking miss him
i just want to go back in time, make everything right, perfect
January 26, 2026 at 4:54 PM
i just want to go back in time, make everything right, perfect
i feel so mixed up, i want to go and try to communicate with him again, beg for him to stay, but that will be disrespecting me
January 26, 2026 at 4:52 PM
i feel so mixed up, i want to go and try to communicate with him again, beg for him to stay, but that will be disrespecting me
he doesnt miss me
he doesnt care about me
he doesnt love me
if he does he would have
if he does he could have
if he does, idfk
he doesnt care about me
he doesnt love me
if he does he would have
if he does he could have
if he does, idfk
January 26, 2026 at 4:51 PM
he doesnt miss me
he doesnt care about me
he doesnt love me
if he does he would have
if he does he could have
if he does, idfk
he doesnt care about me
he doesnt love me
if he does he would have
if he does he could have
if he does, idfk
i cried for a bit and fell asleep, just woke up now because my neighbors were screaming at each other again
January 26, 2026 at 11:05 AM
i cried for a bit and fell asleep, just woke up now because my neighbors were screaming at each other again