(Of course, this is before getting into all the other significant issues tied to the matter -- e.g. most of this snake oil is stolen goods btw, and also the act of procuring it happens to destroy the environment, and so on)

To me the situation largely feels like a case of such-and-such snake oil is legitimately useful for perhaps two or three specific ailments, but is being sold as a cure-all for a million other illnesses (or "illnesses" as is more often the case).

Get melon pan at some point, whatever you do

Somehow Steve Rogers returned

Now realizing I ought to have tried this first: looking at the (strange) official music video for the song. It's that translation in the closed captions.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOsm...

Tangentially, the best way to make a cool action scene even cooler is to have it all happening on a fast-moving train

It's from 1:01 to 1:16... The animation really cooked at that part, ha ha. They didn't have to go that hard but they did, for Ludger

IDK which translation is the most accurate, but this one felt the most "poetic" to me, I suppose. It's this bit in particular I like:

What was it? Who was it?
That made you decide that somehow
You could try to move forward once more

Ah, I finally found it, after like 20 minutes of searching 😩

So it was an English translation of lyrics for a Tales game opening that I was searching for. I kept finding different translations from the one I wanted. But it's this ("Song 4 U" from Tales of Xillia 2)
www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/ayumi...

Bummer! So probably simpler to just make your own fake Redbox with, idk a raspberry pi or something. Maybe we can get an Etsy up to make them in 2040-45(?) for peak nostalgia profits