@cassandrayorgey.bsky.social
Parrots, immediately after their human sweeps the floor.
July 14, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Parrots, immediately after their human sweeps the floor.
Government so small it fits directly in your vagina?
Imagine my surprise when I picked up a freelance writing assignment about Walmart deals and was greeted with this warning when looking at an ACCENT CHAIR.
🧵/
Imagine my surprise when I picked up a freelance writing assignment about Walmart deals and was greeted with this warning when looking at an ACCENT CHAIR.
🧵/
July 9, 2025 at 10:33 PM
Government so small it fits directly in your vagina?
Imagine my surprise when I picked up a freelance writing assignment about Walmart deals and was greeted with this warning when looking at an ACCENT CHAIR.
🧵/
Imagine my surprise when I picked up a freelance writing assignment about Walmart deals and was greeted with this warning when looking at an ACCENT CHAIR.
🧵/
Nobody will ever rock harder than these guys, and the mouse Charles E. Cheese has never been brought to account for their tragic disappearance.
April 30, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Nobody will ever rock harder than these guys, and the mouse Charles E. Cheese has never been brought to account for their tragic disappearance.
This started out life as a 8.5" x 6" bamboo cutting board, but then I slathered it with acrylic paint.
April 29, 2025 at 3:11 PM
This started out life as a 8.5" x 6" bamboo cutting board, but then I slathered it with acrylic paint.
Happy Face (Paramount)
What happens to the children of serial killers? The hunt to find the bad guy gets all the glory, but Happy Face flips the perspective and follows the grown daughter of a famous serial killer who discovers an innocent man is on death’s row for one of her father’s crimes.
🧵/
What happens to the children of serial killers? The hunt to find the bad guy gets all the glory, but Happy Face flips the perspective and follows the grown daughter of a famous serial killer who discovers an innocent man is on death’s row for one of her father’s crimes.
🧵/
April 19, 2025 at 3:37 PM
Happy Face (Paramount)
What happens to the children of serial killers? The hunt to find the bad guy gets all the glory, but Happy Face flips the perspective and follows the grown daughter of a famous serial killer who discovers an innocent man is on death’s row for one of her father’s crimes.
🧵/
What happens to the children of serial killers? The hunt to find the bad guy gets all the glory, but Happy Face flips the perspective and follows the grown daughter of a famous serial killer who discovers an innocent man is on death’s row for one of her father’s crimes.
🧵/
Memory unlocked.
April 15, 2025 at 1:10 PM
Memory unlocked.
This gif was playing in my head the whole time I was reading the article. I feel like you need to ask yourself "What is the funniest possible thing I could do with this weird new superpower?" and then do that.
April 4, 2025 at 2:23 PM
This gif was playing in my head the whole time I was reading the article. I feel like you need to ask yourself "What is the funniest possible thing I could do with this weird new superpower?" and then do that.
Wait, wait, it gets worse:
February 15, 2025 at 3:46 PM
Wait, wait, it gets worse:
PETE DAVIDSON, YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOUR VERY PARTICULAR SET OF SKILLS.
February 14, 2025 at 10:08 PM
PETE DAVIDSON, YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOUR VERY PARTICULAR SET OF SKILLS.
Don't forget to help them improve their accuracy!
February 3, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Don't forget to help them improve their accuracy!
Does anybody else use these? “Fresh scent” apparently means “generic men's deodorant” so every time I open my trashcan the Brain Monkeys™️ shriek “MAN ARMPIT! MAN ARMPIT!” Now, admittedly it's better than getting hit with a whiff of garbage, but I’m now committed to 39 more trash cycles of this.
January 24, 2025 at 2:26 AM
Does anybody else use these? “Fresh scent” apparently means “generic men's deodorant” so every time I open my trashcan the Brain Monkeys™️ shriek “MAN ARMPIT! MAN ARMPIT!” Now, admittedly it's better than getting hit with a whiff of garbage, but I’m now committed to 39 more trash cycles of this.
Y'all can come sit next to me and my 🧱 pile.
January 20, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Y'all can come sit next to me and my 🧱 pile.
Things Americans Should Know (But Probably Don't) About the Internet in China:
January 19, 2025 at 3:09 AM
Things Americans Should Know (But Probably Don't) About the Internet in China:
BRB, gotta go 💩 in some data.
January 18, 2025 at 3:08 PM
BRB, gotta go 💩 in some data.
What a weird way to point out her transphobic views left her surrounded by people who are cool with sexual assault.
January 17, 2025 at 3:04 PM
What a weird way to point out her transphobic views left her surrounded by people who are cool with sexual assault.