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coach
@captaincoach.bsky.social
· Nov 23
it’s right now o’clock
my insecurity is ugly but idk how to make it stop
February 11, 2026 at 5:24 PM
my insecurity is ugly but idk how to make it stop
processing transcripts, listening to zara larson, and entering a flow state
February 5, 2026 at 5:01 PM
processing transcripts, listening to zara larson, and entering a flow state
traits i inherited from my dad:
- tying my self worth to my work performance and/or general productivity
- substance abuse
- adoration of crass comedy
- tax evasion
- tying my self worth to my work performance and/or general productivity
- substance abuse
- adoration of crass comedy
- tax evasion
February 4, 2026 at 10:34 PM
traits i inherited from my dad:
- tying my self worth to my work performance and/or general productivity
- substance abuse
- adoration of crass comedy
- tax evasion
- tying my self worth to my work performance and/or general productivity
- substance abuse
- adoration of crass comedy
- tax evasion
i love being a big ol nasty gal
February 3, 2026 at 10:13 PM
i love being a big ol nasty gal
everyday i wake up and make snackrifices
February 3, 2026 at 9:24 PM
everyday i wake up and make snackrifices
fuck my fucking chungus life
January 29, 2026 at 11:25 PM
fuck my fucking chungus life
fuck trump fuck vance fuck ice fuck pedos fuck fascism fuck fossil fuels fuck fast fashion FFFFFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK
January 9, 2026 at 7:24 PM
fuck trump fuck vance fuck ice fuck pedos fuck fascism fuck fossil fuels fuck fast fashion FFFFFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK
the year is 2036. the iphone 1 billion was just released. it has a feature that jerks you off but the lube is sold separately.
January 8, 2026 at 10:19 PM
the year is 2036. the iphone 1 billion was just released. it has a feature that jerks you off but the lube is sold separately.
my new year’s resolution is to measure once and cut twice
December 30, 2025 at 6:38 PM
my new year’s resolution is to measure once and cut twice
does anyone have access to some local anesthetic that they can shoot into my foot i have a weird thing i need to shave off but it hurts
December 30, 2025 at 6:36 PM
does anyone have access to some local anesthetic that they can shoot into my foot i have a weird thing i need to shave off but it hurts
we never got a one direction christmas album and i’m physically sick i could throw up what a tragedy
December 17, 2025 at 4:17 PM
we never got a one direction christmas album and i’m physically sick i could throw up what a tragedy
my new year’s resolution is to start publicly calling people out for not washing their hands after using the bathroom
December 16, 2025 at 7:37 PM
my new year’s resolution is to start publicly calling people out for not washing their hands after using the bathroom
where my cutie patooties at ?
December 5, 2025 at 8:44 PM
where my cutie patooties at ?
happy “happy thanksgiving, pilgrims” day to those who celebrate
November 27, 2025 at 2:27 PM
happy “happy thanksgiving, pilgrims” day to those who celebrate
at this point graveyards are just goth dog parks
November 25, 2025 at 12:54 PM
at this point graveyards are just goth dog parks
it’s right now o’clock
November 23, 2025 at 5:13 PM
it’s right now o’clock
running errands via automobile rn and i spot 2 alternative peeps walking, one with pink hair and the other with green hair. it took every ounce of self control i have to not roll down the window, point at them, and yell WOOAH WOOAH WOOOOAAAAHHHH WOAH al a keke palmer at the one award show
November 20, 2025 at 5:29 PM
running errands via automobile rn and i spot 2 alternative peeps walking, one with pink hair and the other with green hair. it took every ounce of self control i have to not roll down the window, point at them, and yell WOOAH WOOAH WOOOOAAAAHHHH WOAH al a keke palmer at the one award show
i can forgive a lot of unpleasant personality traits if someone is hard working and reliable
November 17, 2025 at 10:49 PM
i can forgive a lot of unpleasant personality traits if someone is hard working and reliable
in a lyft heading to the consolato generale d’italia singing my heart will go on with my driver don’t txt
November 7, 2025 at 2:37 PM
in a lyft heading to the consolato generale d’italia singing my heart will go on with my driver don’t txt
don’t let your scabs hold you back from reaching your full potential
November 6, 2025 at 8:52 PM
don’t let your scabs hold you back from reaching your full potential
someone put me on a flight to paris im in the mood to curb stomp pick pockets
November 4, 2025 at 9:56 PM
someone put me on a flight to paris im in the mood to curb stomp pick pockets
im a mamdani sun, cuomo moon, and sliwa rising
October 29, 2025 at 10:54 PM
im a mamdani sun, cuomo moon, and sliwa rising
i hate my chungus life
October 23, 2025 at 4:11 PM
i hate my chungus life
i love my chungus life
October 17, 2025 at 8:25 PM
i love my chungus life
sorry im that kind of tired that has been living in my bones for many years and sleep won’t fix
October 10, 2025 at 6:41 PM
sorry im that kind of tired that has been living in my bones for many years and sleep won’t fix