Strangers
@camtarn-strangers.bsky.social
An account which skeets descriptions of people who do not exist.
Not a bot, just a micro creative writing exercise.
Not a bot, just a micro creative writing exercise.
Tina Flower, 56, Grangemouth. Tailoring and alterations. Took in a very old black suit yesterday for a teenager to wear at a funeral. As she tacks its trouser cuffs, she wonders if the suit belonged to the same man the funeral is for.
June 3, 2025 at 8:29 PM
Tina Flower, 56, Grangemouth. Tailoring and alterations. Took in a very old black suit yesterday for a teenager to wear at a funeral. As she tacks its trouser cuffs, she wonders if the suit belonged to the same man the funeral is for.
Johnny Farroukh, 14, Birmingham. Stole an old car last night, with techniques he learned from his uncle. Drove it around the city at 2am, then deliberately crashed, just to see what that was like. Staggered out of the wreck then set it on fire. Threw his notebook of poetry into the rising flames.
June 3, 2025 at 1:45 AM
Johnny Farroukh, 14, Birmingham. Stole an old car last night, with techniques he learned from his uncle. Drove it around the city at 2am, then deliberately crashed, just to see what that was like. Staggered out of the wreck then set it on fire. Threw his notebook of poetry into the rising flames.
Jennifer HuHey you. Yeah, I see you, looking at me through that little floating screen. I'm on a lot of drugs right now, huh? Enough to have me floating up here near the ceiling with you. That's my body down there, opened up on the operating table. Car crash got me right good. Don't go - please don'
June 3, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Jennifer HuHey you. Yeah, I see you, looking at me through that little floating screen. I'm on a lot of drugs right now, huh? Enough to have me floating up here near the ceiling with you. That's my body down there, opened up on the operating table. Car crash got me right good. Don't go - please don'
Female infant, 37 minutes old, Dunbar Hospital, Thurso. One week early, a little below average weight. Tiny, red, wrinkled, asleep. Mum and dad exhausted but beaming with pride. She will be named either Jemima, Keifa, Geraldine or Texas, or maybe Anne, or possibly Mackie, or perhaps Zephyr, or...
June 3, 2025 at 1:22 AM
Female infant, 37 minutes old, Dunbar Hospital, Thurso. One week early, a little below average weight. Tiny, red, wrinkled, asleep. Mum and dad exhausted but beaming with pride. She will be named either Jemima, Keifa, Geraldine or Texas, or maybe Anne, or possibly Mackie, or perhaps Zephyr, or...
John Doe, probably late 50s, Manchester. Found at bottom of elevator shaft in abandoned building. Strong smell of alcohol. Clothes expensive but dirty and torn. No tattoos. Autopsy records fractures consistent with fall from great height. Verdict: death by misadventure.
June 3, 2025 at 1:12 AM
John Doe, probably late 50s, Manchester. Found at bottom of elevator shaft in abandoned building. Strong smell of alcohol. Clothes expensive but dirty and torn. No tattoos. Autopsy records fractures consistent with fall from great height. Verdict: death by misadventure.
Ken Hock, 32, Hull. Pushups. Planks. Squats. Chinups. Deadlift. Warmdown. Post workout shake. Shower. Mirror. Punch wall. Sob.
June 3, 2025 at 1:05 AM
Ken Hock, 32, Hull. Pushups. Planks. Squats. Chinups. Deadlift. Warmdown. Post workout shake. Shower. Mirror. Punch wall. Sob.
Rupesh Bhattacharjee, 76. On a plane between Bangladesh and Luton, a journey he flies at least once a year to see his far-flung grandchildren. His oldest granddaughter Amina is expecting, and he's looking forward to being a great-grandfather. His fingers unconsciously tap out a harmonium melody.
June 3, 2025 at 12:57 AM
Rupesh Bhattacharjee, 76. On a plane between Bangladesh and Luton, a journey he flies at least once a year to see his far-flung grandchildren. His oldest granddaughter Amina is expecting, and he's looking forward to being a great-grandfather. His fingers unconsciously tap out a harmonium melody.
Joey Fuchs, 17, Glasgow. Trying to explain being non-binary to their friends in the boxing gym. They are polite but absolutely don't get it. But they respect Joey's work ethic and wicked right hook, and they're trying their best with pronouns. Two of them are working up the courage to ask Joey out.
June 3, 2025 at 12:48 AM
Joey Fuchs, 17, Glasgow. Trying to explain being non-binary to their friends in the boxing gym. They are polite but absolutely don't get it. But they respect Joey's work ethic and wicked right hook, and they're trying their best with pronouns. Two of them are working up the courage to ask Joey out.
Sara Isabel Spiker. 21, Belfast, dental receptionist. Bottle blonde, regular appointment at tanning salon, long nails, too many rings. Sleeping with three of the five dentists, all married. Struggling with guilt. Genuinely a good person, but has a hard time saying no, especially to great sex.
June 3, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Sara Isabel Spiker. 21, Belfast, dental receptionist. Bottle blonde, regular appointment at tanning salon, long nails, too many rings. Sleeping with three of the five dentists, all married. Struggling with guilt. Genuinely a good person, but has a hard time saying no, especially to great sex.
Milanka Čaušić, 58, Sleaford. Lorry driver with her very own Scania 6x2, after a lifetime of driving for other companies. Currently sprawled on the grass outside a truck stop in Slough with two other drivers, smoking, drinking terrible coffee and reminiscing about her younger days as a rugby player.
June 3, 2025 at 12:27 AM
Milanka Čaušić, 58, Sleaford. Lorry driver with her very own Scania 6x2, after a lifetime of driving for other companies. Currently sprawled on the grass outside a truck stop in Slough with two other drivers, smoking, drinking terrible coffee and reminiscing about her younger days as a rugby player.
Leslie Lau Yang Tao, 45, Slough. Chartered accountant. Married, three kids. Approached four times this year about helping a 'friend' launder money. Patiently declined each time. Loves BBQs, bake sales, and karaoke with office friends. Favourite songs: It's Raining Men, I Will Survive, Dancing Queen.
June 3, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Leslie Lau Yang Tao, 45, Slough. Chartered accountant. Married, three kids. Approached four times this year about helping a 'friend' launder money. Patiently declined each time. Loves BBQs, bake sales, and karaoke with office friends. Favourite songs: It's Raining Men, I Will Survive, Dancing Queen.
Jacques Benaissa, 28, Leeds. French, by way of an Algerian mother and a Guinean father. Came to the UK to pursue a degree in English Lit. Deep in debt and failing his second year due to developing a taste for parties and cocaine. Woke up on a Brighton beach yesterday with no shoes and no wallet.
June 2, 2025 at 11:56 PM
Jacques Benaissa, 28, Leeds. French, by way of an Algerian mother and a Guinean father. Came to the UK to pursue a degree in English Lit. Deep in debt and failing his second year due to developing a taste for parties and cocaine. Woke up on a Brighton beach yesterday with no shoes and no wallet.
Afterquid Inkblot Rogue of the North Wastes, 53, Hebden Bridge. That's her full legal name. She really tried to get the comma between Inkblot and Rogue, but British deed poll rules don't allow it. Letters come addressed to Mrs Afterquid Wastes, much to her dismay. Her friend call her Inky.
June 2, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Afterquid Inkblot Rogue of the North Wastes, 53, Hebden Bridge. That's her full legal name. She really tried to get the comma between Inkblot and Rogue, but British deed poll rules don't allow it. Letters come addressed to Mrs Afterquid Wastes, much to her dismay. Her friend call her Inky.
Penelope 'Pip' Hope. 93, or perhaps 101, or 56, or 17, depending on the day. She was a flapper dancing in a 1920s Berlin she can't possibly be old enough to have seen, a secretary to JFK, a school dinner lady, an airline pilot, a spy. No matter which day though, she always tells the best stories.
May 30, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Penelope 'Pip' Hope. 93, or perhaps 101, or 56, or 17, depending on the day. She was a flapper dancing in a 1920s Berlin she can't possibly be old enough to have seen, a secretary to JFK, a school dinner lady, an airline pilot, a spy. No matter which day though, she always tells the best stories.
John Caduceus Banks. 22, skinny, tall, trans masc. Excited to be starting T this year. Hopes to grow an excellent beard. Picked a sensible and easy to spell first name, because he's a practical sort, but couldn't resist the lure of a nerdy middle name. Hopelessly in love with his best friend.
May 30, 2025 at 10:05 PM
John Caduceus Banks. 22, skinny, tall, trans masc. Excited to be starting T this year. Hopes to grow an excellent beard. Picked a sensible and easy to spell first name, because he's a practical sort, but couldn't resist the lure of a nerdy middle name. Hopelessly in love with his best friend.
Hammett Ezekiel Bafflemount Ponderwick. 31, chartered accountant. Used to be called Dave Scott till he changed his name by deed poll in Uni. Sadly it didn't make him any more interesting or attractive, and he is now very tired of spelling it out over the phone.
May 30, 2025 at 9:56 PM
Hammett Ezekiel Bafflemount Ponderwick. 31, chartered accountant. Used to be called Dave Scott till he changed his name by deed poll in Uni. Sadly it didn't make him any more interesting or attractive, and he is now very tired of spelling it out over the phone.
Ethel Baumgarten-Sainsbury, 89, Penrith. On a distant branch of the Sainsbury family. Extremely posh. Plays contract bridge for pennies with her sister Margaret and her friends Hamish (47, plumber, middle class) and Brucie (62, retired handyman, common as muck). Ethel's butler makes sandwiches.
April 19, 2025 at 12:03 PM
Ethel Baumgarten-Sainsbury, 89, Penrith. On a distant branch of the Sainsbury family. Extremely posh. Plays contract bridge for pennies with her sister Margaret and her friends Hamish (47, plumber, middle class) and Brucie (62, retired handyman, common as muck). Ethel's butler makes sandwiches.
Hannah Stepanyan, 7, Bedford. Grew up on Lego, Meccano, and fascinatedly watching her dad maintain his car. Today, she took his toolbox from the shed, figured out how to open the car bonnet, climbed in, unscrewed every bolt she could find, and carefully put them in her pocket. Now in big trouble.
April 19, 2025 at 11:52 AM
Hannah Stepanyan, 7, Bedford. Grew up on Lego, Meccano, and fascinatedly watching her dad maintain his car. Today, she took his toolbox from the shed, figured out how to open the car bonnet, climbed in, unscrewed every bolt she could find, and carefully put them in her pocket. Now in big trouble.
Hephzibah Maroon, 45, Bournemouth. Tall, cuddly, ebullient. Owns 5 cats. School dinner lady and self published mystery romance writer. Knows about fifty ways to kill a man. Spends every night dreaming about using them on her downstairs neighbour whose music shakes her tiny flat's floorboards at 3am.
April 19, 2025 at 11:32 AM
Hephzibah Maroon, 45, Bournemouth. Tall, cuddly, ebullient. Owns 5 cats. School dinner lady and self published mystery romance writer. Knows about fifty ways to kill a man. Spends every night dreaming about using them on her downstairs neighbour whose music shakes her tiny flat's floorboards at 3am.
Zariah Farouq, 6, Aberystwyth. Look there's a horse and that one's a pony cos it's smaller and I wanna horse when I grow up cos I'll be really tall and a pony will be too small for me but I still want a pony too so I can cuddle her and braid flowers into her mane and she'll be called Zoe Apple...
April 19, 2025 at 10:56 AM
Zariah Farouq, 6, Aberystwyth. Look there's a horse and that one's a pony cos it's smaller and I wanna horse when I grow up cos I'll be really tall and a pony will be too small for me but I still want a pony too so I can cuddle her and braid flowers into her mane and she'll be called Zoe Apple...
Carol Vine, 33, Falkirk. Wipe desks. Hoover floors. Clean toilets. Drive to next office. Repeat until end of shift. Drive home. Try not to fall asleep at wheel. Tuck kids into bed. Tidy up. Collapse exhausted in front of TV with large glass of wine. Wonder if there should be more to life than this.
April 19, 2025 at 10:44 AM
Carol Vine, 33, Falkirk. Wipe desks. Hoover floors. Clean toilets. Drive to next office. Repeat until end of shift. Drive home. Try not to fall asleep at wheel. Tuck kids into bed. Tidy up. Collapse exhausted in front of TV with large glass of wine. Wonder if there should be more to life than this.
James "The Continuing Adventures of Fluffy Whitefoot and the Marshmallow Gang in the Wild West" Brandywine, 22, Birmingham. The nickname has built up over four years at Uni, and yes, his friends do say the whole thing every single goddamn time. You never get to choose a nickname, do you?
April 19, 2025 at 10:34 AM
James "The Continuing Adventures of Fluffy Whitefoot and the Marshmallow Gang in the Wild West" Brandywine, 22, Birmingham. The nickname has built up over four years at Uni, and yes, his friends do say the whole thing every single goddamn time. You never get to choose a nickname, do you?
Peter Parker, 43, Hackney Wick, London. Programmer at a startup disrupting pub signage using eye tracking. Nobody at work has ever called him Spider-Man to his face, but he knows they're all thinking it. Perpetually single. Debating growing a beard to get more Tinder matches. Plays clarinet, badly.
April 19, 2025 at 10:23 AM
Peter Parker, 43, Hackney Wick, London. Programmer at a startup disrupting pub signage using eye tracking. Nobody at work has ever called him Spider-Man to his face, but he knows they're all thinking it. Perpetually single. Debating growing a beard to get more Tinder matches. Plays clarinet, badly.
Luisa Bennett-Hay, 15, Auchenshuggle, Glasgow. Alternately amused and frustrated by her online friends who insist that Auchenshuggle can't possibly be a real place name. Plays hockey. Always on a diet. Bemused by her friends' use of fake tan. Wants a Mercedes for her 18th birthday; will not get one.
April 19, 2025 at 10:15 AM
Luisa Bennett-Hay, 15, Auchenshuggle, Glasgow. Alternately amused and frustrated by her online friends who insist that Auchenshuggle can't possibly be a real place name. Plays hockey. Always on a diet. Bemused by her friends' use of fake tan. Wants a Mercedes for her 18th birthday; will not get one.
George "xXseepageXx" Hope. 22, Skibbereen, Co. Cork. Twitch streamer, started on Overwatch but now plays Valorant. Hates his Twitch username but has built up too much community over 3 years to change it. Deliberately broadens his accent on stream because Americans love it. Smokes DMT on weekends.
April 19, 2025 at 10:05 AM
George "xXseepageXx" Hope. 22, Skibbereen, Co. Cork. Twitch streamer, started on Overwatch but now plays Valorant. Hates his Twitch username but has built up too much community over 3 years to change it. Deliberately broadens his accent on stream because Americans love it. Smokes DMT on weekends.