Same 😂 on the raised in an xtian cult thing. The Precepts are tough but im seeing why i need to hold them tbh, my delusions are wicked strong 💪 it becomes less of a “I’m crushed under these rules” and more of a “I’m free from those annoying desires YAY what a relief”

Yo I love the mystical stuff too, and I’ve sought out the most mystical and Mahayana esque of Theravada sanghas to vibe with. Trust me I wouldn’t be down with all the heavy rules otherwise. My root lama is actually Bon shhhhh lol

Certain strains of Mahayana can break my brain in a similar way that Vajrayana did, but I’ve found what works for me personally. My Tendai monk acquaintance says that in their system, Vajrayana and zen increase arrogance while precepts and pure land increase timidity, and a good balance needed

You are brave for rocking it if you do it any more than I (some cursory Tibetan elemental praxis) I’ve definitely spent my time In those trenches and I’m not the right kind of practitioner for that

Hustling the knives to me is better than sticking them in me tho