Curt Cignetti telepathically communicating with Dan Lanning: “I was an assistant coach under Nick Saban. You were just a general assistant. And it shows.”

They chose “run up the score” and the other 49 states not Alabama celebrate with glee so I guess that’s the most disrespectful option

Until that last pass, Carson Beck 6/8 for 9 yards was in contention for arguably the most beautiful stat line for a half in recent college football history

lasers are fantastical and easy to manipulate. only cold, yellow cylindrical steel will guide us to truth

I begrudgingly admit this has been the best possible game between two teams I hate and arguably shouldn’t be here at all

Alabama’s favorite goal recently: -3 rushing yards

Honestly, neither should OU and it’s now showing, but their case for inclusion was far clearer

My chaos take designed in a lab for @nauerbach.com @mrjoshuaperry.bsky.social