Brian Campbell
@brxyz.xyz
A gentleman of the utmost tepid achievement.
Once offered a shift manager role at Sbarro if I skipped college.
Once offered a shift manager role at Sbarro if I skipped college.
Overhead just now...
5 Year Old Daughter: mango farts are the worst
Wife: who told you that?
5YOD: no one, I just know they're the worst
5 Year Old Daughter: mango farts are the worst
Wife: who told you that?
5YOD: no one, I just know they're the worst
February 18, 2026 at 2:35 AM
Overhead just now...
5 Year Old Daughter: mango farts are the worst
Wife: who told you that?
5YOD: no one, I just know they're the worst
5 Year Old Daughter: mango farts are the worst
Wife: who told you that?
5YOD: no one, I just know they're the worst
Story: "I'm a terrible cook..."
Me: how bad could you be?
Story: Day 4 (out of 7) - a dietician recommends using spices
Me: oh, that bad
Me: how bad could you be?
Story: Day 4 (out of 7) - a dietician recommends using spices
Me: oh, that bad
I followed RFK Jr.'s new food rules for a week on a $15-a-day budget. It wasn't as easy as promised.
The White House and HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. have a new protein-forward food pyramid that they say you can follow cheaply. I tried it out.
www.businessinsider.com
February 16, 2026 at 2:45 PM
Story: "I'm a terrible cook..."
Me: how bad could you be?
Story: Day 4 (out of 7) - a dietician recommends using spices
Me: oh, that bad
Me: how bad could you be?
Story: Day 4 (out of 7) - a dietician recommends using spices
Me: oh, that bad
Welp, that worked out nicely
www.theverge.com/news/878447/...
www.theverge.com/news/878447/...
February 13, 2026 at 5:49 AM
Welp, that worked out nicely
www.theverge.com/news/878447/...
www.theverge.com/news/878447/...
Reposted by Brian Campbell
we need to talk about that Ring Super Bowl ad
February 10, 2026 at 8:18 PM
we need to talk about that Ring Super Bowl ad
Gonna try to follow through on this year's resolutions so I can be around in 20-30 years when this administration's Nixon tapes come out
January 3, 2026 at 6:24 PM
Gonna try to follow through on this year's resolutions so I can be around in 20-30 years when this administration's Nixon tapes come out
5 Year Old Daughter: daddy, can I watch [cartoon series]?
Me: [watching the news] no, you've watched enough TV today
ABC News: [plays photo montage b-roll of Maduro including one of him flashing a peace/victory sign]
5YO: look daddy, he says I can have two TVs
Me: [watching the news] no, you've watched enough TV today
ABC News: [plays photo montage b-roll of Maduro including one of him flashing a peace/victory sign]
5YO: look daddy, he says I can have two TVs
January 3, 2026 at 5:53 PM
5 Year Old Daughter: daddy, can I watch [cartoon series]?
Me: [watching the news] no, you've watched enough TV today
ABC News: [plays photo montage b-roll of Maduro including one of him flashing a peace/victory sign]
5YO: look daddy, he says I can have two TVs
Me: [watching the news] no, you've watched enough TV today
ABC News: [plays photo montage b-roll of Maduro including one of him flashing a peace/victory sign]
5YO: look daddy, he says I can have two TVs
This man's rambling is really eating into my kid's screen time
January 3, 2026 at 4:52 PM
This man's rambling is really eating into my kid's screen time
Welp, didn't get fired this year. Let's see if I can pull it off again next year.
December 31, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Welp, didn't get fired this year. Let's see if I can pull it off again next year.
"they have the golden arches, but ours are the golden arcs"
December 23, 2025 at 4:31 PM
"they have the golden arches, but ours are the golden arcs"
Kid: can I watch Mufasa?
Me: sure
Ten minutes later...
Kid: daddy, who's Mufasa?
Me: sure
Ten minutes later...
Kid: daddy, who's Mufasa?
December 16, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Kid: can I watch Mufasa?
Me: sure
Ten minutes later...
Kid: daddy, who's Mufasa?
Me: sure
Ten minutes later...
Kid: daddy, who's Mufasa?
Dissenting opinions currently out of stock.
December 9, 2025 at 9:05 PM
Dissenting opinions currently out of stock.
Warner Bros texting AOL to let them know they still think about them...
December 6, 2025 at 5:10 AM
Warner Bros texting AOL to let them know they still think about them...
A shot-for-shot remake of The Outsiders with the original cast and Don Swayze as Darry.
November 23, 2025 at 4:00 PM
A shot-for-shot remake of The Outsiders with the original cast and Don Swayze as Darry.
Currently seeking FIFA Peace Prize nomination.
November 6, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Currently seeking FIFA Peace Prize nomination.
Another year, another Fifth of November I failed to remember.
November 6, 2025 at 4:35 AM
Another year, another Fifth of November I failed to remember.
I wasn't ready for such hard truth on a Saturday morning
October 25, 2025 at 2:59 PM
I wasn't ready for such hard truth on a Saturday morning
Shout out to everyone who instead of candy will be handing out Halloween pencils and stickers just in time for November.
October 5, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Shout out to everyone who instead of candy will be handing out Halloween pencils and stickers just in time for November.
If you're not listening to kutx.org this morning, it sucks to be you. They're killing it right now.
The Austin Music Experience - KUTX
The Austin Music Experience. KUTX 98.9 FM 24-hour music is a non-commercial radio station serving the greater Austin, Texas area.
kutx.org
September 19, 2025 at 12:58 PM
If you're not listening to kutx.org this morning, it sucks to be you. They're killing it right now.
In memoriam
Due to the heat, my daughter (3) has been playing inside a lot the last couple months. To fill the silence with something other than kids songs from YouTube, I decided to dive into our combined hand-me-down record collection this week. First one we pulled out was this Connie Francis album from 1968.
July 17, 2025 at 12:27 PM
In memoriam
We planted a fig tree in our yard some years back (wife and I can't seem to remember exactly when). It's never really produced much fruit, and we were convinced it had died in the 2021 freeze. But it grew back with a vengeance. This is day 5 of this year's harvest.
July 5, 2025 at 12:05 AM
We planted a fig tree in our yard some years back (wife and I can't seem to remember exactly when). It's never really produced much fruit, and we were convinced it had died in the 2021 freeze. But it grew back with a vengeance. This is day 5 of this year's harvest.
I showed my 4 year old 1990's Rescuers Down Under. She's wanted to watch it almost everyday this week. I ain't mad about it
April 19, 2025 at 2:30 PM
I showed my 4 year old 1990's Rescuers Down Under. She's wanted to watch it almost everyday this week. I ain't mad about it
April 1, 2025 at 5:07 PM
Driving through Fredericksburg, TX, my daughter saw a sign for the Rhinory (it's exactly what you think) and shouted, "look a tricerahippo!"
March 28, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Driving through Fredericksburg, TX, my daughter saw a sign for the Rhinory (it's exactly what you think) and shouted, "look a tricerahippo!"
@the-independent.com guys, it's W-A-L-***T***-Z
March 27, 2025 at 9:18 PM
@the-independent.com guys, it's W-A-L-***T***-Z
This Amazon commercial bragging about paying people $22/hr so a guy can drive a VERY used truck to his best gal's place to give her a bouquet of parsley (?) before taking her to the local plywood and sheet metal built rib shack
February 23, 2025 at 7:59 AM
This Amazon commercial bragging about paying people $22/hr so a guy can drive a VERY used truck to his best gal's place to give her a bouquet of parsley (?) before taking her to the local plywood and sheet metal built rib shack