Abner Brown
@brown-abner.bsky.social
Head of the theological college at Chesters. A very sweet tenor. Criminal genius, part-time occultist and thief. Taking refuge from the other place, hoping to get the #BoxOfDelights, find my Pouncer and recruit a gang of scrobblers. The wolves are running.
Due to the shortness of the day, tomorrow's collection for the needy will be cut short. However, we are pleased to be able to extend our popular, lurking suspiciously in dark corners service. Get your tickets before Animus eats them.
December 20, 2025 at 8:15 PM
Due to the shortness of the day, tomorrow's collection for the needy will be cut short. However, we are pleased to be able to extend our popular, lurking suspiciously in dark corners service. Get your tickets before Animus eats them.
Not only Miss Maria, but my sappphire @pouncersd.bsky.social too! The wolves are certainly running, here, this year.
December 20, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Not only Miss Maria, but my sappphire @pouncersd.bsky.social too! The wolves are certainly running, here, this year.
Drat - I've been passed over for Archbishop again. I wonder if it's the jewel heist or the scrobbling that counts against me?
December 19, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Drat - I've been passed over for Archbishop again. I wonder if it's the jewel heist or the scrobbling that counts against me?
Delighted to see my old adversary and fellow connoisseur of duck pate @blessedmariajones.bsky.social is back in Condicote. Now I just need to hide all the pistols and find out what Carolingian stained glass looks like.
December 19, 2025 at 4:55 PM
Delighted to see my old adversary and fellow connoisseur of duck pate @blessedmariajones.bsky.social is back in Condicote. Now I just need to hide all the pistols and find out what Carolingian stained glass looks like.
I was dining at the Bear's Paw last night. I said, send me the wine waiter.
Sommelier, they replied.
Well, stand him outside for ten minutes to air, then send him, I said.
Joe got that one at Brixton Music Hall. Dolt!
Sommelier, they replied.
Well, stand him outside for ten minutes to air, then send him, I said.
Joe got that one at Brixton Music Hall. Dolt!
December 18, 2025 at 8:03 PM
I was dining at the Bear's Paw last night. I said, send me the wine waiter.
Sommelier, they replied.
Well, stand him outside for ten minutes to air, then send him, I said.
Joe got that one at Brixton Music Hall. Dolt!
Sommelier, they replied.
Well, stand him outside for ten minutes to air, then send him, I said.
Joe got that one at Brixton Music Hall. Dolt!
Hasn't that dratted child @kayharker4.bsky.social left school for the holidays yet? I'm getting complaints from the railway that the commuter services are being clogged up by curates playing 'find the lady'.
December 15, 2025 at 2:06 PM
Hasn't that dratted child @kayharker4.bsky.social left school for the holidays yet? I'm getting complaints from the railway that the commuter services are being clogged up by curates playing 'find the lady'.
We're off to London, to cancel something that claims to be a carol service but definitely isn't. Even Animus thinks this lot come from somewhere unspeakable - Luton possibly.
December 13, 2025 at 12:46 PM
We're off to London, to cancel something that claims to be a carol service but definitely isn't. Even Animus thinks this lot come from somewhere unspeakable - Luton possibly.
From now on, any dolt wanting to become a curate at Chesters will have to provide a 5 year purchase history of flour, smeddum and other farrinaceous products. Oh, and handover any muffins you might have on your person. Can't be too careful at this time of year.
December 11, 2025 at 11:37 PM
From now on, any dolt wanting to become a curate at Chesters will have to provide a 5 year purchase history of flour, smeddum and other farrinaceous products. Oh, and handover any muffins you might have on your person. Can't be too careful at this time of year.
I got quite excited when I heard that Bram was due. I imagined sitting up late by the fire, exchanging vampire tales. It seems I got it wrong, and the dolt has shut off the power. That's another half-crown's worth of candles gone over the weir.
December 9, 2025 at 7:16 PM
I got quite excited when I heard that Bram was due. I imagined sitting up late by the fire, exchanging vampire tales. It seems I got it wrong, and the dolt has shut off the power. That's another half-crown's worth of candles gone over the weir.
I think the anger-management classes are working. I watched episode 3 today and was glad to see myself acting quite calmly. Apart from the pyromania, and kicking two dolts out the back door. And scrobbling a young person with beautifully colour coordinated knitwear. But otherwise quite calm.
December 7, 2025 at 5:26 PM
I think the anger-management classes are working. I watched episode 3 today and was glad to see myself acting quite calmly. Apart from the pyromania, and kicking two dolts out the back door. And scrobbling a young person with beautifully colour coordinated knitwear. But otherwise quite calm.
I'm getting properly into the Christmas spirit today, and am taking the boys to fetch our Christmas tree. I'm going to engage his grace in theological conversation while Joe strips his tree of baubles and @foxyfacedcharles.bsky.social drags the dratted thing into the boot of the car-o-plane.
December 7, 2025 at 9:48 AM
I'm getting properly into the Christmas spirit today, and am taking the boys to fetch our Christmas tree. I'm going to engage his grace in theological conversation while Joe strips his tree of baubles and @foxyfacedcharles.bsky.social drags the dratted thing into the boot of the car-o-plane.
We've been decorating Chesters and singing carols. It was all going well until we started decking the halls with boughs of holly. Some dolt kept singing 'fra-la la-la la, la ha-ha-what.'. @foxyfacedcharles.bsky.social
December 5, 2025 at 5:44 PM
We've been decorating Chesters and singing carols. It was all going well until we started decking the halls with boughs of holly. Some dolt kept singing 'fra-la la-la la, la ha-ha-what.'. @foxyfacedcharles.bsky.social
If there had been room at the inn, then now our celebrations would include trying to get the dratted phone to authenticate your payment, waiting endlessly to check in while a Wise Man complained that he has to pay to use the sauna, and spending half of Christmas Eve trying to make the keycard work.
December 4, 2025 at 12:50 AM
If there had been room at the inn, then now our celebrations would include trying to get the dratted phone to authenticate your payment, waiting endlessly to check in while a Wise Man complained that he has to pay to use the sauna, and spending half of Christmas Eve trying to make the keycard work.
It's a bit early in December for me to be losing out to that old devil of a punch and Judy man. I'll definitely be cancelling Christmas if this continues.
December 3, 2025 at 8:21 PM
It's a bit early in December for me to be losing out to that old devil of a punch and Judy man. I'll definitely be cancelling Christmas if this continues.
Up and down the country, little children have been excitedly opening the first window of their advent calendars. I hope the dolts all have half a crown handy.
December 1, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Up and down the country, little children have been excitedly opening the first window of their advent calendars. I hope the dolts all have half a crown handy.
As this is the first day of Advent, I have been observing the pre-Christmas traditions. Today, for example, I addressed the pensioners. I didn't put a stamp on, mind, I'm not made of money.
November 30, 2025 at 10:50 PM
As this is the first day of Advent, I have been observing the pre-Christmas traditions. Today, for example, I addressed the pensioners. I didn't put a stamp on, mind, I'm not made of money.
Very sorry to hear about Tom Stoppard. He wrote the sorts of lines that could make anyone sound quite Shakespearean.
November 29, 2025 at 8:58 PM
Very sorry to hear about Tom Stoppard. He wrote the sorts of lines that could make anyone sound quite Shakespearean.
I hope you've all survived Black Friday. I celebrated by turning off all the lights in the cellars and promising the choristers freedom to the one who finds the Bishop's missing mitre.
November 28, 2025 at 7:41 PM
I hope you've all survived Black Friday. I celebrated by turning off all the lights in the cellars and promising the choristers freedom to the one who finds the Bishop's missing mitre.
I trust you've all adjusted your calendars, as the first day of Advent is on Sunday. If you need a bigger calendar, pop round to Chesters where we have ones for every budget (starting at half a crown) and a generous trade in on magical wooden boxes.
November 27, 2025 at 9:02 PM
I trust you've all adjusted your calendars, as the first day of Advent is on Sunday. If you need a bigger calendar, pop round to Chesters where we have ones for every budget (starting at half a crown) and a generous trade in on magical wooden boxes.
Having reviewed the Chesters finances, I've concluded that the travelling home for the holidays surcharge will have to increase - from half a crown to three guineas.
November 26, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Having reviewed the Chesters finances, I've concluded that the travelling home for the holidays surcharge will have to increase - from half a crown to three guineas.
It's at this time of year that I sympathise with that old fool Arnold: on one hand Master Harker is at Seekings and the scrobbling has begun. On the other, the dratted child doesn't come home for another 4 weeks. I feel all lost in time, too.
November 24, 2025 at 7:46 PM
It's at this time of year that I sympathise with that old fool Arnold: on one hand Master Harker is at Seekings and the scrobbling has begun. On the other, the dratted child doesn't come home for another 4 weeks. I feel all lost in time, too.
I wonder how many scrobblefesters got home to find their houses ransacked and the servants nowhere to be found?
November 23, 2025 at 9:46 AM
I wonder how many scrobblefesters got home to find their houses ransacked and the servants nowhere to be found?
I hear there is a gollop of Scrobbkefesters gathering at Dudley. Quick go up there and get half a crown off each of them before they . You might ransack their luggage, while you're at it.
#scrobblefest
#thewolvesarerunning
#scrobblefest
#thewolvesarerunning
November 22, 2025 at 8:46 AM
I hear there is a gollop of Scrobbkefesters gathering at Dudley. Quick go up there and get half a crown off each of them before they . You might ransack their luggage, while you're at it.
#scrobblefest
#thewolvesarerunning
#scrobblefest
#thewolvesarerunning
Ooh - look what's showing and the Condicote Gaumont!
November 21, 2025 at 5:55 PM
Ooh - look what's showing and the Condicote Gaumont!
Not a bad haul from the first morning's scrobbling:
One half-crown
One part used ticket: Hereford to Condicote via Musborough
One bag of muffins (lightly squashed)
Stern advice to take an emergency posset
Two hard boiled heggs
One fifteen shilling fine for travelling first on a third class ticket.
One half-crown
One part used ticket: Hereford to Condicote via Musborough
One bag of muffins (lightly squashed)
Stern advice to take an emergency posset
Two hard boiled heggs
One fifteen shilling fine for travelling first on a third class ticket.
November 21, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Not a bad haul from the first morning's scrobbling:
One half-crown
One part used ticket: Hereford to Condicote via Musborough
One bag of muffins (lightly squashed)
Stern advice to take an emergency posset
Two hard boiled heggs
One fifteen shilling fine for travelling first on a third class ticket.
One half-crown
One part used ticket: Hereford to Condicote via Musborough
One bag of muffins (lightly squashed)
Stern advice to take an emergency posset
Two hard boiled heggs
One fifteen shilling fine for travelling first on a third class ticket.