Paul Brislen
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brislen.nz
Paul Brislen
@brislen.nz
3.7K followers 3.7K following 4.8K posts
Kiwi telco guy. No I don’t know how that happened either.

I shall bind him to me, with promises. 🇳🇿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿
Cymro o ddewis (Welsh by choice)

"We consider that Mr Brislen is an authoritative source." (BSA decision, March 2020)

Aotearoa he/him
Posts Replies Media Videos
brislen.nz
Two wise men and a donkey feature in the cover of a Ladybird book for children. One man points to the horizon and the caption reads “Far off into the distance is where you should FUCK OFF”.
November 25, 2025 at 4:06 AM
brislen.nz
This is not news.
Screen shot of a Herald story about a US man who lost his job after having an affair with a New Zealander but with a massive photo of her and her name listed but no mention of him beyond "top insurance boss".
November 25, 2025 at 12:05 AM
brislen.nz
Mother and child. Cats. Mother cat sits on the bench seat. Kitten is peeking out from behind in relative safety.
November 23, 2025 at 10:21 PM
brislen.nz
And they wonder why Generation X grew up with no feelings.

They were cauterised at an early stage.
The cover of UK magazine, The Radio Times from September 1984 with the poster from anti-nuclear war film Threads which was filmed partly in Sheffield.
November 23, 2025 at 8:47 PM
brislen.nz
Mother and daughter doing well.
Two calico cats, one about 10-15 days old.
November 22, 2025 at 10:54 PM
brislen.nz
So the cat that has been living in our basement for months (aka Fluffy Bum)
appears to have picked up a little something.
A long haired calico cat with a much smaller long haired calico now known as Tinkle Bum.
November 22, 2025 at 10:04 PM
brislen.nz
No. Nope. Nu-uh.
A spider trying to carry my suitcase to the car for me. Spider says “don’t even think about it.” Sir, I did not. Spider took a dislike to my measuring stick and later wrestled it from my grasp.
November 21, 2025 at 8:28 PM
brislen.nz
So very, very good.

Hattip to @stephencollins.bsky.social from www.stephencollinsillustration.com

Hope it's OK to share like this. If not let me know and I'll take it down.
A cartoon in 12 panels that starts with Churchill giving a rousing speech, then cuts to the compare who says, "Mr Hitler, your response?". Hitler then chimes in with "Vell, zis is hysterical woke nonsense as usual from Mr Churchill..." before Churchill interrupts to ask what Hitler is doing there. The compare says, "It's important we hear both sides of the debate," to which Churchill says, "This isn't a debate. You don't debate fascists" which prompts Hitler to respond with, "Oh, here we go with zero Godwin's Law..." and it degenerates from there.
November 20, 2025 at 6:00 AM
brislen.nz
Dear every single car website in the known universe. Nobody wants this. Nobody asked for it. Why do you all do it?

At least turn off the annoying bell sound, eh?
A screenshot of the MG New Zealand website with a tedious pop up that immediately pops up on every home page of every car manufacturer I ever click on and demands attention every time.
November 17, 2025 at 8:12 PM
brislen.nz
I have called inclement weather and put on the rainy day playlist.
The North Shore Archery Club tournament is now rather damp.
November 14, 2025 at 9:52 PM
brislen.nz
Someone needs to have a word because this is not acceptable.
Screenshot from the Herald that says “Police apologise to woman in McSkimmjng case but continue to prosecute her anyway for emails”
November 12, 2025 at 6:41 PM
brislen.nz
Now that is lovely.
Auckland theatre production of Tiri: Te Araroa woman far walking’s stage.
November 8, 2025 at 5:52 AM
brislen.nz
Current state:
It’s a beautiful evening here in the skies. A setting sun illuminates the evening sky and an Air New Zealand wingtip peeks in from the right of the frame.
November 6, 2025 at 7:10 AM
brislen.nz
"Cubs, to the left flank! They're weaker there because they've got their pants down.

"Girl Guides, fire all flaming toilet paper at the long drops. Catch them off guard!"
A screenshot from RNZ showing a picture of a van with its doors open and the headline: "Scouts battle defecating, littering carpark campers".
November 6, 2025 at 12:17 AM
brislen.nz
In the bunker planning and exercising for a major space weather event.
The Beehive, on a glorious sunny day. Half the room full of people at a NEMA exercise looking at shower will handle space weather.
November 5, 2025 at 8:10 PM
brislen.nz
Gee, I wonder what the New Zealand Herald thinks of introducing a capital gains tax that's similar to but weaker than taxes all our allies have.
A screenshot of a New Zealand Herald Facebook post that has a picture of Labour leader Chris Hipkins with the words "Explainer: You own one home and you're currently living in it, however Labour's CGT could still apply".
November 3, 2025 at 9:24 PM
brislen.nz
This guy.
October 31, 2025 at 11:14 PM
brislen.nz
I HAVE HAD MANY ARGUMENTS ABOUT THIS AND I WILL NOT BE TAKING QUESTIONS AT THIS TIME THEY'RE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TORTOISES
Turtles (on the left hand side) live in the sea, have flippers, are omnivorous and a flat, streamlined shell. Tortoises (on the right) live on land, have FEET, are vegetarian and have a dome-shaped shell.
October 30, 2025 at 11:11 PM
brislen.nz
We live in a land without laws now. A lawless land with no rules, no structure. A land of wolves.
An error message on the legislation.govt.nz website that says your connection is not private.
October 29, 2025 at 7:28 PM
brislen.nz
Really, NZ Herald?
A screenshot from a story that includes the layout instructions “italics in cyber”.
October 29, 2025 at 6:35 PM
brislen.nz
What are you all having for dinner?
Homemade off a TikTok recipe, sliders with chicken Caesar salad and garlic butter.
October 27, 2025 at 5:39 AM
brislen.nz
Current state:
A screen shot from Windy.com showing the wind patterns that are coming to New Zealand today. This is as at 0930. The darker red/purple colours are higher wind speeds.
October 22, 2025 at 8:36 PM
brislen.nz
Windy days 11-1pm will be the fun time.
A weather map of New Zealand showing anticipated winds of up to 200kph for the lower North Island and most of the South.
October 22, 2025 at 6:53 PM
brislen.nz
Ahahahahahahaaaa
A screenshot of Communications Day from Australia heralding the arrival of a median download speed of 100 Mbps for the first time.
October 19, 2025 at 7:11 PM
brislen.nz
This is the beast.
A yellow box with the words KEEP FINGERS CLEAR sits on a small coffee table. The front of the box is dominated by a keyhole shaped home. Inside, a Mechanism awaits. A yellow box with the words KEEP FINGERS CLEAR sits on a small coffee table. The front of the box is dominated by a keyhole shaped home. Inside, a Mechanism awaits. (As before but a three quarter angle). The inside of the yellow box revealing a Mechanism, designed to end the life of those creature foolish enough to reach through the keyhole.
October 19, 2025 at 4:33 AM