Bret_Heartbreak🍾💔
@bret-heartbreak.bsky.social
The love child of vanity and virtue. I come to the internet for the B.S. cuz I’m not for it in real life. #Aggiepride #LakerGang ⭕️ ❗️❗️ ❗️⭕️ ♉️ 🍷🥊
“Trying is just doing at a speed you don’t respect.”
“Trying is just doing at a speed you don’t respect.”
My optimal hours are 2-10….that is 2am-10am. 11 at the latest.
Everything after that, I gotta be real active or it better be real engaging cuz ima be lookin for a nap, and it’s gon find me even faster than I find it😂
Everything after that, I gotta be real active or it better be real engaging cuz ima be lookin for a nap, and it’s gon find me even faster than I find it😂
February 4, 2026 at 12:09 PM
My optimal hours are 2-10….that is 2am-10am. 11 at the latest.
Everything after that, I gotta be real active or it better be real engaging cuz ima be lookin for a nap, and it’s gon find me even faster than I find it😂
Everything after that, I gotta be real active or it better be real engaging cuz ima be lookin for a nap, and it’s gon find me even faster than I find it😂
Idk when ketchup became so childish but it’s either hot sauce, bbq sauce, or honey mustard for me these days. Fries included.
Class🤌🏾
Taste🤌🏾🤌🏾
😂
Class🤌🏾
Taste🤌🏾🤌🏾
😂
February 4, 2026 at 1:43 AM
Idk when ketchup became so childish but it’s either hot sauce, bbq sauce, or honey mustard for me these days. Fries included.
Class🤌🏾
Taste🤌🏾🤌🏾
😂
Class🤌🏾
Taste🤌🏾🤌🏾
😂
I took the baby to lunch today and immediately ordered everything she wanted to “taste” as my meal, and let her just order the thing she knew she was gon like.
Strategy🙂↕️😁
Strategy🙂↕️😁
February 3, 2026 at 11:21 PM
I took the baby to lunch today and immediately ordered everything she wanted to “taste” as my meal, and let her just order the thing she knew she was gon like.
Strategy🙂↕️😁
Strategy🙂↕️😁
I just wrote a song (not fr) called girlfriends gotta eat, cuz..well…girlfriends gotta eat
February 3, 2026 at 11:20 PM
I just wrote a song (not fr) called girlfriends gotta eat, cuz..well…girlfriends gotta eat
Damn I don’t wanna hear Anthony Hamilton croon/whine
February 3, 2026 at 8:59 PM
Damn I don’t wanna hear Anthony Hamilton croon/whine
Disappointment should be vetted through the clarity of the expectation(s)
February 3, 2026 at 4:21 PM
Disappointment should be vetted through the clarity of the expectation(s)
Reposted by Bret_Heartbreak🍾💔
Tis true
Cat women are sensual, private, fanciful, selective, and nerdy about specific things (as opposed to dog women, who can nerd out on anything).
Also, these traits are applicable if she HAS a cat, or IS a cat.
Also, also, these traits are observations without large sample size research.
Also, these traits are applicable if she HAS a cat, or IS a cat.
Also, also, these traits are observations without large sample size research.
February 3, 2026 at 3:03 AM
Tis true
Did yall know that Martin Lawrence and Kelsey Grammer had a damn show together?!
February 3, 2026 at 2:55 AM
Did yall know that Martin Lawrence and Kelsey Grammer had a damn show together?!
What’s a good movie to fall asleep to?
February 3, 2026 at 2:52 AM
What’s a good movie to fall asleep to?
Reposted by Bret_Heartbreak🍾💔
Yes 😌
Cat women are sensual, private, fanciful, selective, and nerdy about specific things (as opposed to dog women, who can nerd out on anything).
Also, these traits are applicable if she HAS a cat, or IS a cat.
Also, also, these traits are observations without large sample size research.
Also, these traits are applicable if she HAS a cat, or IS a cat.
Also, also, these traits are observations without large sample size research.
February 3, 2026 at 2:37 AM
Yes 😌
Cat women are sensual, private, fanciful, selective, and nerdy about specific things (as opposed to dog women, who can nerd out on anything).
Also, these traits are applicable if she HAS a cat, or IS a cat.
Also, also, these traits are observations without large sample size research.
Also, these traits are applicable if she HAS a cat, or IS a cat.
Also, also, these traits are observations without large sample size research.
February 3, 2026 at 2:35 AM
Cat women are sensual, private, fanciful, selective, and nerdy about specific things (as opposed to dog women, who can nerd out on anything).
Also, these traits are applicable if she HAS a cat, or IS a cat.
Also, also, these traits are observations without large sample size research.
Also, these traits are applicable if she HAS a cat, or IS a cat.
Also, also, these traits are observations without large sample size research.
If she actually had a cat I’d have no question that she also, was a cat.
February 3, 2026 at 2:30 AM
If she actually had a cat I’d have no question that she also, was a cat.
Where’s MTV when you need it? I need a True Life episode
“True life, my gf might be a cat”
“True life, my gf might be a cat”
February 3, 2026 at 2:29 AM
Where’s MTV when you need it? I need a True Life episode
“True life, my gf might be a cat”
“True life, my gf might be a cat”
The baby said she wanna watch a movie.
That mean she finna sit up under me and fall asleep. The movie may or may not even be necessary.🙂↔️
That mean she finna sit up under me and fall asleep. The movie may or may not even be necessary.🙂↔️
February 3, 2026 at 1:49 AM
The baby said she wanna watch a movie.
That mean she finna sit up under me and fall asleep. The movie may or may not even be necessary.🙂↔️
That mean she finna sit up under me and fall asleep. The movie may or may not even be necessary.🙂↔️
Reposted by Bret_Heartbreak🍾💔
You have. 🤭
Feel like I been screaming this into the void (not on here tho).
Mini 🧵 rant.
bsky.app/profile/0hbe...
bsky.app/profile/0hbe...
February 2, 2026 at 5:48 PM
You have. 🤭
Reposted by Bret_Heartbreak🍾💔
How are we supposed to teach knowing there are students who deem us enemies because we believe in humanity and love?
How do we do our jobs while wondering which students think we (the enemies) should be felled (definition: to cut, knock, or bring down; kill)?
How do we do our jobs while wondering which students think we (the enemies) should be felled (definition: to cut, knock, or bring down; kill)?
February 2, 2026 at 5:42 PM
How are we supposed to teach knowing there are students who deem us enemies because we believe in humanity and love?
How do we do our jobs while wondering which students think we (the enemies) should be felled (definition: to cut, knock, or bring down; kill)?
How do we do our jobs while wondering which students think we (the enemies) should be felled (definition: to cut, knock, or bring down; kill)?
What you call it when you want to use all the extra energy you’ve gained from nutrition and supplements to sleep?
Is that a thing? It probably means I’m still deficient in some vitamin or mineral. 🥲
Is that a thing? It probably means I’m still deficient in some vitamin or mineral. 🥲
February 2, 2026 at 5:45 PM
What you call it when you want to use all the extra energy you’ve gained from nutrition and supplements to sleep?
Is that a thing? It probably means I’m still deficient in some vitamin or mineral. 🥲
Is that a thing? It probably means I’m still deficient in some vitamin or mineral. 🥲
‼️
Hexing every non Black person who uses the term woke. Double hex if you use it to defend a white supremacist on the second day of Black History Month.
February 2, 2026 at 4:44 PM
‼️
Reposted by Bret_Heartbreak🍾💔
Hexing every non Black person who uses the term woke. Double hex if you use it to defend a white supremacist on the second day of Black History Month.
February 2, 2026 at 4:43 PM
Hexing every non Black person who uses the term woke. Double hex if you use it to defend a white supremacist on the second day of Black History Month.
😭
He finna go on the grill
PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. (AP) — Punxsutawney Phil is said to have seen his shadow, predicting 6 more weeks of winter weather.
February 2, 2026 at 4:43 PM
😭
Too much access to culture. Too many mfs think that because they have a say, that they have a say-so.
Traditionally I blame Kanye West…. Im starting to spread that blame to Pharrell and Jay-Z too.
Traditionally I blame Kanye West…. Im starting to spread that blame to Pharrell and Jay-Z too.
February 2, 2026 at 4:37 PM
Too much access to culture. Too many mfs think that because they have a say, that they have a say-so.
Traditionally I blame Kanye West…. Im starting to spread that blame to Pharrell and Jay-Z too.
Traditionally I blame Kanye West…. Im starting to spread that blame to Pharrell and Jay-Z too.
Reposted by Bret_Heartbreak🍾💔
Mini 🧵 rant.
bsky.app/profile/0hbe...
bsky.app/profile/0hbe...
One thing I absolutely hate about the internet is non black people using our colloquialisms. Have ZERO point of reference so they don't even know what they're actually saying, the joke, or where it's from. Also branding it as Gen Z slang, and I'm like "my grandma been saying this my entire life" 😩
February 2, 2026 at 4:28 PM
Mini 🧵 rant.
bsky.app/profile/0hbe...
bsky.app/profile/0hbe...
Feel like I been screaming this into the void (not on here tho).
Mini 🧵 rant.
bsky.app/profile/0hbe...
bsky.app/profile/0hbe...
One thing I absolutely hate about the internet is non black people using our colloquialisms. Have ZERO point of reference so they don't even know what they're actually saying, the joke, or where it's from. Also branding it as Gen Z slang, and I'm like "my grandma been saying this my entire life" 😩
February 2, 2026 at 4:36 PM
Feel like I been screaming this into the void (not on here tho).