Brendan Parry Kaufmann
@bpkaufmann.bsky.social
Audible Shape.
Semi-Ambulatory Cheese Disposal System.
Actor/Writer/Director/Producer/Cat-Wrangler.
🇦🇺🇺🇦🇬🇪🇨🇦🇬🇱🏳️🌈🖤💛❤️
Semi-Ambulatory Cheese Disposal System.
Actor/Writer/Director/Producer/Cat-Wrangler.
🇦🇺🇺🇦🇬🇪🇨🇦🇬🇱🏳️🌈🖤💛❤️
Oh, that's a *brilliant* idea.
Are such things available?
Are such things available?
a young man in a white jacket is standing in front of a door in a room .
Alt: Man insisting you take his credit card
media.tenor.com
December 6, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Oh, that's a *brilliant* idea.
Are such things available?
Are such things available?
Meeting all KPIs for being a cat.
Excellent work, young lady.
Excellent work, young lady.
December 6, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Meeting all KPIs for being a cat.
Excellent work, young lady.
Excellent work, young lady.
Good old Jack "I'm not gay but I think some of the fellas who've fisted me were" Posobiec.
Methinks he doth protest too much.
Methinks he doth protest too much.
December 5, 2025 at 11:53 PM
Good old Jack "I'm not gay but I think some of the fellas who've fisted me were" Posobiec.
Methinks he doth protest too much.
Methinks he doth protest too much.
In a civilized country, that sycophantic smirking shitbird would be hunted for his pelt.
December 5, 2025 at 1:27 PM
In a civilized country, that sycophantic smirking shitbird would be hunted for his pelt.
Jesus Christ on a tricycle.
Are *all* of these idiots on ketamine?
Are *all* of these idiots on ketamine?
December 5, 2025 at 12:23 PM
Jesus Christ on a tricycle.
Are *all* of these idiots on ketamine?
Are *all* of these idiots on ketamine?
Speaking personally, I'd want to see all of the players boiled in their own blood, and forced to eat themselves.
December 5, 2025 at 10:39 AM
Speaking personally, I'd want to see all of the players boiled in their own blood, and forced to eat themselves.
Our colleague, the Squire of Kyneton, was saying this very thing to me this evening. Baffling.
December 5, 2025 at 10:35 AM
Our colleague, the Squire of Kyneton, was saying this very thing to me this evening. Baffling.
Well, that was a total roller-coaster.
December 5, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Well, that was a total roller-coaster.
The original Station Master, Tama-san, is now running the Great Railway in The Sky - but he has been officially accorded the status of a local God, and has a charming little Shinto shrine of his own on the platform at Kishi. 🐈
December 5, 2025 at 12:37 AM
The original Station Master, Tama-san, is now running the Great Railway in The Sky - but he has been officially accorded the status of a local God, and has a charming little Shinto shrine of his own on the platform at Kishi. 🐈
We are a most lyrical and understated people.
But, yeah. Utter cunt of a pinecone, that one.
But, yeah. Utter cunt of a pinecone, that one.
December 4, 2025 at 10:46 AM
We are a most lyrical and understated people.
But, yeah. Utter cunt of a pinecone, that one.
But, yeah. Utter cunt of a pinecone, that one.
I was just on the Enoden last week! And a few days ago, I rode the Wakayama Electric Railway, through, little villages, rice fields and vegetable patches - a line doubly notable, as the Chief Station Master is Nitama-san is a large calico cat.
Because Japan, obviously.
Because Japan, obviously.
December 4, 2025 at 9:54 AM
I was just on the Enoden last week! And a few days ago, I rode the Wakayama Electric Railway, through, little villages, rice fields and vegetable patches - a line doubly notable, as the Chief Station Master is Nitama-san is a large calico cat.
Because Japan, obviously.
Because Japan, obviously.
Hey, we'll always raise a festive glass of Windex come Hanukkah, in this house.
December 4, 2025 at 6:35 AM
Hey, we'll always raise a festive glass of Windex come Hanukkah, in this house.
Well, okey-dokey then.
Bye-bye. Burn in hell, shitbag.
Bye-bye. Burn in hell, shitbag.
December 2, 2025 at 11:00 AM
Well, okey-dokey then.
Bye-bye. Burn in hell, shitbag.
Bye-bye. Burn in hell, shitbag.
Superb work. I heartily endorse.
December 2, 2025 at 10:54 AM
Superb work. I heartily endorse.
....the fuck is this rambling, asinine, honking mooing nonsense?
And what is this tradwife-in-waiting idiot doing in college, anyway? Shouldn't she be churning butter, or breeding, or making sandwiches or something?
And what is this tradwife-in-waiting idiot doing in college, anyway? Shouldn't she be churning butter, or breeding, or making sandwiches or something?
December 2, 2025 at 9:17 AM
....the fuck is this rambling, asinine, honking mooing nonsense?
And what is this tradwife-in-waiting idiot doing in college, anyway? Shouldn't she be churning butter, or breeding, or making sandwiches or something?
And what is this tradwife-in-waiting idiot doing in college, anyway? Shouldn't she be churning butter, or breeding, or making sandwiches or something?
"Salo" is a Christmas movie.
Fight me.
Fight me.
December 2, 2025 at 9:08 AM
"Salo" is a Christmas movie.
Fight me.
Fight me.
First thing I thought of:
a cartoon character says i sleep in a racing car
ALT: a cartoon character says i sleep in a racing car
media.tenor.com
December 2, 2025 at 9:05 AM
First thing I thought of:
You'll know for sure, when monk seals start reciting train timetables from memory.
December 1, 2025 at 1:14 PM
You'll know for sure, when monk seals start reciting train timetables from memory.
Ah, my beloved countrymen, my beautiful island home.
So proud. Bet they knocked that fuckin' drone right out of the sky.
So proud. Bet they knocked that fuckin' drone right out of the sky.
December 1, 2025 at 8:15 AM
Ah, my beloved countrymen, my beautiful island home.
So proud. Bet they knocked that fuckin' drone right out of the sky.
So proud. Bet they knocked that fuckin' drone right out of the sky.
Reported that corpse-in-waiting for harrasment, and blocked him. Don't know if it will help, but I'm sorry if that idiot upset you.
December 1, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Reported that corpse-in-waiting for harrasment, and blocked him. Don't know if it will help, but I'm sorry if that idiot upset you.
Nowhere near enough.
November 30, 2025 at 10:02 PM
Nowhere near enough.
More Kabuki - and that's no bad thing.
November 29, 2025 at 3:27 AM
More Kabuki - and that's no bad thing.