Every 3 months I remember that getting up early is dope af

Why is it harder for me to schedule an appt at the DMV to renew my license than to get Taylor Swift tickets

I have done 6 loads of laundry today, in a way this is my own Chicago marathon

they have been digging up old water pipes on my street all week and I’m pretending it’s something sinister and haunted for spooky season instead of a pain in the ass

ok fine I’ll try to make bluesky happen

I’m not asking for much I’m just asking for my dog to eat one scoop of food without it being A Thing

gonna find love the old fashioned way by tricking him into a relationship for a magazine article then losing his trust then gaining it again then riding away on a motorcycle while the Gin Blossoms play

“I’ve always dreamed of a house that has land” -guy on house hunters with no idea what is going on

I need Barbie and Elle Woods to team up

Only spent $125 at Costco today which feels like a record low

trying to post here and not be like whoa it’s so weird to post here but alas

why is my dog is doing performance art

last night i had a dream my friend asked me if I thought she was Juvenile’s “type” so I said “hey Siri is Lydia Juvenile’s type” and Siri said “Juanita? Como es?”