Maybe don't chotin me though because I would perish on the spot.

I have been radicalized in favor of chotining. Chotin it all. Chotin it now.

I respect your desire to not know, but fwiw my internet life became immeasurably better when I learned what a Chotiner was.

*i meant small OR handmade, upthread. ugh

the only use of chatGPT that makes sense to me is when people who are already confident use it to save time (and then fact-check it after). when people use it because they think chatGPT is better at the thing than they are... god it makes me so sad.

this thread brought to you by the fucking "ask chatGPT for gift-giving advice" article making the rounds again.

if you're bad at the first part (observing/knowing), don't be afraid to ask ppl close to them what their interests are -- or ask the person directly what they would like! if you're bad at the second part (confidence), imagine me patting you on the shoulder and telling you it's okay, you've got this.

the secret to good gift-giving is twofold: observing/knowing people, and trusting yourself.

and finally, Step 4: before you actually buy anything, consider whether this person would actually use the thing. sometimes people claim that they want something but would never actually use it. be cynical but loving! (ignore this with less-close friends because with them it is NOT your problem!)

Step 3, option 3: this one only works with close friends and loved ones, and that is: fucking TRUST YOUR GUT. go to stores that often have things you like, or have a lot of variety. let your knowledge of that person guide you. hold what you considered in step 2 in your head. you'll do fine.

Step 3, option 2: Consider some stores that would have things this person likes (e.g. a gardening store if they like to garden). Go there and look around. If you don't find anything, ask an employee for advice -- or ask another friend who likes gardening. Or Google "gifts for gardeners". Whatever.

Step 3, option 1: Based on what you considered in step 2, if you could manifest the perfect gift within your budget, what would it be? It's very possible that someone online has already made that perfect gift. Go look it up! If it exists, buy it! If not, let your creativity flow -- go shop! Peruse!

Step 2: What are the gift recipient's interests? What do you think of when you think of them? Do you have inside jokes? Does this friend have a bit, or several, that they are committed to?

... or alternately, if you are tight on money right now (we all are!), go with something small and handmade and explain that when you give. Or suggest to your friend group that you do small/handmade for inclusion purposes! My friends and I are doing that this year.

Step 1: what are your budgetary restrictions? have you and your friends talked about it? if you have, go with the budget you all set (e.g. $10 per gift). if not, my usual vibes-based decision is something small/classic/cheap if a distant friend, $25-30 for a close friend, and more if a Big Deal...

I cannot explain why but "the silliest goose" in this context fills me with such fear and dread

That reads as almost embarrassingly naive now that I‘ve hit the reply button. But whatever, I’m allowed a tiny drop of optimism as a treat on this Sunday night