Choosing what to plant, and how much, considering the mandatory "sharing" with the critters, to increase the odds that there will be something left for me.

Maybe a year? Mine get used up before then. If you are careful to use clean utensils when taking some out, and keep them chilled, they'll last longer than if you're careless about them. Pay attention to their look and aroma and you'll know if they're past prime. They'd make great gifts.

Salt-cured lemons. Some say to preserve them whole but I cut mine into wedges, salt them (non-iodized) and pack them into jars, let sit on the counter for a few days, then refrigerate. Might have to top off with a little extra lemon juice. They get better with age.

It's not easy to get there. From the US you have to go into Canada, go west, then south back into the US, through customs inspections twice, each way (4x total.) Canadians only have to go through it once each way, but still... makes sense for the museum to be anywhere else.

They are the masters of oak propagation. If they have access to other areas, they can fly away and plant new oak trees far from the parent tree, which has all kinds of ecological benefits. Squirrels and gravity usually only plant them close by the source.

And rare earth minerals, as an alternate source instead of China.

You mean "Pope Yes"? That's what the font says.

If they're lumping spices with herbs, they don't know from beans. Herbs (leafy/stemmy) don't last as long as spices (seeds/bark/roots). Herbs go pretty fast esp when exposed to light/heat (rack of little jars on counter?) Whole spice seeds can last many years just fine (cool dark place.)

One option is to snip the plant close to the ground, hold it upside down and carry it to a well ventilated place (out of the rain) where it can be hung up to dry and continue to ripen the fruits that are on it.

(I see what you did there!!!)