All of my love and all of my life is borrowed - from you. I will give it back.

And maybe stop scrolling, searching the desert, expecting to find rain.

I've much love to give, but I can't do anything if you don't want it.

Speak to me...when you're ready.

I only ask you to be real. As real as you can manage. And whenever we depart, I ask only that you endeavor to be real with others.

Before you believed in penance through suffering.

Have I suffered enough?

It's a stupid question. I don't believe in suffering. All of my nerves are on fire right now but I am fucking ALIVE.

And I want a true friend in each of you.

Yes...YOU.

Speak to me. Tell me your wants, hopes, and dreams. Show me your frustrations. Beyond the struggle, the pain, and ceaseless noise plaguing your consciousness, I want to know:

What do you desire? As a child, what did you really want out of this world? Before your belief in doubt broke your dreams.

I've put off spending anything the last 8/10 black Fridays because of circumstances out of my control. I've been trying to build a future largely on my own. But there are some who are finally getting my message. I've asked for donations before, but...this time I want to ask for something different.

The future I want to build and the projects I have planned depend on this. And yes, they are technically my own responsibility, but it's all so much bigger than me. To give the world synesthesia, and then to remind it of what's really important in life (not money).

Thank you, as always.

I accept donations, reposts help, and my commissions are always open (for music, VR assets and avatars, ink/tattoo art, glow shapes, & digital art). I should not be on the road at all, but in front of a computer I'm still lucid, so my turnaround time is pretty fast.

www.paypal.com/pool/9hPym7O...

But I still need help. I'm still behind on my car payment ($885), rent ($350), and car insurance ($304). I can only drive in a limited capacity (I do Uber/Lyft, these expenses would be <25% of my net full-time income if I could work like usual) before I start falling asleep behind the wheel.

I can't use my CPAP because it just pumps air into my stomach. So, an old friend lent me $1300 to get that crown, so I can get a proper mold of my mouth for an anti-sleep apnea mouth guard. Inspire is an alternative but I'm quite young for that.

He said, "don't die you bastard." And I don't want to

Last month I pushed myself very hard to meet my basic expenses. I succeeded.

This month my executive functioning broke, again. I burnt out. And my insurance denied my crown, which would prevent me from getting my next sleep apnea treatment and put me perpetually 2 weeks away from my next milestone.