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b.astrel.la
B
@b.astrel.la
1K followers 210 following 120 posts
usually thinking about what it’s like to be people on the internet
married to @ericajoy.astrel.la
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b.astrel.la
wat
March 3, 2025 at 1:56 AM
b.astrel.la
i’m still not ready for it
March 2, 2025 at 4:09 AM
b.astrel.la
+++
February 26, 2025 at 12:57 AM
b.astrel.la
*raises paddle* $100
February 20, 2025 at 4:37 PM
b.astrel.la
i feel this so hard rn
February 20, 2025 at 1:45 AM
b.astrel.la
@mayoradenaishii.bsky.social for folks looking for the link here 😊
February 12, 2025 at 11:02 PM
Reposted by B
microsff.com
"Why did you come to this time? To warn us?"

The time traveler laughed. "Why would anyone listen to me?"

"You're from our future-"

"No, I'm from a different timeline, a different future. I'm a refugee."

"To here? Now?"

"It looks fucked right now, but this is the timeline that pulls through."
January 24, 2025 at 11:53 PM
Reposted by B
numb.comfortab.ly
Added alt text because lol (horrified)
My team's intern just found a critical bug by shitposting in our codebase So our summer intern (who I'm 90% sure is a professional shitposter moonlighting as a dev) just saved our entire authentication service by being, well, an absolute agent of chaos Background. We have this legacy auth system that's been running since before TikTok existed. No one touches it. It's documented in ancient Sanskrit and COBOL comments. The last guy who understood it fully left to become a yoga instructor in Peru Enter our intern. First week, he asks why our commit messages are so boring. Starts aditing memes to his Whatever, right? Then he begins leaving comments in the codebase like // This function is older than and prubably pays tares //1000: Ask if this while loop has health insurance // Here Lies Sarah's hopes and dreams (2019-2022), killed by this recursive call The senior devs were split between horrified and amused. But here's where it gets good, He's reading through the auth code (because "the commit messages here are too normal, sus") and adds this gem // yo why this token validation looking kinda thic though // fr froo cap this base64 decode bussin // wait... hold un... this sin't bussin at alt Turns out his Gen Z spider-sense wasn't just tingling for the memes. Man actually found a validation bypass that's been lurking in our code since Obama's first term. The kind of bug that makes security auditors wake up in cold sweats The best part? His Jira ticket title: "Auth be acting mad sus im no cap frfr (Critical Security Issue)" The worst part? We now have to explain to the CEO why "no cap frfr" appears in our Q3 security audit report. The absolute kicker? Out senior security engineer's official code review comment: "bestie this find ngi snapped with I can't tell if this is the peak or rock bottom of our engineering culture. But I do know our intern's getting a return offer, if only because I need to see what he'll do to our GraphQL documentation
January 23, 2025 at 6:41 PM