Ash Dylan
@ashdylan.bsky.social
writer, reader of romance | he/him
Pinned
Ash Dylan
@ashdylan.bsky.social
· May 18
My "romance novel comes to life and eats out a reader" romance is available wide!
Get NOT LIKE OTHER ROMANCE NOVELS wherever fine books are sold.
books2read.com/u/m2jvDr
Get NOT LIKE OTHER ROMANCE NOVELS wherever fine books are sold.
books2read.com/u/m2jvDr
“Sorry we’re late,” Elizabeth Bennet said as she sat at the table, sweaty and flushed.
“You look like you ran a Turkey Trot,” Mrs Bennet said.
“Yeah,” Mr Darcy smirked as he took his seat. “That’s what we were doing.”
“How long was it?” Mr Bennet asked. “5K?”
Elizabeth smiled. “Closer to 10.”
“You look like you ran a Turkey Trot,” Mrs Bennet said.
“Yeah,” Mr Darcy smirked as he took his seat. “That’s what we were doing.”
“How long was it?” Mr Bennet asked. “5K?”
Elizabeth smiled. “Closer to 10.”
November 27, 2025 at 12:41 PM
“Sorry we’re late,” Elizabeth Bennet said as she sat at the table, sweaty and flushed.
“You look like you ran a Turkey Trot,” Mrs Bennet said.
“Yeah,” Mr Darcy smirked as he took his seat. “That’s what we were doing.”
“How long was it?” Mr Bennet asked. “5K?”
Elizabeth smiled. “Closer to 10.”
“You look like you ran a Turkey Trot,” Mrs Bennet said.
“Yeah,” Mr Darcy smirked as he took his seat. “That’s what we were doing.”
“How long was it?” Mr Bennet asked. “5K?”
Elizabeth smiled. “Closer to 10.”
“I’m going to eat you,” I groaned, gripping and spreading those meaty thighs. Two fingers eased inside, then I sucked the juices. I lowered my lips to the moist center and whispered, “This is what I’m thankful for.”
Someone else at the table coughed. “Um, does anyone else want to give thanks?”
Someone else at the table coughed. “Um, does anyone else want to give thanks?”
November 27, 2025 at 12:35 PM
“I’m going to eat you,” I groaned, gripping and spreading those meaty thighs. Two fingers eased inside, then I sucked the juices. I lowered my lips to the moist center and whispered, “This is what I’m thankful for.”
Someone else at the table coughed. “Um, does anyone else want to give thanks?”
Someone else at the table coughed. “Um, does anyone else want to give thanks?”
Lizzy,
I will fold you like a Democrat in a negotiation.
Darcy
I will fold you like a Democrat in a negotiation.
Darcy
November 10, 2025 at 1:38 PM
Lizzy,
I will fold you like a Democrat in a negotiation.
Darcy
I will fold you like a Democrat in a negotiation.
Darcy
Romance writers have been talking about the affordability crisis for YEARS. Our characters constantly find themselves with only one bed.
November 5, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Romance writers have been talking about the affordability crisis for YEARS. Our characters constantly find themselves with only one bed.
Elizabeth,
Call me the government shutdown because I’m the longest in history.
Darcy
Call me the government shutdown because I’m the longest in history.
Darcy
November 5, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Elizabeth,
Call me the government shutdown because I’m the longest in history.
Darcy
Call me the government shutdown because I’m the longest in history.
Darcy
Elizabeth,
Call me Election Day because I want to fill every opening with D.
Darcy
Call me Election Day because I want to fill every opening with D.
Darcy
November 4, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Elizabeth,
Call me Election Day because I want to fill every opening with D.
Darcy
Call me Election Day because I want to fill every opening with D.
Darcy
Dear CBS,
If I wanted to see an asshole on TV for 60 minutes, I’d watch the home video I made with your mom.
Darcy
If I wanted to see an asshole on TV for 60 minutes, I’d watch the home video I made with your mom.
Darcy
November 3, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Dear CBS,
If I wanted to see an asshole on TV for 60 minutes, I’d watch the home video I made with your mom.
Darcy
If I wanted to see an asshole on TV for 60 minutes, I’d watch the home video I made with your mom.
Darcy
Elizabeth,
I don’t want to see 60 minutes of glistening orange flesh lying to my face.
I’d rather have 60 minutes of your glistening pink flesh lying on my face.
Darcy
I don’t want to see 60 minutes of glistening orange flesh lying to my face.
I’d rather have 60 minutes of your glistening pink flesh lying on my face.
Darcy
November 3, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Elizabeth,
I don’t want to see 60 minutes of glistening orange flesh lying to my face.
I’d rather have 60 minutes of your glistening pink flesh lying on my face.
Darcy
I don’t want to see 60 minutes of glistening orange flesh lying to my face.
I’d rather have 60 minutes of your glistening pink flesh lying on my face.
Darcy
Elizabeth,
You can have my Halloween candy.
I’d rather eat you.
Darcy
You can have my Halloween candy.
I’d rather eat you.
Darcy
October 31, 2025 at 11:41 PM
Elizabeth,
You can have my Halloween candy.
I’d rather eat you.
Darcy
You can have my Halloween candy.
I’d rather eat you.
Darcy
Give a person a fish, and they eat for a day, which is what the government should do.
Teach a person to fish, and the US will probably kill them in an airstrike to distract from the Epstein files.
Teach a person to fish, and the US will probably kill them in an airstrike to distract from the Epstein files.
October 29, 2025 at 7:18 PM
Give a person a fish, and they eat for a day, which is what the government should do.
Teach a person to fish, and the US will probably kill them in an airstrike to distract from the Epstein files.
Teach a person to fish, and the US will probably kill them in an airstrike to distract from the Epstein files.
Elizabeth,
Unlike the cost of groceries, I go down.
Darcy
Unlike the cost of groceries, I go down.
Darcy
October 27, 2025 at 12:59 PM
Elizabeth,
Unlike the cost of groceries, I go down.
Darcy
Unlike the cost of groceries, I go down.
Darcy
“Tariffs suck so hard they should be called Nancy Reagan” —Ronald Reagan
October 24, 2025 at 10:16 PM
“Tariffs suck so hard they should be called Nancy Reagan” —Ronald Reagan
Elizabeth,
I would never tariff your clothes.
But I’d tear off your clothes in a Meryton minute.
Darcy
I would never tariff your clothes.
But I’d tear off your clothes in a Meryton minute.
Darcy
October 24, 2025 at 3:44 PM
Elizabeth,
I would never tariff your clothes.
But I’d tear off your clothes in a Meryton minute.
Darcy
I would never tariff your clothes.
But I’d tear off your clothes in a Meryton minute.
Darcy
“What would Reagan think?” Canada panted.
“That this was wrong,” America rasped, slipping another finger inside its trading partner. “Very…” Kissing Canada’s neck. “Very…” Pressing into Canada’s core, wet as melting permafrost. “Wrong.”
America ripped off the tariffs and traded with Canada bare.
“That this was wrong,” America rasped, slipping another finger inside its trading partner. “Very…” Kissing Canada’s neck. “Very…” Pressing into Canada’s core, wet as melting permafrost. “Wrong.”
America ripped off the tariffs and traded with Canada bare.
October 24, 2025 at 12:42 PM
“What would Reagan think?” Canada panted.
“That this was wrong,” America rasped, slipping another finger inside its trading partner. “Very…” Kissing Canada’s neck. “Very…” Pressing into Canada’s core, wet as melting permafrost. “Wrong.”
America ripped off the tariffs and traded with Canada bare.
“That this was wrong,” America rasped, slipping another finger inside its trading partner. “Very…” Kissing Canada’s neck. “Very…” Pressing into Canada’s core, wet as melting permafrost. “Wrong.”
America ripped off the tariffs and traded with Canada bare.
A real President wouldn’t destroy the White House. They’d treasure it. Savor it. Run their fingers through the untrimmed Rose Garden. Explore the West Wing, the East. Then both at the same time. Easing into the White House until it was fully occupied, thrusting and demanding, “Whose house is this?”
October 23, 2025 at 2:15 PM
A real President wouldn’t destroy the White House. They’d treasure it. Savor it. Run their fingers through the untrimmed Rose Garden. Explore the West Wing, the East. Then both at the same time. Easing into the White House until it was fully occupied, thrusting and demanding, “Whose house is this?”
Trump: I’m a builder. I’m the best builder.
also Trump: This building costs $100 million more than I thought. Also it’s the ugliest piss colored piece of shit you’ve ever seen in your life.
also Trump: This building costs $100 million more than I thought. Also it’s the ugliest piss colored piece of shit you’ve ever seen in your life.
October 23, 2025 at 2:13 PM
Trump: I’m a builder. I’m the best builder.
also Trump: This building costs $100 million more than I thought. Also it’s the ugliest piss colored piece of shit you’ve ever seen in your life.
also Trump: This building costs $100 million more than I thought. Also it’s the ugliest piss colored piece of shit you’ve ever seen in your life.
Elizabeth,
I will wreck that pussy like it’s the East Wing of the White House.
Darcy
I will wreck that pussy like it’s the East Wing of the White House.
Darcy
October 23, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Elizabeth,
I will wreck that pussy like it’s the East Wing of the White House.
Darcy
I will wreck that pussy like it’s the East Wing of the White House.
Darcy
secret service: has anyone seen him?
unpaid construction workers: (putting the final brick in the wall of the new ballroom) nope
unpaid construction workers: (putting the final brick in the wall of the new ballroom) nope
October 21, 2025 at 10:27 PM
secret service: has anyone seen him?
unpaid construction workers: (putting the final brick in the wall of the new ballroom) nope
unpaid construction workers: (putting the final brick in the wall of the new ballroom) nope
“It’ll fit but it might wreck you” is for romance novels, not the White House
October 21, 2025 at 9:49 PM
“It’ll fit but it might wreck you” is for romance novels, not the White House
I want $230 million for reading that Trump wants $230 million for being investigated for crimes he obviously committed
October 21, 2025 at 9:45 PM
I want $230 million for reading that Trump wants $230 million for being investigated for crimes he obviously committed
Elizabeth,
Are you the Louvre? Because I’ll be in and out in 7 minutes.
Darcy
Are you the Louvre? Because I’ll be in and out in 7 minutes.
Darcy
October 20, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Elizabeth,
Are you the Louvre? Because I’ll be in and out in 7 minutes.
Darcy
Are you the Louvre? Because I’ll be in and out in 7 minutes.
Darcy
Elizabeth,
If the French police ask, tell them I was with you all morning. I’ll explain later.
In other news, I have something for you that will make a splash at the Meryton ball.
Darcy
If the French police ask, tell them I was with you all morning. I’ll explain later.
In other news, I have something for you that will make a splash at the Meryton ball.
Darcy
October 19, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Elizabeth,
If the French police ask, tell them I was with you all morning. I’ll explain later.
In other news, I have something for you that will make a splash at the Meryton ball.
Darcy
If the French police ask, tell them I was with you all morning. I’ll explain later.
In other news, I have something for you that will make a splash at the Meryton ball.
Darcy
what if a grumpy French detective had to work with a sunshine art historian to track down a missing painting and it was called FALLING IN LOUVRE
October 19, 2025 at 12:07 PM
what if a grumpy French detective had to work with a sunshine art historian to track down a missing painting and it was called FALLING IN LOUVRE
what if two protesters went to a march but there was Only One Costume TM and they shared it and got intimate and fell in love FOR REAL????
October 18, 2025 at 5:19 PM
what if two protesters went to a march but there was Only One Costume TM and they shared it and got intimate and fell in love FOR REAL????
Elizabeth,
Call me Mitch McConnell because I’m falling for you.
Darcy
Call me Mitch McConnell because I’m falling for you.
Darcy
October 16, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Elizabeth,
Call me Mitch McConnell because I’m falling for you.
Darcy
Call me Mitch McConnell because I’m falling for you.
Darcy