APrioriGoof
@apriorigoof.bsky.social
The cat is my cat, his name is Franklin, the orangest, he’s the greatest, everyone is saying thank you, thank you Mr Franklin
I think this is going to be a standout worst year in American History
January 29, 2026 at 6:00 AM
I think this is going to be a standout worst year in American History
Shelby Foote voice: “Well, before the war they used to say they were ‘yankin it’ But during the war ‘yankin’ was a dirty word. *chuckles*, well let’s just say that none of those brave boys were yankin a thing”
January 29, 2026 at 3:03 AM
Shelby Foote voice: “Well, before the war they used to say they were ‘yankin it’ But during the war ‘yankin’ was a dirty word. *chuckles*, well let’s just say that none of those brave boys were yankin a thing”
Pirates back in the pirate days were probably like “grog, be it true that we’ve seen nary a sliver of earth for coming on ten fortnights?” Glug glug glug
January 29, 2026 at 2:14 AM
Pirates back in the pirate days were probably like “grog, be it true that we’ve seen nary a sliver of earth for coming on ten fortnights?” Glug glug glug
Slop this slop that slop mania has taken the nation. Getting so much slop that you might even say slopslop
January 27, 2026 at 11:19 PM
Slop this slop that slop mania has taken the nation. Getting so much slop that you might even say slopslop
In high school French once the teacher kinda randomly went off about how governments were doing chem trails and I was like “why would they be spraying chemicals in the sky tho” and she was like “to stop global warming” and I was like “that’s sounds good then?”
January 26, 2026 at 7:18 PM
In high school French once the teacher kinda randomly went off about how governments were doing chem trails and I was like “why would they be spraying chemicals in the sky tho” and she was like “to stop global warming” and I was like “that’s sounds good then?”
Did Alex Pretti post on social media that he wanted insane, violent stuff to happen? Well, neither should you
January 25, 2026 at 3:14 AM
Did Alex Pretti post on social media that he wanted insane, violent stuff to happen? Well, neither should you
The more I read about who Alex Pretti was the more it makes sense that he was out there today helping people. I want to be more like him and I’m going to try
January 25, 2026 at 2:52 AM
The more I read about who Alex Pretti was the more it makes sense that he was out there today helping people. I want to be more like him and I’m going to try
I keep thinking about how that guy left his home this morning knowing that exactly this might happen. And he got murdered trying to help up a woman who was being assaulted by government thugs on an icy road. Alex Pretti was a hero and I’m not going to forget about him
January 25, 2026 at 1:37 AM
I keep thinking about how that guy left his home this morning knowing that exactly this might happen. And he got murdered trying to help up a woman who was being assaulted by government thugs on an icy road. Alex Pretti was a hero and I’m not going to forget about him
I think we all owe that google engineer who went public with thinking the new chatbot was a real guy a huge apology. That guy got clowned on. But, like, holy shit. It doesn’t just pass the Turing test. We don’t even talk about that shit anymore. Who can blame him, really, for being concerned?
January 23, 2026 at 5:14 AM
I think we all owe that google engineer who went public with thinking the new chatbot was a real guy a huge apology. That guy got clowned on. But, like, holy shit. It doesn’t just pass the Turing test. We don’t even talk about that shit anymore. Who can blame him, really, for being concerned?
Trying to explain to the cat that the AI said he shouldn’t eat pita chips but it’s just not getting through to him. I think he might be one of those anti-ai types
January 23, 2026 at 2:41 AM
Trying to explain to the cat that the AI said he shouldn’t eat pita chips but it’s just not getting through to him. I think he might be one of those anti-ai types
I’d be really down to watch the golfers do a real zany one every year. Like, a professionally designed zany one. Big as a real course, all 18 holes
January 19, 2026 at 9:09 AM
I’d be really down to watch the golfers do a real zany one every year. Like, a professionally designed zany one. Big as a real course, all 18 holes
Gotta say, playoff football has fucking delivered this year
January 19, 2026 at 2:47 AM
Gotta say, playoff football has fucking delivered this year
Learning and playing a musical instrument are amongst the most rewarding things you can do and they’re actually the same thing. The better I get with guitar the more I realize I could do this for the rest of my life and never get to some spot where I “have learned” to play
January 19, 2026 at 1:59 AM
Learning and playing a musical instrument are amongst the most rewarding things you can do and they’re actually the same thing. The better I get with guitar the more I realize I could do this for the rest of my life and never get to some spot where I “have learned” to play
Something that happens in Taco Bell commercials that simply doesn’t happen in real life is squirting the salsa out onto a plate like it’s ketchup then rubbing your burrito on that pool of salsa
January 17, 2026 at 9:52 PM
Something that happens in Taco Bell commercials that simply doesn’t happen in real life is squirting the salsa out onto a plate like it’s ketchup then rubbing your burrito on that pool of salsa
My upstairs neighbor: Man, that guy downstairs really nailed a trump impression for, like, a full minute. It was incredible. Now he won’t shut the fuck up
January 17, 2026 at 7:41 AM
My upstairs neighbor: Man, that guy downstairs really nailed a trump impression for, like, a full minute. It was incredible. Now he won’t shut the fuck up
There’s a guy at my office who has the worst fucking haircut oh my god I feel like such a catty bitch but he really does look like shit
January 16, 2026 at 6:44 PM
There’s a guy at my office who has the worst fucking haircut oh my god I feel like such a catty bitch but he really does look like shit
Seminary students be like “aaah, I totally forgot about my test of faith tomorrow”
January 15, 2026 at 7:19 PM
Seminary students be like “aaah, I totally forgot about my test of faith tomorrow”
American Nuremberg Trials gonna be like
January 15, 2026 at 12:18 AM
American Nuremberg Trials gonna be like
“Blue collar manual labor” you mean arts and crafts?
January 14, 2026 at 9:38 PM
“Blue collar manual labor” you mean arts and crafts?
All of the doobs at the doob store are full gram doobs. That’s insane, right? There was one pack of half gram doobs. That’s way too big a doob! Are folks just out there smoking full gram doobs? I bought flower and I’m rolling up like 1/10th gram doobs, max
January 14, 2026 at 7:55 AM
All of the doobs at the doob store are full gram doobs. That’s insane, right? There was one pack of half gram doobs. That’s way too big a doob! Are folks just out there smoking full gram doobs? I bought flower and I’m rolling up like 1/10th gram doobs, max
Just found out that Axe body spray brand products are called “Lynx” in UK and related countries. What a world
January 13, 2026 at 11:00 PM
Just found out that Axe body spray brand products are called “Lynx” in UK and related countries. What a world
Wondering if my career is going to be okay after I described to my coworkers how, like, we are to elephants, size wise, as cats and dogs are to us and they can even pick up full grown people with their trunks and carry us around and I wonder what it would be like to be an elephants pet
January 12, 2026 at 4:29 PM
Wondering if my career is going to be okay after I described to my coworkers how, like, we are to elephants, size wise, as cats and dogs are to us and they can even pick up full grown people with their trunks and carry us around and I wonder what it would be like to be an elephants pet
My opinion on Survivor is basically the same as my opinion on Jurassic Park. They keep going back to the same tired island when outer space is right there
January 11, 2026 at 7:40 PM
My opinion on Survivor is basically the same as my opinion on Jurassic Park. They keep going back to the same tired island when outer space is right there
In the future an ai agent will get drunk and watch football for me so that I don’t have to
January 11, 2026 at 6:42 PM
In the future an ai agent will get drunk and watch football for me so that I don’t have to