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aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
École des Bro-Arts
@aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
580 followers 62 following 1.1K posts
Switchy leatherman into bad puns, thick boys, and distributed systems. Purveyor of fine jockstrap selfies. Woof.group admin.

Jim Starkey: "Of interest only to third-rate […]

🌉 bridged from ⁂ https://woof.group/@aphyr, follow @ap.brid.gy to interact
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aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm trying to delete it
A poster for the British sitcom "Keeping Up Appearances", featuring Patricia Routledge, but edited to say "Keeping Up Academy Men"
November 20, 2025 at 3:08 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
the model cars

the vases

the potted plants

are we going to brunch at Hyacinth Bucket's house or is this an interrogation?
A man has his clothes ripped off him on a large bondage table. In the background is a glass case with several model vintage cars, and a large potted plant.
November 20, 2025 at 2:55 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
be trans, do governance
A Mamdani poster saying they raised $1M for the mayor-elect's transition fund
November 16, 2025 at 3:11 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
I've been hacking on a new visualization for database operations in Jepsen tests this week: https://aphyr.com/posts/399-op-color-plots
A timeseries plot showing writes to a queue based on whether they were read OK, lost, or unknown.
November 14, 2025 at 9:23 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Joining the Indivisible Spotify boycott today, to try and convince them to drop ads for ICE. This one is painful--I use Spotify constantly, and have been a subscriber for a decade. I've got a huge investment in playlists there, and they're one of the few services […]

[Original post on woof.group]
My cancellation message to Spotify, citing ICE and CBP brutality in my city.
October 29, 2025 at 4:08 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Oh man, this was probably my earliest full-length talk. My 2009 undergrad thesis, on the Casimir effect. If you ever wanted to learn about zero-point energy and how to subtract infinity from infinity, the slides might be a fun read: https://aphyr.com/media/comps-presentation.pdf
Some photons on a soccer field--the "electromagnetic field" The photons are sucked up by a vacuum cleaner A green light photon can lift a packing peanut about 10^-17 meters Even if you could build the half-life "gravity" gun using Casimir forces, it'd most likely only be useful for launching small molecules at viruses
October 27, 2025 at 4:44 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Pat Helland as Varys and Peter Bailis as Petyr Baelish
October 27, 2025 at 4:21 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
babe wake up. it's 2002 and I just put fluxbox on your thinkpad. we're gonna play jedi knight 2 tonight but first I need to borrow your external CD-RW to burn copies for everyone
A screenshot of a Linux desktop running Fluxbox, gkrellm2, and xmms with the 'ldc' theme. Matrix characters are sliding down the background. The CPU is maxed out and the user is playing a modified version of "dope wars", trading in laptops and trenchcoats.
October 27, 2025 at 3:58 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
tell me your bank's marketing dept is run by cishets without telling me etc etc
First Tech Credit Union informing me that "The FTMs are coming": their new "Freeasy Teller Machines".
October 26, 2025 at 10:20 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Re-upping this from 2022: I double-dog-dare someone to give a talk at a queer conference where every time you advance slides, you do it by hitting refresh on this web page:

https://aphyr.com/media/queer-theory/talk.html
Instability is the practitioner through which the constructivist futurity becomes phylogeny Biomedical theory arrives indirectly as freudian narrative Both violence and universal autonomy are also a interrogation There is something in the discrete residue which points outside the economy
October 26, 2025 at 8:51 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
2013, one of my early talks. Slides all drawn with a technical pen on graph paper, photographed with a DSLR, and cleaned up in Gimp.

https://aphyr.com/media/talks/2013/riemann-0.2.0.pdf
A slide showing lisp code for sending streamed events that match a certain tag to the graphite service, via an async queue A harrowed figure with "PAGERDUTY ALERT" blaring in the background A happy little event identified by spatial and temporal coordinates A waterwheel-driven mill which computes a rate of events flowing through it
October 26, 2025 at 8:15 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Throwback to 2011, before I started doing hand-drawn slides
A diagram of the Showyou HTTP stack: a pair of Nginx/Haproxy instances backed by a series of HTTP workers
October 26, 2025 at 1:36 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
So uhhhhh I've been through a lot of padlocks and it is *surprisingly* hard to find a well-proportioned, attractive, and properly weighted lock for a typical chain collar. Many locks are slightly too big or too small, or (as in the Titalium series or the […]

[Original post on woof.group]
Me with a typical chain collar and a nickel plated Abus lock Lock detail. It is finely cut, slightly convex, with horizontal brushing.
October 25, 2025 at 4:55 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Begging Apple to use a small part of their $400 billion/year in revenue to hire one (1) UX designer for the Apple TV app
October 22, 2025 at 2:46 AM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Sup bros
Me at the gym again, big surprise
October 20, 2025 at 4:14 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
New program has a pump day and I'm kind of loving doing lighter weights at high volume
Me flexing at the gym, surprise!
October 13, 2025 at 3:43 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Cleaning up old photo storage and oh my god remember before the pandemic when I had HAIR???
October 12, 2025 at 12:41 AM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
sorry, sorry, I'm trying to delete it
October 12, 2025 at 12:37 AM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Lats are coming in nicely right now, but I feel a little... deflated, if that makes sense. Been fighting recurring injuries and taking a lot of time off, or working with light weight, the last four months. Hoping that when I get my serratus anterior strengthened […]

[Original post on woof.group]
My back in a blue tank, at the gym.
September 27, 2025 at 12:53 AM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Dumb jock day at the gym
Me giving double bis in a locker room
September 26, 2025 at 9:07 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
If the Gay Agenda were real and we actually HAD infiltrated the highest echelons of US corporate power, Under Armour would stop making bland polos, re-release these tights, bring back jockstraps, and also their white shoulder-patch compression tees.
September 22, 2025 at 1:42 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Like Inigo Montoya, I have been hunting for a specific man for the last decade. Unlike Inigo Montoya, I mainly want to find him so I can steal these specific tights.
September 22, 2025 at 1:41 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
me: please cut this line and paste it above
vscode: gotcha boss
me: what is this
vscode: the line above the line you cut, boss
me: did I highlight wrong?
vscode: no boss
me: did I not press ^X?
vscode: no you did boss
me: did you not specifically cut the text I […]

[Original post on woof.group]
September 19, 2025 at 10:07 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
me, preparing to teach a class in java
September 19, 2025 at 8:13 PM
aphyr.woof.group.ap.brid.gy
Thanks Scruff, I hate it.
Scruff notifying me that "Jockslut shared a moment with you", which my watch is helpfully displaying while I'm trying to work.
September 16, 2025 at 10:19 PM