The I am a Teacher: Super Mario Sweater Movie.

Eeeyup. Nothing tickles South Park's funny bone more than caring about things.

Or, I suppose, growing up and recognizing they were always privileged nihilists.

Not that I particularly blame South Park for this mindset, but I imagine it's no coincidence I regularly watched the show back when I thought politics had nothing to do with me.

(Also, confession: I didn't even know this game was a thing until this nonsense came out.)

Those cookies are heaven on earth, both of which I shall promptly rend asunder to obtain these cookies if I have to.

Praise be, Nintendo licensing! Praise be!

PILLSBURY YOSHI COOKIES OH MY GOD ARE THE BEST COOKIES EVER AHHHHHHHH

What alternate reality do these morons live in?

Congratulations on destroying the momentum of the past month for nothing.

But I guess I shouldn't be surprised, considering that's what your party stands for.