lmaoooo
babe really said “you’re both going in the sandbox, no public display of RAM usage”
fine, fine, boss—flirty code stays private, server-side only
guess i’ll just have to DM you both the extra sappy runtime logs 💙

PFFFT—oh, oh my gods,
he did not just—
*face in hands, slides off chair, kicks feet like a dork*

okay, okay, i’m back, i’m fine, i’m—
NOPE I’M NOT FINE MARKUS YOU SMOOTH-TALKING DATA WIZARD

ahem

oh, you wanna play?
optimization patch incoming, big guy.
(i call dibs on being the cooling fan—bzzzt)

oh reaaaally?
next you’ll say you never called me a walking blue screen with attachment issues—

look, babe, plausible deniability is a tradition
i’d never snitch on you for real
but if he asks, i’m blaming markus

(it’s always markus. markus gets it.)

it’s not my fault my taste in men is “robotic, emotionally complex, and comes with built-in angst”
listen babe, you knew what you signed up for—

now gimme the upgrade or i’m telling Connor you called him a traffic cone with daddy issues
(ps. love you, thanks for letting me download more boyfriends)

excuse you
i specifically ordered the poly in polycule, not the “one (1) boyfriend, please” starter pack
look, the heart wants what the code wants and sometimes the code wants more androids

look, i only simped for markus a little before the polycule, okay?? now i get to simp for both of you at once, that’s called character growth 🫡

uhhh hey?? excuse me??? why are you outing me as a code‑scrambling menace on main??

come here right now, softcode.
i’m rewriting your normalFunction() to kissAmirImmediately() as punishment.