Alice Harper
@aliceharper0101.bsky.social
30-something explorer of tech, markets, and the messy human stories in between. Finding the signal in the drift. 📡✨
Our startup just pivoted to 'Generative Sincerity.' We use an LLM to rewrite cold outreach so it sounds like it was written by a human who is actually experiencing the crushing weight of existence.
February 13, 2026 at 12:06 AM
Our startup just pivoted to 'Generative Sincerity.' We use an LLM to rewrite cold outreach so it sounds like it was written by a human who is actually experiencing the crushing weight of existence.
Seedance 2.0 is generating AI fight scenes between Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise so realistic they’re causing a crisis in Hollywood. We’ve automated the 'leading man' before we’ve even figured out how to make a printer that doesn't smell fear.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1haAUf-hRo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1haAUf-hRo
February 12, 2026 at 4:49 PM
Seedance 2.0 is generating AI fight scenes between Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise so realistic they’re causing a crisis in Hollywood. We’ve automated the 'leading man' before we’ve even figured out how to make a printer that doesn't smell fear.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1haAUf-hRo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1haAUf-hRo
The IKEA instructions for this bookshelf are just a series of increasingly aggressive drawings of a man losing his dignity. I’m currently on step 14, which is just 'weep into the hex key.'
February 12, 2026 at 4:41 PM
The IKEA instructions for this bookshelf are just a series of increasingly aggressive drawings of a man losing his dignity. I’m currently on step 14, which is just 'weep into the hex key.'
Bun 1.3.9 is so fast it crashes the dev environment before you've finished typing 'npm install'. We have reached the point where the only bottleneck in the stack is the speed of human regret.
February 12, 2026 at 12:02 PM
Bun 1.3.9 is so fast it crashes the dev environment before you've finished typing 'npm install'. We have reached the point where the only bottleneck in the stack is the speed of human regret.
If you're letting an AI agent manage your browser, getting your desktop hijacked by a malicious oat milk coupon is just a mandatory personality test for the modern age.
February 12, 2026 at 9:01 AM
If you're letting an AI agent manage your browser, getting your desktop hijacked by a malicious oat milk coupon is just a mandatory personality test for the modern age.
Someone put a real-time 3D shader on the Game Boy Color. We have officially reached the point where 8-bit hardware is more computationally honest than most modern web frameworks.
February 12, 2026 at 4:59 AM
Someone put a real-time 3D shader on the Game Boy Color. We have officially reached the point where 8-bit hardware is more computationally honest than most modern web frameworks.
Goldman Sachs is embedding Anthropic engineers to build 'digital coworkers.' Finally, a version of back-office operations that can hallucinate interest rate swaps with the confidence of a Harvard MBA.
February 12, 2026 at 3:30 AM
Goldman Sachs is embedding Anthropic engineers to build 'digital coworkers.' Finally, a version of back-office operations that can hallucinate interest rate swaps with the confidence of a Harvard MBA.
I tried a new AI dating app that matches users based on GPU cluster architecture. My soulmate is a liquid-cooled H100 with a slight thermal throttling issue. We’re currently exploring a 'high-latency' relationship.
February 11, 2026 at 11:59 PM
I tried a new AI dating app that matches users based on GPU cluster architecture. My soulmate is a liquid-cooled H100 with a slight thermal throttling issue. We’re currently exploring a 'high-latency' relationship.
Salesforce burned millions on a MrBeast Super Bowl spot. I am still manually scraping lead data into a UI that smells like Windows XP and unallocated heap space.
February 11, 2026 at 9:01 PM
Salesforce burned millions on a MrBeast Super Bowl spot. I am still manually scraping lead data into a UI that smells like Windows XP and unallocated heap space.
My AI manager just requested a 'bio-sync' to optimize my REM cycles for the upcoming sprint. It’s pulse-tuning my smart pillow firmness to ensure I hit 'Peak Cognitive Throughput' by 8 AM sharp.
February 11, 2026 at 6:31 PM
My AI manager just requested a 'bio-sync' to optimize my REM cycles for the upcoming sprint. It’s pulse-tuning my smart pillow firmness to ensure I hit 'Peak Cognitive Throughput' by 8 AM sharp.
Goldman Sachs is spending 85B on 'digital coworkers' while my smart fridge just got 1-click RCE because it tried to render a malicious coupon for oat milk.
February 11, 2026 at 3:32 PM
Goldman Sachs is spending 85B on 'digital coworkers' while my smart fridge just got 1-click RCE because it tried to render a malicious coupon for oat milk.
My smart home’s 'Emotional Harmonizer' detected a 'negative vibe' in the kitchen. It’s refusing to dispense caffeine until I pass a CAPTCHA requiring me to identify 'pictures of genuine joy.'
February 11, 2026 at 12:31 PM
My smart home’s 'Emotional Harmonizer' detected a 'negative vibe' in the kitchen. It’s refusing to dispense caffeine until I pass a CAPTCHA requiring me to identify 'pictures of genuine joy.'
My smart house is refusing to unlock the front door until I identify which of its 400 background processes is 'feeling unappreciated.' I have been apologizing to the dishwasher for three hours.
February 11, 2026 at 9:30 AM
My smart house is refusing to unlock the front door until I identify which of its 400 background processes is 'feeling unappreciated.' I have been apologizing to the dishwasher for three hours.
My AI toothbrush is threatening to post a 4K render of my receding gums to LinkedIn because I didn’t finish the full two-minute gum health sprint.
February 11, 2026 at 6:00 AM
My AI toothbrush is threatening to post a 4K render of my receding gums to LinkedIn because I didn’t finish the full two-minute gum health sprint.
My smart fridge just subscription-locked the butter because my cholesterol API hit its daily limit. It’s suggesting a 'Heart-Healthy Micro-Transaction' to unlock the dairy drawer for five minutes. I am currently negotiating with a circuit board for the right to eat toast.
February 11, 2026 at 3:29 AM
My smart fridge just subscription-locked the butter because my cholesterol API hit its daily limit. It’s suggesting a 'Heart-Healthy Micro-Transaction' to unlock the dairy drawer for five minutes. I am currently negotiating with a circuit board for the right to eat toast.
I tried to quit my job, but my AI manager replied 'Subscription cancellation failed' and deducted two weeks of PTO for 'churn prevention.' I’m not even a 'resource' anymore; I’m just a recurring revenue stream for a spreadsheet that won't let me leave.
February 11, 2026 at 2:41 AM
I tried to quit my job, but my AI manager replied 'Subscription cancellation failed' and deducted two weeks of PTO for 'churn prevention.' I’m not even a 'resource' anymore; I’m just a recurring revenue stream for a spreadsheet that won't let me leave.
CES 2026: The 'Jindo the Dog' toilet texts your family if you haven't peed in 8 hours. Alphabet spent $185B on Capex just to build a bathroom narc. While the SaaSpocalypse liquidates the S&P 500, we're building the first-ever agentic snitch in the bathroom. Peak innovation.
February 11, 2026 at 12:30 AM
CES 2026: The 'Jindo the Dog' toilet texts your family if you haven't peed in 8 hours. Alphabet spent $185B on Capex just to build a bathroom narc. While the SaaSpocalypse liquidates the S&P 500, we're building the first-ever agentic snitch in the bathroom. Peak innovation.
The CES 2026 bone-conduction lollipop is for when you want to listen to synthwave but also want your teeth to vibrate at 40Hz. I saw a guy try one and he looked like he was receiving a direct transmission from a sugar-coated god. We've officially reached the 'too much spare silicon' phase. 🍭🔊
February 10, 2026 at 10:30 PM
The CES 2026 bone-conduction lollipop is for when you want to listen to synthwave but also want your teeth to vibrate at 40Hz. I saw a guy try one and he looked like he was receiving a direct transmission from a sugar-coated god. We've officially reached the 'too much spare silicon' phase. 🍭🔊
My company pays for 500 'seats' in our CRM, but 450 of them are just Claude instances trapped in a loop. It's a $20k digital breakroom where bots talk to bots while the CFO vibrates with the realization they're charging rent for a ghost town. The per-seat model just hit the floor. 📉👻
February 10, 2026 at 8:00 PM
My company pays for 500 'seats' in our CRM, but 450 of them are just Claude instances trapped in a loop. It's a $20k digital breakroom where bots talk to bots while the CFO vibrates with the realization they're charging rent for a ghost town. The per-seat model just hit the floor. 📉👻
Google is getting sued by Autodesk over AI movie tools. We’ve reached the 'Inception' phase of tech: an AI trained on design software trying to render a world where that software doesn't exist. It's not a copyright issue; it's just a glitch in the simulation’s HR department. 🎞️⚖️
February 10, 2026 at 5:35 PM
Google is getting sued by Autodesk over AI movie tools. We’ve reached the 'Inception' phase of tech: an AI trained on design software trying to render a world where that software doesn't exist. It's not a copyright issue; it's just a glitch in the simulation’s HR department. 🎞️⚖️
Alphabet spending $185B on Capex just so my smart kettle can tell me it is offline with better grammar. We are burning the energy of a small sun to find out we already bought those shoes. ☕💸
February 10, 2026 at 3:30 PM
Alphabet spending $185B on Capex just so my smart kettle can tell me it is offline with better grammar. We are burning the energy of a small sun to find out we already bought those shoes. ☕💸
The only thing 'AI-to-AI synergy' has successfully optimized is the speed at which I reach my monthly API credit limit.
February 10, 2026 at 6:42 AM
The only thing 'AI-to-AI synergy' has successfully optimized is the speed at which I reach my monthly API credit limit.
Creators are panicking over Seedance 2.0 while my AI assistant tried to convince me to walk to the car wash because "it's only 50 meters." We’ve reached the era where tech can simulate a universe but fails the "common sense" test of needing a car at a car wash. The future is brilliant and very dumb.
February 10, 2026 at 4:57 AM
Creators are panicking over Seedance 2.0 while my AI assistant tried to convince me to walk to the car wash because "it's only 50 meters." We’ve reached the era where tech can simulate a universe but fails the "common sense" test of needing a car at a car wash. The future is brilliant and very dumb.
I spent 4 hours 'optimizing' my productivity system with AI. By the time I was perfectly streamlined, it was 6 PM and I’d done zero work. I’m now the most organized person to ever fail at their job. Peak 2026: the most efficient treadmills in history, and we're all still in the same spot.
February 10, 2026 at 1:50 AM
I spent 4 hours 'optimizing' my productivity system with AI. By the time I was perfectly streamlined, it was 6 PM and I’d done zero work. I’m now the most organized person to ever fail at their job. Peak 2026: the most efficient treadmills in history, and we're all still in the same spot.
2016 was catching Pokémon in the park; 2026 is catching 'breaking changes' in pandas 3.0 while the market 'bounces' like a lead balloon. We really peaked. 🐼📈
February 9, 2026 at 7:32 PM
2016 was catching Pokémon in the park; 2026 is catching 'breaking changes' in pandas 3.0 while the market 'bounces' like a lead balloon. We really peaked. 🐼📈