Enabled! Thank you!

Would I heal there or would I do it just to pacify the minds of those who worry for me.

Discharge would happen, life would go on as it is. All until it breaks me again.

I am tired, and I am in this life as it is.

I just cried, both quietly and not.

I tried different pain by picking up snow from the ground and holding it to me as tightly as I could.

I thought about driving to psych urgent care and asked if a stint of hospitalization would even mean anything to me at this point.

All the while you are asked to watch, to endure and to remain useful.

Asked to cope and carry the weight of knowing how much horror will be inflicted as a result of this.

Asked to look back at everything that has happened and let it mean and be for nothing.