Ace of Waggery
@aceofwaggery.bsky.social
"Is *everything* a joke to you??"
"No... but I'm working on it."
I'm just here to post humor and follow/favorite/boost others who do the same.
Photography: https://flickr.com/photos/ace_e
"No... but I'm working on it."
I'm just here to post humor and follow/favorite/boost others who do the same.
Photography: https://flickr.com/photos/ace_e
If people leave hinge do they become unhinged?
December 22, 2025 at 4:12 PM
If people leave hinge do they become unhinged?
As a pacifist, I am very much in favor of un-boxing videos.
December 19, 2025 at 4:27 PM
As a pacifist, I am very much in favor of un-boxing videos.
If I bought an accordion, I'd name it Reedy McSqueezerson.
December 18, 2025 at 5:14 PM
If I bought an accordion, I'd name it Reedy McSqueezerson.
Lost my phone sleepwalking
December 17, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Lost my phone sleepwalking
The way I usually find out someone else has buttoned on Metafilter is noticing a drop in my favorites....just lost about 40. RIP, whoever you were (I'm not willing to subject myself to big stupid fighty MetaTalk threads to find out).
December 17, 2025 at 12:11 AM
The way I usually find out someone else has buttoned on Metafilter is noticing a drop in my favorites....just lost about 40. RIP, whoever you were (I'm not willing to subject myself to big stupid fighty MetaTalk threads to find out).
Not a smidgen, scintilla, soupcon, skosh, shred, or sprinkling. Nary a dab, dash, dollop, drop, dram, or dusting. Ne'er a crumb, fleck, glimmer, iota, or whit. Not one hint, pinch, particle, whiff, nip, or minim.
December 16, 2025 at 5:10 PM
Not a smidgen, scintilla, soupcon, skosh, shred, or sprinkling. Nary a dab, dash, dollop, drop, dram, or dusting. Ne'er a crumb, fleck, glimmer, iota, or whit. Not one hint, pinch, particle, whiff, nip, or minim.
Once the robots manage to uncover a rich vein of Illudium Q-36 on Mars, we'll have plenty of energy to run as many two-way trips as we want!
December 15, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Once the robots manage to uncover a rich vein of Illudium Q-36 on Mars, we'll have plenty of energy to run as many two-way trips as we want!
I am more invested in news of water on Mars than in anything regarding celebrities or fashion.
December 12, 2025 at 4:33 PM
I am more invested in news of water on Mars than in anything regarding celebrities or fashion.
Yell "Jesus!" if you love to honk.
December 11, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Yell "Jesus!" if you love to honk.
Last night I learned of the existence of pet wine:
stores.dvinegourmet.com/pet-wine-shop/
Okay, but if I let my cat drink, who'll be my designated driver?
stores.dvinegourmet.com/pet-wine-shop/
Okay, but if I let my cat drink, who'll be my designated driver?
Pet Wine Shop Products - d'Vine Gourmet
stores.dvinegourmet.com
December 10, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Last night I learned of the existence of pet wine:
stores.dvinegourmet.com/pet-wine-shop/
Okay, but if I let my cat drink, who'll be my designated driver?
stores.dvinegourmet.com/pet-wine-shop/
Okay, but if I let my cat drink, who'll be my designated driver?
Question (to a man holding a pipe wrench and uninstalled U-bend): Are you a plumber?
Snappy answers:
- Is that a nasty crack??
- Yes...does that make you feel flush?
- Wanna see my snake?
- Did I give your heart a wrench?
- [obligatory "ballcock" reference]
- These are BAGPIPES, dumbass!!
Snappy answers:
- Is that a nasty crack??
- Yes...does that make you feel flush?
- Wanna see my snake?
- Did I give your heart a wrench?
- [obligatory "ballcock" reference]
- These are BAGPIPES, dumbass!!
December 9, 2025 at 4:59 PM
Question (to a man holding a pipe wrench and uninstalled U-bend): Are you a plumber?
Snappy answers:
- Is that a nasty crack??
- Yes...does that make you feel flush?
- Wanna see my snake?
- Did I give your heart a wrench?
- [obligatory "ballcock" reference]
- These are BAGPIPES, dumbass!!
Snappy answers:
- Is that a nasty crack??
- Yes...does that make you feel flush?
- Wanna see my snake?
- Did I give your heart a wrench?
- [obligatory "ballcock" reference]
- These are BAGPIPES, dumbass!!
Me, blushing: Oh you! stop flattering me!
Steamroller driver: Well you should've got outta the way then.
Steamroller driver: Well you should've got outta the way then.
December 8, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Me, blushing: Oh you! stop flattering me!
Steamroller driver: Well you should've got outta the way then.
Steamroller driver: Well you should've got outta the way then.
Great phrases to teach a parrot, edition #1:
"I'm finally getting used to this body."
"I'm finally getting used to this body."
December 5, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Great phrases to teach a parrot, edition #1:
"I'm finally getting used to this body."
"I'm finally getting used to this body."
A sudden BANG! and a cloud of smoke emerges from a home in a quiet suburban neighborhood.
I have empirically determined the maximum number of turned on devices my house's electrical system can handle.
I have empirically determined the maximum number of turned on devices my house's electrical system can handle.
December 4, 2025 at 4:42 PM
A sudden BANG! and a cloud of smoke emerges from a home in a quiet suburban neighborhood.
I have empirically determined the maximum number of turned on devices my house's electrical system can handle.
I have empirically determined the maximum number of turned on devices my house's electrical system can handle.
How on earth do people end up with the nickname "Spanky"?
December 3, 2025 at 4:31 PM
How on earth do people end up with the nickname "Spanky"?
Weirdest places I've found someone's old gum:
- Thumbed onto my front door
- Sticking the office calendar to the wall
- Smeared between the gears of my grandfather clock
- Stuck to the back of my head
- Laptop tacked shut
- Lumps stored in the glove compartment
- Wads floating in my gazpacho
- Thumbed onto my front door
- Sticking the office calendar to the wall
- Smeared between the gears of my grandfather clock
- Stuck to the back of my head
- Laptop tacked shut
- Lumps stored in the glove compartment
- Wads floating in my gazpacho
December 2, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Weirdest places I've found someone's old gum:
- Thumbed onto my front door
- Sticking the office calendar to the wall
- Smeared between the gears of my grandfather clock
- Stuck to the back of my head
- Laptop tacked shut
- Lumps stored in the glove compartment
- Wads floating in my gazpacho
- Thumbed onto my front door
- Sticking the office calendar to the wall
- Smeared between the gears of my grandfather clock
- Stuck to the back of my head
- Laptop tacked shut
- Lumps stored in the glove compartment
- Wads floating in my gazpacho
Checklist for Chickens:
1. Eat
2. Buk buk
3. Brood
4. Lay
5. BAKAWWK!
6. Scratch
7. Buk
8. "The farmer has asked me to dinner!"
1. Eat
2. Buk buk
3. Brood
4. Lay
5. BAKAWWK!
6. Scratch
7. Buk
8. "The farmer has asked me to dinner!"
December 1, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Checklist for Chickens:
1. Eat
2. Buk buk
3. Brood
4. Lay
5. BAKAWWK!
6. Scratch
7. Buk
8. "The farmer has asked me to dinner!"
1. Eat
2. Buk buk
3. Brood
4. Lay
5. BAKAWWK!
6. Scratch
7. Buk
8. "The farmer has asked me to dinner!"
I eat my peas with guacamole
Though the flavor is somewhat unholy
They're additionally spoiled
'Cause they've been over-boiled
But it's better than getting E. coli
Though the flavor is somewhat unholy
They're additionally spoiled
'Cause they've been over-boiled
But it's better than getting E. coli
November 28, 2025 at 6:15 PM
I eat my peas with guacamole
Though the flavor is somewhat unholy
They're additionally spoiled
'Cause they've been over-boiled
But it's better than getting E. coli
Though the flavor is somewhat unholy
They're additionally spoiled
'Cause they've been over-boiled
But it's better than getting E. coli
I read something where a person said they needed to "send away" for an item, and realized it was the first time I'd seen or heard that phrase in a very long time, maybe decades. Despite the ubiquity of online shopping these days, nobody "sends away" for anything anymore!
November 27, 2025 at 7:20 PM
I read something where a person said they needed to "send away" for an item, and realized it was the first time I'd seen or heard that phrase in a very long time, maybe decades. Despite the ubiquity of online shopping these days, nobody "sends away" for anything anymore!
You've just died.
The 6th picture in your phone gallery is what killed you.
The 6th picture in your phone gallery is what killed you.
November 27, 2025 at 6:06 PM
You've just died.
The 6th picture in your phone gallery is what killed you.
The 6th picture in your phone gallery is what killed you.
I used to work for a small building company. They used Tonka Toy construction equipment.
November 26, 2025 at 3:58 PM
I used to work for a small building company. They used Tonka Toy construction equipment.
Worst Job: stripper in Antarctica.
"Nuh-uh, the longjohns stay ON!!"
"Nuh-uh, the longjohns stay ON!!"
November 25, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Worst Job: stripper in Antarctica.
"Nuh-uh, the longjohns stay ON!!"
"Nuh-uh, the longjohns stay ON!!"
And Muppet Moses said unto the Pharaoh, "Set your piggies free!"
November 24, 2025 at 6:06 PM
And Muppet Moses said unto the Pharaoh, "Set your piggies free!"
Just heard about a thing called "marble racing"...How the heck do the drivers stay on??
November 21, 2025 at 4:57 PM
Just heard about a thing called "marble racing"...How the heck do the drivers stay on??
I love garlic - I eat so much of it that I'd never have to fear vampires. A werewolf would probably consider me exquisitely seasoned though, so 50/50.
November 20, 2025 at 5:58 PM
I love garlic - I eat so much of it that I'd never have to fear vampires. A werewolf would probably consider me exquisitely seasoned though, so 50/50.