Solution: buy CDs

I should have specified the Lemon Demon alias

Man, I wish I had some cool family history like my grandfather dying in a mysterious plane crash (joke alert?)

Imma set that as my profile picture on a random website

all the sleep watchers are clones of Neil in sickly old man costumes. Neil made the clones so that he could watch more people sleep so he can harness more dream/sleep energy. Why? To take over the world.

I feel "uncultured" now because I haven't read Columbo. Now I gotta go read the whole series brb