Author | Lightnews

Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · 1d

Legend has it Cuomo is still waiting to pick up his daughters under the Kosciuszko Bridge

Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · 6d

The concept of hot ice cream is diabolical but I hope Tyra makes a root beer flavor and calls it “We were all rooting for you”

Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · 6d

The fact that the thieves at the Louvre didn’t steal the Mona Lisa just proves how overrated it is

Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · 26d

Contrary to what some may think, the fact that I’m considering buying a prepackaged Halloween costume this year is a recession indicator

Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · 28d

Ever since I googled how to make the perfect omelette, I’ve been burning my omelettes. Yet another reason the internet was a mistake

Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · Sep 29

I could totally be poly as long as everyone I’m dating considers me their primary partner. Or ideally their only partner. And I would only kiss and be intimate with one of the people

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Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · Sep 27

So it’s Fat Bear Week and not all of the bears have names??? GIVE. ALL. THE. BEARS. NAMES.

Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · Sep 16

Time to shed my white toenail polish in preparation for fall

Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · Sep 16

New Substack post about yet another pet peeve of mine zolaray.substack.com/p/youre-hand...

"You're Handling This Really Well"

Disappointment, strength, and a weird pet peeve of mine

zolaray.substack.com

Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · Sep 15

As a kid I was given the impression that there would be far more scenarios in which I’d find money and be able to return it to its rightful owner

Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · Sep 9

My desire to hold onto summer is in conflict with the fact that I’m already looking at Halloween costumes

Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · Sep 8

A case that never sat right with me: that person who doesn’t want to be my friend even though I’m so much fun

Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · Sep 6

Crocs on the subway? Fine. But to have them not in sport mode? You’re playing a dangerous game, my friend

Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · Sep 3

Remember those Clear Eyes commercials with Ben Stein? That’s the energy that every video from Cuomo’s campaign has except Cuomo’s not acting bland as a joke, he’s actually like that

Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · Sep 3

“Will you call me in?” - Colbie Caillat trying to do better and hold herself accountable

Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · Sep 1

Before you post your “end of summer” photo dump, THINK:

T: Is summer actually over?
H: Is it September 21st yet?
I: Is it upsetting to your friends with seasonal affective disorder?
N: What about global warming?
K: Please slow down

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Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · Sep 1

My love language is Esperanto in the sense that I try to be liked by everyone but I’m understood by no one

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Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · Aug 28

Check out my latest Substack post about my ongoing struggle to be fashionable
zolaray.substack.com/p/ive-always...

I've Always Wanted To Be Stylish

But it's just so daunting.

zolaray.substack.com

Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · Aug 27

If you see a Gen X or boomer staring at their phone, you know you’re about to hear that one wheezing laugh sound from Reels

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Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · Aug 27

If removing the man from the Cracker Barrel logo made it “woke”, does that mean Protestants are more “woke” than Catholics since their cross doesn’t have Jesus on it?

Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · Aug 26

Last night was a Modern Family episode (lots of miscommunication)

Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · Aug 22

I saw it on your story and was wondering where you got it only to find out you MADE it?? Looks amazing!

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Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · Aug 14

I need to have an emotional support Gmail tab open on my computer at all times

Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · Aug 6

Sometimes I do this quirky thing where I think a one-hour nap will make up for a lifetime of sleep deprivation

Zola Ray @zolamray.bsky.social · Jul 29

I hate when people say “if your boyfriend takes bad pictures of you, he doesn’t love you.” Have you never heard of people being bad at things?