Zack Bornstein
@zackbornstein.bsky.social
Emmy-losing Writer/Director (#Shrinking, @nbcSNL, @Netflix, @Hulu, @Dreamworks, @JimmyKimmelLive, #StrangePlanet, @NewYorker)
POV: You’re about to be asked the worst 3 riddles you’ve ever heard to cross this bridge
November 28, 2025 at 10:10 PM
POV: You’re about to be asked the worst 3 riddles you’ve ever heard to cross this bridge
Happy Spider-Man Rimming Uncle Sam Day to all who celebrate
November 28, 2025 at 2:39 AM
Happy Spider-Man Rimming Uncle Sam Day to all who celebrate
Safe topics for your family Thanksgiving:
-Hamas
-Everyone’s weight, net worth
-Lives that matter
-Only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun
-Who AI will replace first
-Who controls a woman’s body
-Sydney Sweeney ads
-Best ethnicity
-The Jews, general or specific
-Trump hot?
-Hamas
-Everyone’s weight, net worth
-Lives that matter
-Only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun
-Who AI will replace first
-Who controls a woman’s body
-Sydney Sweeney ads
-Best ethnicity
-The Jews, general or specific
-Trump hot?
November 27, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Safe topics for your family Thanksgiving:
-Hamas
-Everyone’s weight, net worth
-Lives that matter
-Only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun
-Who AI will replace first
-Who controls a woman’s body
-Sydney Sweeney ads
-Best ethnicity
-The Jews, general or specific
-Trump hot?
-Hamas
-Everyone’s weight, net worth
-Lives that matter
-Only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun
-Who AI will replace first
-Who controls a woman’s body
-Sydney Sweeney ads
-Best ethnicity
-The Jews, general or specific
-Trump hot?
BREAKING: Trump pardons turkey who appeared 28 times on Epstein flight logs
November 25, 2025 at 5:16 PM
BREAKING: Trump pardons turkey who appeared 28 times on Epstein flight logs
this is killing me, why would they choose a model who looks so deeply scared and uncomfortable
November 24, 2025 at 10:00 PM
this is killing me, why would they choose a model who looks so deeply scared and uncomfortable
When you’re crushing so hard you start dressing like them
November 23, 2025 at 1:40 AM
When you’re crushing so hard you start dressing like them
Whoever finds a way to put 30g of protein in a cigarette will become the first trillionaire
November 21, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Whoever finds a way to put 30g of protein in a cigarette will become the first trillionaire
I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked
November 21, 2025 at 6:16 PM
I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked
why does everyone keep saying I have sad eyes
November 21, 2025 at 3:22 AM
why does everyone keep saying I have sad eyes
just realized my cats probably think I spend 10 hours a day in the garage
November 18, 2025 at 6:31 PM
just realized my cats probably think I spend 10 hours a day in the garage
It’s truly bananas we’re expected to go about our lives eating lunch and putting on pants like the President isn’t a well documented child sex predator who was best friends with the king of child sex predators
November 17, 2025 at 7:37 PM
It’s truly bananas we’re expected to go about our lives eating lunch and putting on pants like the President isn’t a well documented child sex predator who was best friends with the king of child sex predators
CNN: Trump in Epstein files
NBC: Trump in Epstein files
ABC: Trump in Epstein files
FOX:
NBC: Trump in Epstein files
ABC: Trump in Epstein files
FOX:
November 15, 2025 at 9:00 PM
CNN: Trump in Epstein files
NBC: Trump in Epstein files
ABC: Trump in Epstein files
FOX:
NBC: Trump in Epstein files
ABC: Trump in Epstein files
FOX:
Democrats with no leverage: Give in to GOP
Democrats with all the leverage, social mandate, moral authority, clear achievable win in sight: Give in to GOP
Democrats with all the leverage, social mandate, moral authority, clear achievable win in sight: Give in to GOP
November 10, 2025 at 10:24 PM
Democrats with no leverage: Give in to GOP
Democrats with all the leverage, social mandate, moral authority, clear achievable win in sight: Give in to GOP
Democrats with all the leverage, social mandate, moral authority, clear achievable win in sight: Give in to GOP
I don’t understand why Trump’s approval rating is finally slipping when he’s building a golden ballroom at his house while actively stopping 42 million Americans from getting food stamps, 40% of whom are children
November 8, 2025 at 3:25 AM
I don’t understand why Trump’s approval rating is finally slipping when he’s building a golden ballroom at his house while actively stopping 42 million Americans from getting food stamps, 40% of whom are children
I don’t understand how Trump lost so much ground from a year ago after spending every single day making people’s lives hell while raking in $3 billion in Qatari bribes through his crypto coin
November 6, 2025 at 10:13 PM
I don’t understand how Trump lost so much ground from a year ago after spending every single day making people’s lives hell while raking in $3 billion in Qatari bribes through his crypto coin
If 3 people in a row don’t pick up your call it’s because everyone you’ve ever met is in a room together voting on your greatest flaw
November 2, 2025 at 11:00 PM
If 3 people in a row don’t pick up your call it’s because everyone you’ve ever met is in a room together voting on your greatest flaw
I don’t understand why dating is so hard, all I’m looking for is a new best friend from scratch who I’m willing to die for that must get along with all my family and friends and have comparable ambition and identical values and wild sexual chemistry with me and no else forever
October 31, 2025 at 12:22 AM
I don’t understand why dating is so hard, all I’m looking for is a new best friend from scratch who I’m willing to die for that must get along with all my family and friends and have comparable ambition and identical values and wild sexual chemistry with me and no else forever
At the end of the day, we are all Americans. Sure, we have differences on policy. One side wants to give everyone healthcare and good wages. The other wants to create a white Christian ethnostate where the president can legally assassinate anyone at will. But we are not enemies.
October 29, 2025 at 6:54 PM
At the end of the day, we are all Americans. Sure, we have differences on policy. One side wants to give everyone healthcare and good wages. The other wants to create a white Christian ethnostate where the president can legally assassinate anyone at will. But we are not enemies.
ah yes another beautiful morning, time to decide if I want to be informed and frozen in panic, or willfully ignorant with a numbing background dread
October 23, 2025 at 11:33 PM
ah yes another beautiful morning, time to decide if I want to be informed and frozen in panic, or willfully ignorant with a numbing background dread
Not gonna lie toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority
October 17, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Not gonna lie toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority
Hot girl summer is over. It’s divorce lawyer fall.
September 27, 2025 at 5:51 PM
Hot girl summer is over. It’s divorce lawyer fall.
me before and after seeing a tasty looking pie being sliced up
September 24, 2025 at 6:55 AM
me before and after seeing a tasty looking pie being sliced up
love to fit into this world
September 22, 2025 at 10:19 PM
love to fit into this world
if only there was some kind of amendment that could prevent this from happening. pretty important stuff too, id prolly put it first
Under threat from Trump's FCC chairman, ABC takes Jimmy Kimmel off the air for remarks on Charlie Kirk that the MAGA right deemed offensive. www.nytimes.com/2025/09/17/b...
ABC Pulls Jimmy Kimmel Off Air for Charlie Kirk Comments
www.nytimes.com
September 18, 2025 at 1:17 AM
if only there was some kind of amendment that could prevent this from happening. pretty important stuff too, id prolly put it first
Emmys 8 years apart
September 17, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Emmys 8 years apart