Author | Lightnews

YouCleanItUp

@youcleanitup.bsky.social

320 followers 230 following 2.2K posts

Commercial? Fuck you commercial, okay?

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YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · Nov 22

The @neilhamburger.bsky.social / Charles Manson connection:

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YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 12m

Many people get this confused, but Herbert Hoover was the president and J. Edgar Hoover was the guy who invented the vacuum cleaner.

YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 9h

They're injecting me with sparkling rainbows at the hospital's new Lisa Frank wing.

YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 2d

Reposted by YouCleanItUp

Fulsome Prism @fulsome-prism.bsky.social · 3d

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YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 4d

Reskeet if you agree that we need more Tripp Spencer! #OCATC

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YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 4d

Tomorrow is morphsuit Monday so be sure to wear a morphsuit to work.

Person in blue morphsuit giving the camera a thumbs up

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YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 4d

YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 4d

Did the guy from Suicidal Tendencies ever get the Pepsi he wanted or not?

YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 5d

Shoved an AirTag up my ass so I won't get lost.

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YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 5d

To protect my modesty all of my boxer briefs feature a pixelated photo of my dick, balls, and ass.

YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 6d

*walks into Apple Store with wheelbarrow full of Steve Jobs dollar coins*

Hello, I would like to buy all the hot new Apple products, please!

YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 7d

Olive Garden: When you're here, you're family. That's why I'm booking my own funeral at Olive Garden.

YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 7d

Wasn't too dangerous for Vanna White!

YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 7d

The best part of Bill Clinton's State of the Union addresses was when he'd deliver a sweeping saxophone solo.

Bill Clinton wearing sunglasses and playing the sax

YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 8d

In addition to the existing fee structure, TicketMaster's new policy allows their CEO to come to your house, bend you over, and fuck you up the ass.

YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 8d

Current mood:

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YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 9d

Here's a portrait of RFK Jr. I made:

Baseball glove topped with gray fur and two blue marbles for eyes

YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 9d

Elevators should have a "Surprise Me" button for all those times you're not concerned about which floor you're heading to.

YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 10d

A lot of lives could have been saved if the Allies had set up a Change.org petition to stop Hitler.

YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 10d

The UK version of Jeff Goldblum is Jonathan Pryce.

YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 11d

They beat the shit out of Jared Leto because the new Tron movie flopped, and it's all your fault for not going to see it in theaters. I hope you're happy with yourself.

Jared Leto after getting beat up in the movie Fight Club

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YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 11d

Aw shit, I knew I shouldn’t have been carving this pumpkin while fucking it. #NotHavingKidsNow

YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 11d

That one time Kermit the Frog became Mike Love.

YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 12d

Let's start with the National Guard addressing crime in the White House.

YouCleanItUp @youcleanitup.bsky.social · 12d

Who else remembers the controversial 1989 TV special "Garfield’s Oriental Vacation" in which Garfield knocks up Hello Kitty before getting kidnapped and forced to work at a Tokyo cat cafe?