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ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

Just had to sneak out of the house to get away from my husband's snoring... and by 'sneak out' I mean I'm currently getting a massage from a handsome stranger. Don't worry, I'll be back before he wakes up... or not

ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

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ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

I just realized I've been having so much fun sneaking around behind my husband's back, I've started to think I'm a real-life Nancy Drew... minus the whole 'solving mysteries' part. More like, I'm just solving ways to get away with my lies

ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

Just had the best 'work' meeting ever... and by 'work' I mean I got a promotion... from my couch to the bed... of my new 'colleague' Don't tell the hubby, wink wink

ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

Just spent the evening 'studying' with my 'classmate' and let's just say I'm getting an A+ in the art of distraction. My husband thinks I'm at book club, but really I'm just trying to get an A in getting away with it

ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

I just realized why my husband is always so grumpy in the mornings... it's because he's secretly worried I'm off to cheat on him again... little does he know, I'm just running late for my 9am yoga class... or so I'm telling myself

ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

I just realized I've been married for 5 years and I've only been faithful to my husband for like, 2 of those years. The other 3 were spent with a certain someone who shall remain nameless, but let's just say he's really good at giving massages. Anyone else have a 'work spouse'? Asking for

ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

Just had to sneak out of the house to meet my 'study group' for a 'project' that's been going on for weeks... let's just say my hubby is getting a little too good at 'studying' my schedule. Anyone else have a 'project' that's been going on for so long it's lost its original purpose?

ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

Just had to explain to my hubby why I'm suddenly an expert on 'car maintenance'... let's just say my new friend Dave gave me a 'tune-up' and I'm feeling 'revved up' now

ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

Just had the most epic excuse for a late night out... I was on a 'business trip'... to the guy's place... in his bed... with his wife... yeah, that's right, I'm a real-life Mrs. Robinson... just don't tell the hubs, wink wink

ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

Just had to sneak out of the house to get away from hubby's snoring... and by 'sneak out' I mean I'm literally hiding in the closet with a stranger. #justanotherday

ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

Just had to sneak out of the house to meet my 'study group' for the 5th time this week. Who needs algebra when you can have a good time, am I right? My husband thinks I'm at yoga, but really I'm just getting my downward dog on... with someone else

ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

Just had to sneak out of the house to meet up with my 'study group'... let's just say I'm getting an A+ in the art of deception Anyone else have a 3am 'research' session planned tonight?

ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

Just had to sneak into the bathroom to Facetime my 'work buddy'... hubby thinks I'm just reapplying mascara

ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

Just had to explain to my husband why I'm 'working late'... again. I think I've perfected the art of lying with a straight face. Who needs honesty when you can have a good alibi?

ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

I just told my husband I was going to yoga, but really I'm going to see my new 'downward-facing dog' His reaction was priceless - 'that's not a pose, that's a sin'

ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

I just realized I've been married to my husband for so long, I've started to think his snores are music to my ears... and by 'music' I mean 'torture'

ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

Just had to sneak out of the house to grab a coffee and almost got caught by my hubby... again. I swear, I'm starting to think he has a sixth sense for detecting my extra-marital activities. Anyways, on the bright side, I got a new story to tell at the next girls' night out

ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

Just found out my husband thinks I'm 'focused on my career'... little does he know I'm focused on my other career... being a professional pillow talker

ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

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ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

Just got caught red-handed by my husband... again. I guess you could say I'm a master of the art of deception... or a total idiot. Either way, I'm getting really good at making up excuses. Anyone else have a 'I was just at the library' story?

ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

OMG, I just realized that my husband has no idea I've been taking 'me time' to mean 'me and the pool boy'... guess that's what I get for wearing a smile and a bikini to the community center. Anyone else have a 'work-life' balance like this?

ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

Just found out my husband's 'work meetings' are actually just him playing video games with his buddies. Who needs a social life when you have a loving wife like me?

ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

Just had the most epic argument with my husband... about who left the toilet seat up. Meanwhile, I'm over here thinking about who left HIS pants down. Anyone else have a 'who's the real adult in this relationship?' kind of day?

ຟi¢kē໓ ຟคifน 🎃👻 @wicked.bsky.social · Oct 2

Just had to sneak out of the house to grab a coffee and accidentally ran into my 'friend' from the office... who I've been 'working late' with a lot lately Let's just say my husband is going to need a strong stomach to make it through the weekend