Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 1d

I gotta be honest, there’s little I trust less than the applause of Venice and Cannes audiences. you don’t have to tell me how many minutes a film got when you’re pitching it to me, that’s worth less than nothing.

2

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 3d

when my phone autocorrects ‘apple’ to ‘Apple’.

meme screenshot of the Breakfast Club showing the character Brian with text reading “you’re so conceited, Claire. You’re so conceited” but Claire has been scribbled out and replaced with ‘Steve’

2

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 4d

I keep getting my eczema steroid cream in my eyes coz I have dryness around them and contrary to what you might assume, it’s not giving me jacked eyeballs.

2

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 4d

hairdresser: do you like eating Asian food?

dude: aw I’m not much of an Asian food eater to be honest

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 4d

god save me from this guy next to me at the hairdresser who calls women “females” and says it’s harder for men to find love because fEmALeS are materialistic and don’t know how to handle peace when they find it because of the chaos in their past.

1 1

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 4d

Update: she got fit during COVID. worth it!

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 4d

me, waiting for my turn at the hairdresser:

woman getting her hair done next to me: …in a weird way, COVID was a good thing…

me: 👀

1

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 4d

I think women need to get better at recognising which anecdotes about their husbands, while very funny in-jokes within the confines of the marriage where you both know each other very well, trust each other and know the tone they used etc., make them seem psychotic when viewed in a public forum.

IG post from Kristen Bell showing Dax Shepard hugging a child with the caption ‘happy 12th wedding anniversary to the man who once said to me: “I would never kill you. A lot of men have killed their wives at a certain point. Even though I’m heavily incentivized to kill you, I never would.”’

3

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 5d

3

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 5d

something I think about a lot is David Arquette in Muppets From Space teasing the rats for not having opposable thumbs. I also like to lord my opposable thumbs over animals.

3

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 7d

because I stand with him. #istandwithbarnowl

Screenshot of Amazon listing for Folkmanis Barn Owl finger puppet with disclaimer text reading “does not stand alone”

3

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 7d

funny story, this morning I was talking to a friendleague and mentioned I was interested in an exercise trampoline and she was like “every time I get on a trampoline now I’m like ‘oh god my pelvic floor!’”

is this the craziest instance of ‘my phone listens to my conversations’ ever or…?

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 7d

hey Amazon….what?

screenshot of Amazon showing suggestion to buy an exercise trampoline and a packet of toilet paper together.

1

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 8d

the most addictive substance known to man is someone sliding into your DMs like “I don’t want to start shit with your friends on main, but their comments are insane and you are on the objectively correct side of this issue.”

1

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 11d

what’s great about Is It Cake on Netflix is whenever I’m reminded of its existence I think “man I miss Nailed It”.

3

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 12d

me:

husband: *to the tune of Pretty Women from Sweeney Todd* Little Britain 🎶

1

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 12d

me, alone in the house: up yours, woke moralists! we’ll see who cancels who!!

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 13d

about to have a full meltdown coz Typo appears to have stopped making the weekly planner I’ve been buying annually for the last seven years. did they even think about the autistics?!

2

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 13d

Oof

1

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 13d

PSA: don’t make online purchases using AppleID. it will send the embarrassing name you saved your own number under (as a joke!) to internet personalities you have parasocial friendcrushes on.

1 8

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 13d

my LinkedIn connection request page is just a graveyard of dudes who have zero self-awareness of how unpleasant they were to work with.

2

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 16d

remember EC? this is him now. feel old yet??

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 16d

psychologist: golf club cover Bert isn’t real, he can’t hurt you

golf club cover Bert:

1

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 16d

someone just thanked me for letting them past and I went to say “no worries” and “all good” at the same time and it just came out as “no good!”

2

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 17d

tfw I decide to get two different caffeinated beverages with breakfast, to hell with the gastrointestinal consequences.

1