The Unger Review
@ungerreview.bsky.social
Satire by Andrew Unger.
Home of The Daily Bonnet.
ungerreview.com
Home of The Daily Bonnet.
ungerreview.com
Mennonite Man “Crosses the Floor” to Join the Lutherans www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-ma...
Mennonite Man “Crosses the Floor” to Join the Lutherans
OTTAWA, ON Although it’s controversial in some circles, it’s been part of the Anabaptist system, and the Protestant system more generally, for centuries – crossing the floor. Whenever a church member...
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November 7, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Mennonite Man “Crosses the Floor” to Join the Lutherans www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-ma...
Mennonite Teens Keep Yelling “606” in Sunday School www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-te...
Mennonite Teens Keep Yelling “606” in Sunday School
WATERLOO, ON It’s perhaps thr most annoying trend to hit Sunday school this year, as Mennonite middle schoolers keep yelling “SIX-oh-six” at every opportunity. “There I am trying to tell them about th...
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November 6, 2025 at 2:44 AM
Mennonite Teens Keep Yelling “606” in Sunday School www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-te...
White House Reassures Mennonites New Ballroom Won’t Be Used for Dancing www.ungerreview.com/white-house-...
White House Reassures Mennonites New Ballroom Won't Be Used for Dancing
WASHINGTON, DC Desperate the quell a rising tide of angry Mennonite voters, the White House clarified this afternoon that the new ballroom would not be used for dancing. “Only faspas and quilt auction...
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November 4, 2025 at 1:13 AM
White House Reassures Mennonites New Ballroom Won’t Be Used for Dancing www.ungerreview.com/white-house-...
Lodged Perogy Costs Blue Jays World Series www.ungerreview.com/lodged-perog...
Lodged Perogy Costs Blue Jays World Series
TORONTO, ON The L.A. Dodgers are thanking a Mennonite baseball fan this week for dropping his delicious cottage cheese perogy into the outfield, which cost the Toronto Blue Jays a potential series-win...
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November 2, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Lodged Perogy Costs Blue Jays World Series www.ungerreview.com/lodged-perog...
Mennonites Refuse to Watch ‘Worldly Series’ www.ungerreview.com/mennonites-r...
Mennonites Refuse to Watch 'Worldly Series'
ST. JACOBS, ON Thousands of Mennonites in southern Ontario have refused to join in on the festivities this evening after local pastors preached vehemently against the ‘Worldly Series’s this past Sunda...
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November 2, 2025 at 2:19 AM
Mennonites Refuse to Watch ‘Worldly Series’ www.ungerreview.com/mennonites-r...
Man Who Can’t Name a Single Player Really Rooting for the Blue Jays Tonight www.ungerreview.com/man-who-cant...
Man Who Can’t Name a Single Player Really Rooting for the Blue Jays Tonight
TORONTO, ON Area man Larry Enns, 51, normally swears off sports completely, but for some reason is really into the Blue Jays this evening. “I’ll be on the edge of my seat,” said Enns. “Rance [...]
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October 31, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Man Who Can’t Name a Single Player Really Rooting for the Blue Jays Tonight www.ungerreview.com/man-who-cant...
Danielle Smith Adds Canadian Constitution to Alberta’s Banned Books List www.ungerreview.com/danielle-smi...
Danielle Smith Adds Canadian Constitution to Alberta’s Banned Books List
EDMONTON, AB Alberta Premier Danielle Smith held a massive bonfire outside the provincial legislative building this week to destroy any remaining copies of the Constitution of Canada. “Had my goons fi...
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October 29, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Danielle Smith Adds Canadian Constitution to Alberta’s Banned Books List www.ungerreview.com/danielle-smi...
In Honour of Blue Jays, Mennonite Pastor to Preach Epic 18-Inning Sermon this Sunday www.ungerreview.com/in-honour-of...
In Honour of Blue Jays, Mennonite Pastor to Preach Epic 18-Inning Sermon this Sunday
LEAMINGTON, ON Pastor Dave of South Leamington Mennonite Church is gearing up for his longest sermon yet this upcoming Sunday. “You can’t say I didn’t warn you,” said Pastor Dave, “but those Blue Jays...
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October 29, 2025 at 1:37 AM
In Honour of Blue Jays, Mennonite Pastor to Preach Epic 18-Inning Sermon this Sunday www.ungerreview.com/in-honour-of...
Abbotsford Woman Blamed for All This Rain in Winnipeg www.ungerreview.com/abbotsford-w...
Abbotsford Woman Blamed for All This Rain in Winnipeg
ABBOTSFORD, BC Abbotsford woman Stephanie Friesen has come under a hailstorm of controversy this week after apparently bringing the west coast’s rainy weather with her to Winnipeg. “I haven’t used an ...
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October 28, 2025 at 12:16 AM
Abbotsford Woman Blamed for All This Rain in Winnipeg www.ungerreview.com/abbotsford-w...
Ford Demands Blue Jays Throw World Series in Effort to Repair Canada-US Relations www.ungerreview.com/blue-jays-to...
Ford Demands Blue Jays Throw World Series in Effort to Repair Canada-US Relations
TORONTO, ON After an apparent gaff in running an ad that accurately represented Ronald Reagan’s views on tariffs, Ontario Premier Doug Ford is now asking the Blue Jays to “let them have this one,” in ...
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October 25, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Ford Demands Blue Jays Throw World Series in Effort to Repair Canada-US Relations www.ungerreview.com/blue-jays-to...
Approaching Cop Car Turns Out to Be Just a Guy with a Ski Rack www.ungerreview.com/approaching-...
Approaching Cop Car Turns Out to Be Just a Guy with a Ski Rack
AIRDRIE, AB Area man Jeremy Goerzen, 41, slowed way down on Highway 2 near Balzac this week as he saw what he believed was a cop approaching in the distance. “Oh, jeez, better ease off [...]
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October 24, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Approaching Cop Car Turns Out to Be Just a Guy with a Ski Rack www.ungerreview.com/approaching-...
Thieves Steal ‘Mennonite Crown Jewels’ in Brazen Daytime Heist www.ungerreview.com/thieves-stea...
Thieves Steal ‘Mennonite Crown Jewels’ in Brazen Daytime Heist
WINKLER, MB Winkler, Manitoba, often called the Paris of the Pembina Valley, was the victim of a brazen daytime heist this week after balaclava-donning thieves on dirt bikes took off with Mrs. Reime...
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October 22, 2025 at 4:17 AM
Thieves Steal ‘Mennonite Crown Jewels’ in Brazen Daytime Heist www.ungerreview.com/thieves-stea...
Andrew Unger Sues Time Magazine for Extremely Unflattering Cover Photo www.ungerreview.com/andrew-unger...
Andrew Unger Sues Time Magazine for Extremely Unflattering Cover Photo
NEW YORK, NY Calling it the “worst photo of all time,” Mennonite satirist Andrew Unger is now suing Time Magazine for the weird low angle shot they used on a recent cover. “I don’t mind [...]
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October 17, 2025 at 10:56 PM
Andrew Unger Sues Time Magazine for Extremely Unflattering Cover Photo www.ungerreview.com/andrew-unger...
Mennonite Man Mistakes Huge Miriam Toews Crowd for Billy Graham Crusade www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-ma...
Mennonite Man Mistakes Huge Miriam Toews Crowd for Billy Graham Crusade
WINNIPEG, MB Mr. David Kehler of Kleefeld was in the big city on a Costco run this afternoon when he stumbled upon a massive crowd that had gathered at Grant Park Mall. “Look at all [...]
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October 16, 2025 at 11:19 PM
Mennonite Man Mistakes Huge Miriam Toews Crowd for Billy Graham Crusade www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-ma...
Olga reacts to the top 5 Mennonite baby names for girls.
October 16, 2025 at 3:42 AM
Olga reacts to the top 5 Mennonite baby names for girls.
Mennonite Woman Needs Weekend to Recover from Weekend www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-wo...
Mennonite Woman Needs Weekend to Recover from Weekend
WINKLER, MB Area mom Brittany Klippenstein was so exhausted from her Thanksgiving weekend that she now requires a weekend to recover from the weekend. “Thanks goodness we’ve got another weekend coming...
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October 16, 2025 at 1:30 AM
Mennonite Woman Needs Weekend to Recover from Weekend www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-wo...
Katy Perry Attempts to Make Out with the Wrong Prime Minister www.ungerreview.com/katy-perry-a...
Katy Perry Attempts to Make Out with the Wrong Prime Minister
OTTAWA, ON Pop superstar Katy Perry was spotted in what looked like some level of embrace with another former Canadian Prime Minister this week. “I don’t know what came over me,” said Perry. “I guess ...
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October 14, 2025 at 12:07 AM
Katy Perry Attempts to Make Out with the Wrong Prime Minister www.ungerreview.com/katy-perry-a...
Mennonite Grandma Can Finally Sleep Tonight Because She Didn’t Run Out of Food at the Gathering www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-gr...
Mennonite Grandma Can Finally Sleep Tonight Because She Didn't Run Out of Food at the Gathering
WINKLER, MB Mrs. Pankratz can count on a good solid six hours of sleep tonight after the family gathering that she’d been worrying about for months came and went without a single person starving to [....
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October 13, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Mennonite Grandma Can Finally Sleep Tonight Because She Didn’t Run Out of Food at the Gathering www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-gr...
Silly Americans Don’t Even Realize it’s Thanksgiving www.ungerreview.com/silly-americ...
Silly Americans Don’t Even Realize it’s Thanksgiving
GOSHEN, IN In a shocking turn of events, more than 300 Americans went completely without Thanksgiving dinner this weekend. “There wasn’t even any pumpkin pie,” said Mrs. Eby of Kitchener, Ontario, who...
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October 13, 2025 at 1:18 AM
Silly Americans Don’t Even Realize it’s Thanksgiving www.ungerreview.com/silly-americ...
