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tilskatoff.bsky.social
Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️
@tilskatoff.bsky.social
Head of a neurodivergent household. Ex-archaeologist. Now and again I paint things. Most of all, it's just nice to be nice.
Our snoozing cat is currently the physical embodiment of how I feel about Monday's impending doom.
December 7, 2025 at 2:08 PM
Feel like I need a mental health break from 2025 and pop back to my favourite Christmas of 1984.

Even just a few hours playing with my 'Loving You' Barbie and Dad figuring out how to set up the ZX Spectrum so my brother and I could relentlessly play 'Horace Goes Skiing'. *Big sigh*
December 6, 2025 at 1:28 PM
December 5, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Looks like the end of days...or the rapture...or something happening over my town right now. Whichever event involves the appearance of a heavenly, cloud anus.
December 3, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Overheard a Year 7 in the corridor boasting to his mate that when the teacher said "Good morning" to him, he 'hilariously' responded with "BAD morning".

I instantly thought "Ha! It's mini Paul Darrow!" but unless you listen to @wheezingpod.bsky.social this will mean absolutely nothing to you.
December 2, 2025 at 12:07 PM
The expression of every future domestic robot when it's been ordered for the umpteenth time to wank off the husband whilst his wife pops to Sainsbury's.
December 1, 2025 at 11:00 AM
I keep hearing a George Michael song+I sing along to it happily but have never known which song it is.

Apparently, it's 'Father Figure'. Reason I didn't know this is because I've been singing "I will be your bottom feeder" and never even questioned it.
November 30, 2025 at 12:33 PM
I need to put mascara on to go out but I keep crying at videos of military horses knowing to be gentle with disabled people and people with special needs.

No, *you're* stressed and hormonal.
November 29, 2025 at 7:41 PM
This year, we have retired our old and tattered Christmas tree and invested in a posh new one.

It comes with silky gloves to put it up with and I don't think I've ever felt so fancy.
November 29, 2025 at 1:20 PM
With 'Stranger Things' being everywhere right now, it reminded me that 3yrs ago, my then 11yo son got mobbed by a group of teenage girls who genuinely thought he was the actor who played Will Byers.

Felt like it was a bit of a kick in the teeth for my amateur mum hairdressing skills.
November 29, 2025 at 12:26 PM
🎵 We're having a.......

..... we're having a ball 🎵
November 24, 2025 at 2:37 PM
Lovely that Judy Finnegan could make it.
November 23, 2025 at 12:03 PM
Nothing more Christmassy than opening your presents around the creepy old lady in 'The Others'.
November 22, 2025 at 2:29 PM
As a VERY last resort, I used our school software's AI help today

Not only does it respond like a heavily abused Dobby from Harry Potter but when it finally tried to do what I asked, it just made shit up.

Told me the only member of Latin Club was a student suspiciously called 'Marcus Aurelius'.
November 18, 2025 at 4:29 PM
A while ago, I saw a post asking for songs that people automatically mash together without thinking.

At the time, I knew there was one I always did but couldn't remember what it was. Just remembered....
November 15, 2025 at 12:36 PM
Counterpoint: 11 things we women couldn't give less of a shit about.
November 12, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Misread this headline for a second and nearly cracked open my stand-by bottle of champagne.

Well played, substack thingy. You got me.
November 12, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Every time I've passed a colleague in the corridor today, I feel like I've waved at them like Mr Tumble whilst saying "Hiiiyaaa" in a manner that reminds me far too much of the "Bye bye, Driver" meme lady.

Not the best combination.
a man in a clown costume says hello monkey on a yellow background
Alt: Mr Tumble doing his classic sign for "Hello".
media.tenor.com
November 12, 2025 at 12:52 PM
Researching my family tree, I've stumbled upon so many sad stories. But, of all the heartbreaking things I've discovered, this small letter touched me the most and always sticks in my head. My 2xGt Grandma, desperate to know about her son, Harry and hanging hopes on rumours.
November 9, 2025 at 10:51 AM
Reposted by Tilskatoff 🇺🇦🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️
Guy Fawkes' signature before & after watching the final episode of Celebrity Traitors.

#celebritytraitors #thetraitors #traitors
November 6, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Still reeling from colleague saying "I'm not usually racist, but...." before saying how she'd hardly seen any white faces in town at the w/end+that they were all immigrants.

Told her with a smile that I don't see a prob with that+I'd rather have a million immigrants rather than one single racist
November 3, 2025 at 11:12 AM
Just saw a sweet idea - a special paper to stick on windows, let your kids draw on it and it imprints the drawings as white on the glass.

Then, I remembered I have teenage boys so it would just be a festive panorama of cock and balls.
November 2, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Given the cough I'm still battling with and the fact my pelvic floor is not what it once was, my Halloween costume this year is going to be Anne Sellors in Threads.
a woman is covering her mouth with her hand in a close up .
ALT: a woman is covering her mouth with her hand in a close up .
media.tenor.com
October 31, 2025 at 2:14 PM
I've just ordered something from 'Must Have Ideas' called 'Nanna's Secret'.

99% sure it's a product to combat limescale and not Nicky Campbell turning up on my doorstep to tell me about a relative I had no idea about.
October 29, 2025 at 4:33 PM
Big 'Dictionary Corner' vibes from Putin here.

Looks like he's just explained to Dave from Runcorn that he could have had an 8 if he'd spotted "Ubiquity", and is seconds from launching into a cheeky poem about the dangers of high-rise windows to take us into the next commercial break.
October 26, 2025 at 11:57 AM