The Shovel
@theshovel.bsky.social
News you can believe in.
Read more at theshovel.com.au
Read more at theshovel.com.au
US President Trump has used a traditional Thanksgiving White House event to pardon Türkiye, as well as a range of other totalitarian states, in a light-hearted ceremony at the White House today.
Full details: theshovel.com.au/2025/11/28/t...
Full details: theshovel.com.au/2025/11/28/t...
November 28, 2025 at 2:35 AM
US President Trump has used a traditional Thanksgiving White House event to pardon Türkiye, as well as a range of other totalitarian states, in a light-hearted ceremony at the White House today.
Full details: theshovel.com.au/2025/11/28/t...
Full details: theshovel.com.au/2025/11/28/t...
"We are in danger of being swamped by Black Friday sales"
Pauline Hanson Condemns Use of Term ‘Black Friday’, Saying ‘All Fridays Matter’ — The Shovel
"We're in danger of being swamped by Black Friday sales"
theshovel.com.au
November 27, 2025 at 10:40 PM
"We are in danger of being swamped by Black Friday sales"
It’s that time of the year again when Australian companies celebrate the fact that it’s almost the Friday after a pilgrim thanksgiving holiday in America by providing discounts to unrelated goods
Well fuck that
We’re raising our prices by 10% and donating the difference (+ an extra 15%) to charity
Well fuck that
We’re raising our prices by 10% and donating the difference (+ an extra 15%) to charity
Fuck Black Friday — The Shovel
We're raising our prices by 10%
theshovel.com.au
November 27, 2025 at 5:45 AM
It’s that time of the year again when Australian companies celebrate the fact that it’s almost the Friday after a pilgrim thanksgiving holiday in America by providing discounts to unrelated goods
Well fuck that
We’re raising our prices by 10% and donating the difference (+ an extra 15%) to charity
Well fuck that
We’re raising our prices by 10% and donating the difference (+ an extra 15%) to charity
Following the generous bribe Trump pardoned the bird, and also appointed it head of the Department of Agriculture, as well as the new US ambassador to Türkiye.
theshovel.com.au/2025/11/27/t...
theshovel.com.au/2025/11/27/t...
Thanksgiving Turkey Pardoned After Making $100 Mil Bribe to Donald Trump — The Shovel
As part of a timeless American tradition, a Thanksgiving turkey has received a pardon from the US President this week, following an unrelated $100 million bribe it made to one of Trump’s businesses. I...
theshovel.com.au
November 27, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Following the generous bribe Trump pardoned the bird, and also appointed it head of the Department of Agriculture, as well as the new US ambassador to Türkiye.
theshovel.com.au/2025/11/27/t...
theshovel.com.au/2025/11/27/t...
“We used to risk our lives firebombing tobacco shops. Now we get paid triple just to make a button that says ‘Radar’” said one former gang boss, now Head of Digital Transformation.
Crime Gangs Pivot From Importing Cigarettes to Designing BOM Websites: “It’s Crazy Money” — The Shovel
“We used to risk our lives firebombing smoke shops. Now we get paid triple what we used to to make a button that says ‘Radar’"
theshovel.com.au
November 26, 2025 at 9:29 PM
“We used to risk our lives firebombing tobacco shops. Now we get paid triple just to make a button that says ‘Radar’” said one former gang boss, now Head of Digital Transformation.
Sussan Ley Says Hanson Has Finally Gone Too Far After One Nation Senator Wears Joy Division Burqa to Parliament
Sussan Ley Says Hanson Has Finally Gone Too Far After One Nation Senator Wears Joy Division Burqa to Parliament — The Shovel
Opposition Leader Pauline Hanson says Pauline Hanson has crossed a line by arriving in Parliament today wearing a burqa featuring a Joy Division "Unknown Pleasures" screen print.
theshovel.com.au
November 26, 2025 at 7:09 AM
Sussan Ley Says Hanson Has Finally Gone Too Far After One Nation Senator Wears Joy Division Burqa to Parliament
“There are many different units of measurement, but for some reason people seem to be fixated on Australian dollars"
BOM Says $96 Million Website Bill Actually Only $35 Million When Converted to Celsius — The Shovel
“There are many different units of measurement, but for some reason people seem to be fixated on Australian dollars"
theshovel.com.au
November 24, 2025 at 11:23 PM
“There are many different units of measurement, but for some reason people seem to be fixated on Australian dollars"
“Senate rules clearly forbid the use of theatrical devices and cheap stunts, and Senator Hanson’s entire career falls under that category"
Burqa Ejected From Senate for Bringing In Pauline Hanson — The Shovel
“Senate rules clearly forbid the use of theatrical devices and cheap stunts, and Senator Hanson’s entire career falls under that category"
theshovel.com.au
November 24, 2025 at 9:55 PM
“Senate rules clearly forbid the use of theatrical devices and cheap stunts, and Senator Hanson’s entire career falls under that category"
Bunnings has released a Bazball-inspired camp chair that conveniently folds when the slightest pressure is applied
Bunnings Releases ‘England Middle Order’ Camp Chairs: “They Collapse in Seconds” — The Shovel
Bunnings has released a Bazball-inspired camp chair that conveniently folds when the slightest pressure is applied.
theshovel.com.au
November 24, 2025 at 1:18 AM
Bunnings has released a Bazball-inspired camp chair that conveniently folds when the slightest pressure is applied
“Underquoting is an ancient art form that is passed down through generations. This is about protecting our cultural heritage"
Publishing Reserve Price Would Punish Dishonest Agents, Real Estate Institute Complains — The Shovel
“Underquoting is an ancient art form that is passed down through generations. This is about protecting our cultural heritage".
theshovel.com.au
November 20, 2025 at 9:45 PM
“Underquoting is an ancient art form that is passed down through generations. This is about protecting our cultural heritage"
This year's Shovel Annual has a touching eulogy to Peter Dutton's career, which died this year after a long battle with the electorate of Dickson.
To read the full eulogy (as well as 132 other pages of coverage) get a copy of the Annual here: theshovel.bigcartel.com/product/the-shovel-annual-2025
To read the full eulogy (as well as 132 other pages of coverage) get a copy of the Annual here: theshovel.bigcartel.com/product/the-shovel-annual-2025
November 20, 2025 at 6:31 AM
This year's Shovel Annual has a touching eulogy to Peter Dutton's career, which died this year after a long battle with the electorate of Dickson.
To read the full eulogy (as well as 132 other pages of coverage) get a copy of the Annual here: theshovel.bigcartel.com/product/the-shovel-annual-2025
To read the full eulogy (as well as 132 other pages of coverage) get a copy of the Annual here: theshovel.bigcartel.com/product/the-shovel-annual-2025
“What’s next? Banning kids from playing with lead-painted toys? Stopping them from drinking directly from the diesel tank on the family Hilux? It’s political correctness gone mad”
Matt Canavan Says Plan to Remove Asbestos-Contaminated Sand From Schools is Woke — The Shovel
"The next generation will grow up soft, weak and with fully functioning respiratory systems - none of which are values this country was built on”.
theshovel.com.au
November 18, 2025 at 9:33 PM
“What’s next? Banning kids from playing with lead-painted toys? Stopping them from drinking directly from the diesel tank on the family Hilux? It’s political correctness gone mad”
Sussan Ley said the new awareness campaign will highlight the often-overlooked upsides of climate change, under the tagline “Hotter, Drier, Better”
Liberals Launch New Campaign Promoting Benefits of Climate Change — The Shovel
Sussan Ley said the new awareness campaign will highlight the often-overlooked upsides of climate change, under the tagline “Hotter, Drier, Better”.
theshovel.com.au
November 17, 2025 at 9:57 PM
Sussan Ley said the new awareness campaign will highlight the often-overlooked upsides of climate change, under the tagline “Hotter, Drier, Better”
Metallica took to the stage before a roaring crowd organisers described as “just shy of the attendance you’d see at a typical inspection for a two-bedder in Marrickville”
Huge Crowd at Sydney Metallica Gig Almost As Big as Average Rental Inspection for Two Bedder — The Shovel
Organisers described the massive crowd as “just shy of the attendance you’d see at a typical two-bedder rental inspection in Marrickville”.
theshovel.com.au
November 16, 2025 at 7:13 AM
Metallica took to the stage before a roaring crowd organisers described as “just shy of the attendance you’d see at a typical inspection for a two-bedder in Marrickville”
Amyl & The Sniffers Should’ve Labelled Gig a Nazi Rally if They Wanted It To Go Ahead, Police Say
Amyl & The Sniffers Should’ve Labelled Gig a Nazi Rally if They Wanted It To Go Ahead, Police Say — The Shovel
Police say they were left with no choice but to shut it down after it became apparent the event was a legally ambiguous ‘music performance’ rather than the more protected category ‘full-blown extremis...
theshovel.com.au
November 15, 2025 at 3:29 AM
Amyl & The Sniffers Should’ve Labelled Gig a Nazi Rally if They Wanted It To Go Ahead, Police Say
Sussan Ley Says Party Is Totally Committed to Paris Framework for Achieving Net Zero, Except for the Bit About Achieving Net Zero
Sussan Ley Says Party Is Totally Committed to Paris Framework for Achieving Net Zero, Except for the Bit About Achieving Net Zero — The Shovel
“We will embrace the spirit of emissions reduction while avoiding the unnecessary burden of reducing emissions”.
theshovel.com.au
November 14, 2025 at 7:01 AM
Sussan Ley Says Party Is Totally Committed to Paris Framework for Achieving Net Zero, Except for the Bit About Achieving Net Zero
Trump Asks Staff for List of Potential Countries To Bomb To Distract From Epstein Emails
Trump Asks Staff for List of Potential Countries To Bomb To Distract From Epstein Emails — The Shovel
President Donald Trump has immediately initiated standard distraction protocols, after new emails were released tying him to Jeffry Epstein.
theshovel.com.au
November 12, 2025 at 11:19 PM
Trump Asks Staff for List of Potential Countries To Bomb To Distract From Epstein Emails
Our Donald Trump Christmas card is back!
This is a tremendous Christmas card. Very beautiful.
Many, many people are saying it. We're getting a lot of good reports about it.
Get one here: theshovel.bigcartel.com/product/trump-card
This is a tremendous Christmas card. Very beautiful.
Many, many people are saying it. We're getting a lot of good reports about it.
Get one here: theshovel.bigcartel.com/product/trump-card
November 12, 2025 at 6:56 AM
Our Donald Trump Christmas card is back!
This is a tremendous Christmas card. Very beautiful.
Many, many people are saying it. We're getting a lot of good reports about it.
Get one here: theshovel.bigcartel.com/product/trump-card
This is a tremendous Christmas card. Very beautiful.
Many, many people are saying it. We're getting a lot of good reports about it.
Get one here: theshovel.bigcartel.com/product/trump-card
“People have told us they want consistency in umpiring, stable rules, and less Americanisation. So naturally, we’ve introduced a round where your team’s full forward might be dressed as a rabbit singing Ariana Grande”
AFL Introduces New ‘Masked Singer Round’ — The Shovel
“People have told us they want consistency in umpiring, stable rules, and less Americanisation. So naturally, we’ve introduced a round where a centre half forward might be dressed as Ariana Grande,” h...
theshovel.com.au
November 11, 2025 at 3:43 AM
“People have told us they want consistency in umpiring, stable rules, and less Americanisation. So naturally, we’ve introduced a round where your team’s full forward might be dressed as a rabbit singing Ariana Grande”
"One of the principles that I’ve always adhered to is, if something’s working, it’s time to change it”.
Wildcard Round Result of Listening to Fans Who Want Less Gimmicks and Rule Changes, AFL Says — The Shovel
"One of the principles I’ve always adhered to is, if something’s working, it’s time to change it”
theshovel.com.au
November 10, 2025 at 10:39 PM
"One of the principles that I’ve always adhered to is, if something’s working, it’s time to change it”.
New product just dropped ...
Sussan Ley Approved Iron-On T-Shirt Transfer
Sussan Ley has strong opinions about what constitutes an appropriate t-shirt. Avoid being hassled from the Opposition Leader with this pre-approved...
theshovel.bigcartel.com
November 10, 2025 at 1:30 AM
New product just dropped ...
A group of men gathered outside of the NSW Parliament in Sydney yesterday to call for the inclusion of erectile dysfunction medication on the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme.
Neo Nazis Rally Outside NSW Parliament Demanding Affordable Erectile Dysfunction Treatment — The Shovel
“It’s time to rise up!” one man shouted over a megaphone before adding, “But it’s very, very difficult, given the price of prescriptions these days!”
theshovel.com.au
November 9, 2025 at 11:16 PM
A group of men gathered outside of the NSW Parliament in Sydney yesterday to call for the inclusion of erectile dysfunction medication on the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme.
“It’s all I really want, I'm begging you, please accept this deal. Just laugh at my jokes and say in public that I’m a really cool guy and I won’t ask for a cent, I promise".
theshovel.com.au/2025/11/09/e...
theshovel.com.au/2025/11/09/e...
Elon Musk Willing To Forgo $1 Trillion Pay Deal if Shareholders Tell Him They Think He Is Cool — The Shovel
CEO Elon Musk has told Tesla shareholders that they can either sign off on a $1 trillion pay packet or agree to say in public that he is a funny, cool guy.
theshovel.com.au
November 9, 2025 at 9:17 PM
“It’s all I really want, I'm begging you, please accept this deal. Just laugh at my jokes and say in public that I’m a really cool guy and I won’t ask for a cent, I promise".
theshovel.com.au/2025/11/09/e...
theshovel.com.au/2025/11/09/e...
“What we need is a sensible, modern approach to energy policy and hunting whales and killing them for their oil is exactly that"
Nationals To Resurrect Australian Whaling Industry As Part Of Exciting New Energy Policy — The Shovel
“What we need is a sensible, modern approach to energy policy and hunting whales and killing them for their oil is exactly that"
theshovel.com.au
November 5, 2025 at 10:05 PM
“What we need is a sensible, modern approach to energy policy and hunting whales and killing them for their oil is exactly that"
“I want forty op-eds belittling Mamdani on my desk by 5pm!”
News Corp Calls for “All-Hands-on-Deck” After Young Muslim Man Elected New York Mayor — The Shovel
“I want forty op-eds belittling Mamdani on my desk by 5pm!"
theshovel.com.au
November 5, 2025 at 6:54 AM
“I want forty op-eds belittling Mamdani on my desk by 5pm!”