Missy Baker
@themissybaker.bsky.social
I write a new joke every day.
Them: What’s up?
Me: *heart pounding outside my chest with anxiety* Nothing, just chillin’
Me: *heart pounding outside my chest with anxiety* Nothing, just chillin’
November 25, 2025 at 6:18 AM
Them: What’s up?
Me: *heart pounding outside my chest with anxiety* Nothing, just chillin’
Me: *heart pounding outside my chest with anxiety* Nothing, just chillin’
Thanksgiving’s the worst holiday, because it’s the only one where you eat the mascot. Christmas would lose a lot of the magic if Santa’s leg was served on a platter with gravy.
November 24, 2025 at 9:12 AM
Thanksgiving’s the worst holiday, because it’s the only one where you eat the mascot. Christmas would lose a lot of the magic if Santa’s leg was served on a platter with gravy.
Night owls don’t get the credit they deserve. Without them, early risers would have no one to feel superior to
November 23, 2025 at 8:45 AM
Night owls don’t get the credit they deserve. Without them, early risers would have no one to feel superior to
The older I get, the more “Christmas is coming” sounds like a threat.
November 22, 2025 at 10:17 AM
The older I get, the more “Christmas is coming” sounds like a threat.
Thunderstorms are one of those things that’s normal in most places, but almost nonexistent in LA. Like running into someone who can move their forehead
November 21, 2025 at 12:17 PM
Thunderstorms are one of those things that’s normal in most places, but almost nonexistent in LA. Like running into someone who can move their forehead
He’s not Frankenstein’s monster, he’s mine!
a close up of a person with long hair and a scary face
ALT: a close up of a person with long hair and a scary face
media.tenor.com
November 20, 2025 at 8:34 AM
He’s not Frankenstein’s monster, he’s mine!
If you told me that someday I’d be attracted to a pale, tall monster made entirely of sewn-together rotting corpses, I would’ve been like, yeah, that checks out.
November 20, 2025 at 8:33 AM
If you told me that someday I’d be attracted to a pale, tall monster made entirely of sewn-together rotting corpses, I would’ve been like, yeah, that checks out.
He’s not Frankenstein’s monster, he’s mine!
a close up of a person with long hair and a scary face
ALT: a close up of a person with long hair and a scary face
media.tenor.com
November 20, 2025 at 8:30 AM
He’s not Frankenstein’s monster, he’s mine!
Anyone got a flux capacitor I can borrow?
a group of people sitting in a car with the words roads where we 're going we don 't need roads below them
ALT: a group of people sitting in a car with the words roads where we 're going we don 't need roads below them
media.tenor.com
November 19, 2025 at 6:34 AM
Anyone got a flux capacitor I can borrow?
“Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.” In the 80s, it was inspirational. Now it’s a just a warning about our failing infrastructure.
November 19, 2025 at 6:06 AM
“Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.” In the 80s, it was inspirational. Now it’s a just a warning about our failing infrastructure.
I refuse to get glasses because frankly, I’ve seen enough.
November 18, 2025 at 1:19 PM
I refuse to get glasses because frankly, I’ve seen enough.
I say I wanna spend eternity with Frankenstein’s monster, but deep down I know I’d eventually wake up one Christmas morning and be like, “Oh great, another leaf, just what I wanted,” while secretly dying inside.
November 17, 2025 at 7:54 AM
I say I wanna spend eternity with Frankenstein’s monster, but deep down I know I’d eventually wake up one Christmas morning and be like, “Oh great, another leaf, just what I wanted,” while secretly dying inside.
I thought he was my rock, turns out he just had the IQ of one.
November 16, 2025 at 7:48 AM
I thought he was my rock, turns out he just had the IQ of one.
Eyes on the road! ☔️
November 15, 2025 at 7:46 AM
Eyes on the road! ☔️
Driving in this LA rain is crazy! I almost ran off the road 3 times looking at dogs in raincoats.
November 15, 2025 at 7:40 AM
Driving in this LA rain is crazy! I almost ran off the road 3 times looking at dogs in raincoats.
If my emails got leaked I’d be so embarrassed. What if everyone finds out Old Navy misses me?
November 14, 2025 at 7:55 AM
If my emails got leaked I’d be so embarrassed. What if everyone finds out Old Navy misses me?
How’d you guess?
a little girl with a lot of makeup on her face .
ALT: a little girl with a lot of makeup on her face .
media.tenor.com
November 14, 2025 at 7:55 AM
How’d you guess?
“This is a witch hunt and a hoax!”
- Me opening my credit card bill and seeing all the purchases I definitely made.
- Me opening my credit card bill and seeing all the purchases I definitely made.
November 13, 2025 at 9:28 AM
“This is a witch hunt and a hoax!”
- Me opening my credit card bill and seeing all the purchases I definitely made.
- Me opening my credit card bill and seeing all the purchases I definitely made.
If air can fry food, you can do anything.
November 12, 2025 at 11:05 AM
If air can fry food, you can do anything.
I can’t wait for Thanksgiving. I’m picking a fight with my family now.
November 11, 2025 at 8:26 AM
I can’t wait for Thanksgiving. I’m picking a fight with my family now.
Interviewer: Why do you want to work here?
Me: Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of ruining the workplace.
Me: Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of ruining the workplace.
November 10, 2025 at 6:48 AM
Interviewer: Why do you want to work here?
Me: Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of ruining the workplace.
Me: Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of ruining the workplace.
Funny how people prepare for the zombie apocalypse like they still wouldn't have to go into work the next day.
November 9, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Funny how people prepare for the zombie apocalypse like they still wouldn't have to go into work the next day.
Just finished watching Frankenstein and the scariest part was seeing the monster and immediately thinking “I can fix him.”
November 9, 2025 at 8:35 AM
Just finished watching Frankenstein and the scariest part was seeing the monster and immediately thinking “I can fix him.”
Walking my dog and someone yelled out “Hey mama!” I was like wow, ok. Turned around and bro was talking to his actual mom.
November 8, 2025 at 8:27 AM
Walking my dog and someone yelled out “Hey mama!” I was like wow, ok. Turned around and bro was talking to his actual mom.