'Went to see the comedy. There was a female comedienne on, she kept talking about periods so we heckled her and she definitely didn't have a comeback, so I'm definitely funnier. Then we got thrown out for laughing... at a comedy show! You can't even laugh at jokes anymore. This country!'

'Went to see the comedy. There was a female comedienne on, she kept talking about periods so we heckled her and she definitely didn't have a comeback, so I'm definitely funnier. Then we got thrown out for laughing... at a comedy show! You can't even laugh at jokes anymore. This country!'

*to the tune of Goldfinger"

BEIGE BANQUET, NA NAAAAA NAAAHHH

lovely stuff!

This reply is AI

You heard about Ian Watkins?

H from Steps is gonna be livid if Paddington taps him on the shoulder right now.

Won't somebody PLEASE think of the famous dead murdered paedophile.

Vibes.

You heard about Ian Watkins?

I'm at university studying A1 French in France of all places. We just had a test after 3 weeks to see what we've learned. I absolutely fucking sucked! Everyone else in the class has prior 2nd language experience, and while that's no excuse for me, I just struggled and felt really stupid. Agacé!!! 🇫🇷

Sorry, controversial given the love it's receiving but I LOATHE 'Teardrops' by Womack and Womack. It just feels like it goes on longer than it actually is and the fade out implies it never stops, which I find oddly unsettling #totp

Sorry, controversial given the love it's receiving but I LOATHE 'Teardrops' by Womack and Womack. It just feels like it goes on longer than it actually is and the fade out implies it never stops, which I find oddly unsettling #totp

The great combo of Phil Ellis and @annathommy.bsky.social have a new one called 'Early Worms' starting next week that'll be absolutely worth a punt 👍

I'm at university studying A1 French in France of all places. We just had a test after 3 weeks to see what we've learned. I absolutely fucking sucked! Everyone else in the class has prior 2nd language experience, and while that's no excuse for me, I just struggled and felt really stupid. Agacé!!! 🇫🇷

You know what we don't talk enough about?

Robert the amateur magician doing his 'escape act' on Sky Star Search (1990). One of my favourite segments of TV ever broadcast

Guest appearances by Keith Chegwin, Rustie Lee and Jim Bowen

All those dates and my old digs of Warrington still gets shafted. We got bombed by the IRA once. We used to be somebody!

Whenever I see a story about the 'A.I. actor' Tilly Norwood, for some reason I immediately think of that Day Today bit with the reanimated corpse that ends up dating a supermodel, because people treat it completely as normal even though it's fucking mad and we've let too many rich virgins run amok.

If you don't like pumpkin spice they literally throw you in jail these days.

It's just me, but seasonal people are fucking weird. Just eat tomatoes and have your funny flavoured coffee whenever you want.

They're going to use it anyway. Big 'You're not my real Dad' syndrome from people emboldened by the world leaders being absolute fucking maniacs.

CUNT. Call it a cunt. Not enough people just call things a proper fucking cunt anymore.