Whiskey Jesus
@spacewizard.bsky.social
Wizard and amateur surgeon. @boozewizard on dead bird site
Supervillains don't blow up dams anymore. I miss that.
October 20, 2025 at 4:29 PM
Supervillains don't blow up dams anymore. I miss that.
I have so much to do today, but the cat in my lap says otherwise.
October 10, 2025 at 6:32 PM
I have so much to do today, but the cat in my lap says otherwise.
Let's hold hands and dive into a wood chipper.
September 27, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Let's hold hands and dive into a wood chipper.
I do okay on the dating apps because in all of my pics I'm fishless with a shirt.
September 24, 2025 at 3:52 AM
I do okay on the dating apps because in all of my pics I'm fishless with a shirt.
The Wi-Fi from my bathtub is terrible.
September 21, 2025 at 9:56 PM
The Wi-Fi from my bathtub is terrible.
Yeah, that one bottle of water should make up for past 30 years of poor hydration. Hell, it was cold, I'm probably covered for the next few years too.
September 16, 2025 at 3:14 AM
Yeah, that one bottle of water should make up for past 30 years of poor hydration. Hell, it was cold, I'm probably covered for the next few years too.
You never have to club a guy in the head to steal his uniform to sneak into an event anymore. I miss that.
September 13, 2025 at 6:19 PM
You never have to club a guy in the head to steal his uniform to sneak into an event anymore. I miss that.
I went to work again, like some kind of idiot clown.
September 9, 2025 at 2:19 PM
I went to work again, like some kind of idiot clown.
The only difference in going to bed and taking a nap is whether or not I'm wearing a shirt.
September 3, 2025 at 7:55 PM
The only difference in going to bed and taking a nap is whether or not I'm wearing a shirt.
Nobody falls into an open vat of chemicals anymore. I blame OSHA for the lack of new super heroes.
July 29, 2025 at 11:52 PM
Nobody falls into an open vat of chemicals anymore. I blame OSHA for the lack of new super heroes.
We've been voting with our dollars, but maybe we try our fists?
July 28, 2025 at 12:20 AM
We've been voting with our dollars, but maybe we try our fists?
I just found out that my cat can in fact fight his way out of a paper bag, but it takes him an embarrassingly long time.
July 26, 2025 at 3:49 AM
I just found out that my cat can in fact fight his way out of a paper bag, but it takes him an embarrassingly long time.
With my head in the oven, "Hmm, it's a very dry heat."
July 26, 2025 at 2:02 AM
With my head in the oven, "Hmm, it's a very dry heat."
I know nothing about sports, but after ironically watching some baseball, I've leaned a fact. The players all have stupid beards.
July 20, 2025 at 4:57 AM
I know nothing about sports, but after ironically watching some baseball, I've leaned a fact. The players all have stupid beards.
I'm going to sit in a cool bath like it's a child's wading pool, and get drunk in it like it's a child's wading pool.
July 13, 2025 at 11:27 PM
I'm going to sit in a cool bath like it's a child's wading pool, and get drunk in it like it's a child's wading pool.
Your "farm to table" bullshit is far less sustainable than my floor-to-mouth lifestyle.
July 6, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Your "farm to table" bullshit is far less sustainable than my floor-to-mouth lifestyle.
My "Ask me about my Witness Protection Relocation status" shirt might be counterproductive.
June 27, 2025 at 3:40 AM
My "Ask me about my Witness Protection Relocation status" shirt might be counterproductive.
Does this bus go to Funkytown?
June 24, 2025 at 6:34 PM
Does this bus go to Funkytown?
Selling your body is stupid, find someone to rent it.
June 23, 2025 at 12:32 AM
Selling your body is stupid, find someone to rent it.
Oh no, this doesn't help my situation at all. That creepy old woman gave me directions to a ghast station.
June 22, 2025 at 3:27 PM
Oh no, this doesn't help my situation at all. That creepy old woman gave me directions to a ghast station.
"Death to America" is valid political discourse.
June 13, 2025 at 2:40 AM
"Death to America" is valid political discourse.
We don't need vaccines. We need good viruses, with guns.
June 9, 2025 at 8:46 PM
We don't need vaccines. We need good viruses, with guns.
Going to the dentist is weird. You have to pay a guy to rip a bone out of your skull.
June 4, 2025 at 9:27 PM
Going to the dentist is weird. You have to pay a guy to rip a bone out of your skull.
A red mushroom embiggens the smallest Mario.
June 3, 2025 at 3:34 PM
A red mushroom embiggens the smallest Mario.
When newspapers go away completely, how will we prove the date in photographs?
May 30, 2025 at 7:18 PM
When newspapers go away completely, how will we prove the date in photographs?