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smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · 9h

My father was a chemistry teacher for 30 years. They kept paying him the whole time, so… Of course, after that he started making meth.

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smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · 10h

Maybe it was carrying drugs.

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smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · 6d

Is this the first MLB playoff series in history featuring two star players with nicknames that are based on the size of their asses?

smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · 21d

When did being an NFL ref become a Mr. Universe competition?

smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · 23d

If Emile Zola knew when he wrote “J’accuse” that in the future that phrase would be use almost exclusively as a punchline, would he have named it something else?

smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · 26d

Galileo eventually renounced heliocentrism. Yet here we are, still orbiting the sun. Just because you can bully someone into silence with threats of physical or financial destruction, that doesn’t mean you’ve won the argument. It just means you’re an asshole.

smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · 29d

One might start to suspect Florida State doesn’t think they’re getting the respect they deserve. It remains to be seen if scoring 42 points before the half on Kent State will do anything to rectify that situation.

smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · 29d

The AI Google has summarizing all their search results has a real “In conclusion, Libya is a land of contrasts” vibe.

smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · Sep 15

AI is no threat to humanity. It gets all its information from the internet — it’s as stupid as we are.

smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · Sep 13

Me: You don’t listen to a word I say, do you?
My spouse: <sigh> You say so many words.

smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · Sep 12

They always make such a big deal about the new rule saying teams have to declare an onside kick but, really, what NFL team was ever surprised by an onside kick?

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smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · Aug 20

Why do they pronounce it ‘broach’ but it’s spelled ‘brooch’?

smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · Aug 15

Is Leonardo DiCaprio morphing into Jack Nicholson before our very eyes?

smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · Aug 5

The Dallas Cowboys are not a professional sports team anymore. The are a reality TV show.

smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · Jul 27

Watching Always Sunny In Philadelphia is like watching a documentary about how the current administration operates on a day-to-day basis.

smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · May 23

Australian rules football players say “Oof.”

smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · May 20

I just watched Mad God and have it figured out: it is a sequel (or maybe a prequel) to Eraserhead. The Man in the Planet and the Mad God are one and the same. Both are stand-ins for the films’ respective directors.

smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · May 9

Get ready for the Catholic Civil War.

smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · May 7

CBS just cut into the UEFA Champions League semifinal to announce the election of the new Pope. Univision stuck with the game.

smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · May 7

I love reading the old Far Side cartoons that show up every day on the MSN news aggregator thingy. They are still funny. Almost as funny, though, is how often the accompanying AI blurbs that try to explain each cartoon miss the point entirely.

smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · Apr 28

Fun science fact: you could line up every other planet in the solar system and fit them between the earth and the moon. It would be a really bad idea to do that, but you could.

smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · Apr 22

TBS always speeds up the American Dad theme song on rebroadcast, and it really pisses me off.

smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · Apr 20

Everyone should read the book Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson.

smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · Apr 17

Seems to me, if you have to constantly lie about the things you’re doing maybe you shouldn’t be doing those things.

smorrismerrill.bsky.social @smorrismerrill.bsky.social · Apr 14

Tom Petty’s Don’t Come Around Here No More is just an astonishing song. People will be listening to it 500 years from now. You know, if anything besides Kid Rock songs are still legal by then, that is.